Growing old at different speeds

I have been and bought a PS4 since it was my every consuming thought. Now I can move on with my life. I had a good go on it this weekend but still played hours on Minecraft xbox 360. I did no writing work and sort of felt guilty about that. I'll do it during the week instead. Monday has been ok so far. 

I'm going bowling tonight with my step daughter. 

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My son entertained his mum and I as he read out his karate promise excellently. Then explained what a 'split digraph' was. 

My step daughter went for two games of bowling where I beat her both times even though she had the bumpers up. Luck. 

She impressed me with her already mature outlook on life. She just wants to spend her short time on earth being happy in herself. I thought 'she's cracked it already!' These next twelve years will feature most of her 'living her life' before she finds her own little hobbit hole to live out her existence. Everyone is growing old. 

It doesn't always feel like at the same speed though. 

Tiredness / in memory...

My eyes are tired after another 14 hour day. I trawl the internet for PS4 deals in the hope of seeing something that convinces me to rush out and buy one today. Instead I bought PS3 version of the 'Lego Movie' game. I have much to do as regards hobbies etc but watching Minecraft videos seems to be the inky thing I successfully squeeze in before bed. I've just seen a group of friends post about their mate who died from cancer recently and he was younger then me. To see a picture of him with his three kids has truly heartbroken me. For the sake of his memory and that of his kids, I will try and live a better happier existence. 

 My boy had his first karate lesson tonight and his mum told me he loved it. I've been asked to help out with the funds for his lessons as they are £65 per month. Very expensive, but I doubt it will last forever. It's what you do for your kids isn't it? 

It's unlike me to have Lovefilm discs laying about for more than two days but after last years film marathon I'm just doing other bits. Or rather I would be if I wasn't doing overtime. But I'm back enjoying it and I'm not complaining. 

Self published possibilities

After making good headway with my Medium Interviews project, I asked my boss for a price on printing a digital printed run of it once I put it into pagination form. It suddenly became a real consideration that I may hold a book which I'd written in my own hand. I was buoyed up by that idea all day and just wanted to get home and work on it but it was a late one at work. There's no time limit I guess but I'm excited about this thing being realised. This would be another ambition acheived...to have written a book. I believe it qualifies. Also when I see how easy it is to self publish my own work, I may be spurned on to do something else written. 

Karate is so 80's

I had a call last night from my sons mum telling me he is starting Karate lessons soon. I was dreading it being in time I usually had him and that she was going to say I'd see him less. But his lessons are a day I don't see him although I heard her theme tune down the phone.."can you get him to bed earlier because everything he's been at yours he's knackered". 

I was also told that his name is down for swimming lessons and thus may encroach on my end time with him at the weekends. Upon after thought, I've realised I could offer to take him there and in effect have him longer. Plus swimming won't be forever and neither will karate. Karate is so 80's. 

I did get asked to help towards buying kit etc and that's not a problem. I think taking your kids to clubs is a huge part of parenting. It's often against your will too but it's time with them. I quite relish the idea of sharing these interest with him and so If I take him it will be remembered as our time. I freaked out a little bit initially when I thought "I knew he would one day put hobbies and friends ahead of me but not as soon as he was 5". 

I think embracing it is the answer. 

Tuesday February 4th

It was a strange feeling last night having left work and had tea with my son, only to then take him home and find myself on my way back to work for a second time. It was a painless necessity but strange. I got home and crawled into bed and forced myself through 50 pages of reading rather than watching Pain And Gain in its entirety. 

This morning I start a long day which will stretch into overtime. Money money money. I brought milk to work without realising that I'd run out of cereal.   Think it may be cheese and crackers at 10am. 

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My day went quickly even though I stayed at work until 9pm. That's 14 hours work. I crawled into bed after visiting Asda and managed one Minecraft video before sleep. 

Live

As with Paul Walker and Lou Reeds death, waking up hearing Phillip Seymour Hoffman is no longer alive was a sobering affair and made getting out of bed easier knowing today could be my last. 

There is nothing in my life to grumble about. 

We all die so we must all LIVE. 

Sunday morning becomes Sunday night.

Last night after my son had returned home I had settled down to watch Inglorious Basterds for only the second time. I enjoyed it more on this occasion and after that went about working my way through the ps3 games on my downloaded list to see if any were good. In the end I deleted all but minecraft! even going so far as to download the full game of it, even though I have it on xbox 360 already. As much as I was ready to go to bed fully tired. Minecraft managed to squeeze two more hours out of me until I had to retire for the evening. 

8am was when I looked at the clock again. My intention had been to lose three hours in bed watching Gangs Of New York as a start to a lazy day. But instead I made a cup of tea and read 50 pages of Shaun Hutson's Death Day in the hope that the first half of Sunday would see me do some of the writing bits I keep putting off instead. 

I have some reviewing to do from visit 4 to The Picture House and our brief visit to Utley Rugby Club last week. If I don't at least get the notes done then I will deeply regret it. 

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I worked on my Medium Interviews project plus watched video footage of PPS investigation. I watched most of Gangs Of New York followed by setting off to a local cafe over the duck pond at the end of my street, only to find it closed. So I settled into Minecraft on xbox fully knowing that hours would be swallowed. Next up I decided to catch up on ARROW series 1. It's been a productive day all round in my view today and I still seem to be doing a little part of bits and bats. I'm loving this feeling of my own time being my own to fill with my interests, it simply doesn't get old. 

10:10pm now and I'm in bed doing a little Empire reading and writing this obviously. Having still found I had a few hours relaxation left I hit Minecraft hard again building and tunneling for ages. This was prompted from watching Vikkstar123's 23 rd episode of his minecraft series on YouTube. The game is so addictive. 

I have so many different things to keep me occupied that is damn near impossible to fully get on top of everything each month. Keeping busy is the key though, it makes me see that I've done something with my time. I had amazing news last week at work. The large customer who has made us so damn busy has a job I've been printing which will now be getting farmed out to a printer friend of ours meaning I don't have to keep doing it on my press. I'm overjoyed. Maybe now I can concentrate better on the other jobs which need my attention. As well as daydreaming, as daydreaming is a big part of my working life too. Well it's nearly time to lie down and sleep. I guess I should brave myself for overtime this week as ever if I want to have bonus cash in March paycheck. I'm enjoying eating out or buying treats for my son and I on a weekly basis. It doesn't hurt the credit card either. 

Well, goodnight.