March 2017

Brighter mornings and milder temperatures have arrived. It's mid March here and I'm trying to lean out for summer before my bulk restarts. 

My son still entertains me with his view of the world around him and we have a very close relationship. He turns 9 this year and I'm aware that his efforts to spend time with me will end. 

But while it lasts, I intend to enjoy it. 

IM trying to self improve as ever and eat and train well. My most recent surprise NEW girlfriend has proven one thing to me. I don't crave company. Sure it's nice to have another adult to talk to (etc) but it's time on my own where I really feel happiness. 

She's got an astoundingly cool temperament I have to say. I don't envy her being with me. I'm just plain antisocial . 

2017! New old cracks

Sometimes life repeats. You know you've not been here before and yet it all seems so familiar. The new bonus relationship which is three months old has reached that point where I'm accused of not giving enough time to it. This is so familiar to me. At 18 I used to fix my girlfriends to seeing me on a Wednesday and a Saturday. That was it. My other days were free to play video games and watch tv. My marriage went beyond that but pined for me to have time alone. 

So at 42, I have the issue raised at me. I am not built for the sociable moments of relationships. I like being alone. I like me when I'm alone. 

I have nothing against my new girlfriend and I will endeavour to blend my time with her but I will expect cracks to form. 

Why am I like this? I don't know. But I've seen it many times.