I watched ''The Way" this morning. It is a film about a walk called the Campino De Santiago. A father walks this iconic trek after his son dies while on it. It's emotional to say the least and yet inspirational. I cried within minutes of it starting. I wasn't really sure why but I used the two hours to weep here and there and get whatever baggage I had built up, out. Not all out crying you understand but tears on cheeks and reach for the tissues crying. The father son stuff hits me the worst but it was cathartic too. Once it had finished I dusted myself off and showered and now I feel refreshed both inside and out. I even googled the walk. I felt something if a calling, as if an invitation from the idea. 
I realised that I am compelled by isolation and loneliness. Other films that deal with such issues also resonate strongly with me, such as 'Into The Wild', Grizzly Man and even '128Hours'. 
Maybe I will forget about the film and the idea but we will see. I love the idea that I will one day walk it too and if I could walk it with my son then I would be delighted. 

I feel I have made such a spiritual journey just this year and all it took was to move to Silsden. I know how that sounds but I mean how I have 'found' myself by taking myself out of the life I was in. 
I am happy. Yes, that is Chris Whitehouse saying it. 
I AM HAPPY
Any writing prior to my thirties are grim and twisted. 
In a way I do see it as a miracle. Who do I have to thank? Not God, but my son. He gave me the strength to be me.