Broken and new

My Christmas has so far included two breakages. First my tv which died Christmas Day evening and then two days later my washing machine flooded my kitchen. I've replaced both items at this point and hope things are back to normal. There was a cyber attack on gaming networks too which messed my playing up for three days. But not it's the no mans land between xmas and the new year, which I enjoy the best. I am chilling out to the max. Currently my boy is playing Shattered Dimensions next to me. We are both having a good holiday so all is well.  

At this stage I have nothing planned in my mind as regards self improvement for 2015. Off the top of my head I'd say, keep going to the gym and save money where possible to get credit card down. Simple stuff really. 

Dec 25th 2014

8a.m. Christmas Day. To wake up in my house alone on the morning of Christmas may sound like a sad, lonely existence but I know deep down that it's just another day. I saw my three kids (step kids included) for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon at the pub and I will have my boy after he's had his dinner today. It could be the worst thing about being from a failed marriage but I just roll with it. In my case I have grown to understand that I must adapt quickly to situations in order to conquer them. I will have my Christmas morning with him this afternoon and the following day with my brothers gathering. 

The truth is that it's just a Thursday in December. The even truer truth is that it's just one more unnamed revolution of the earth. 

Christmas is religious. I am not. 

It's all a facade. 

Nevertheless I will get up and have my time in the sun playing Call Of Duty and Destiny with the new players. 

I had the good news that my stepson is back home for good now after his troubles. It makes me feel happy that he's happy again. Plus he asked to come to mine when I return his brother home in a few days. I look forward to hanging out with him. My step daughter mentioned her desire to have moved out by next year or at least have plans. Their youth has now passed and they're ready to go it alone or at least try. I hope they don't fall from the nest as hard as I did. 

Coffee and thinking

My Sunday began at seven AM as I watched Goggebox in bed. I showered and ate two breakfasts whilst soaring through Arrow series 2. It was soon time to go to the cinema where I watched Penguins Of Madagascar and Night At The Museum 3. 

By this time I knew I wouldn't be bothering with the gym this once. It was cold, dark and wet. Instead I ate slow cooker sausage stew which I'd made on Saturday and played minecraft . I briefly played Destiny but got bored. I also played an hour of Knack until I got a diamond to please my son. 

To wrap up my Sunday, I watched Harry Potter 6. 

I was in a good mood knowing that Monday was going to be my last official working day of the year. Half day skive on Tuesday.

And now is Monday morning. I have a seven hour full colour job to assist through my printing press. The holidays are among us. 

Plenty of coffee and thinking is the plan. 

Nativity

I had two hours off work to watch my son's performance in Angel Express at school. The school nativity invariably stars a mixture of kids who speak so quickly and quietly that you can't hear them or with plenty of loud confidence. My son had enthusiasm left over from his early morning show, which his mum attended, for his afternoon performance which I went to. These kinds of things don't last long so you should try and go to them. My boss is understanding of this since he admits he went to far too few. 

We played with Power Ranger figures once home and the story involved time travel which seemed like a really complicated timeline. The evening flew by as usual and I watched a programme about quantum mechanics- which I really enjoyed. 

With the school run mastered again this morning and a final goodbye- love you- shouted across the school car park, I went to work. 

The day's been wet and dark outside. Inside Ive had a full days job on printing so it's been steady. It looks like I'll even clock in an hour or two overtime before I hit the gym. 

Mid December 2014. Gym, films and Minecraft (anything to avoid people)

Over the last few days I've been headphones deep in Minecraft. The troubles of the world at large can't reach me there. My stepson has had yet another teenage strop with his mum and stormed out to a friends. I tried to intervene but it seems this one has to play itself out. My little boy is suffering a cold this week but hopefully he'll be over it by tomorrow as it's his school play. As other people's lives evolve from one problem or concern to another, do I take pride that mine is in some sort of catatonic state? Or am I hiding from opportunity? 

I guess the best thing about life is that you don't know what's around the corner. A healthy dose of fear makes things interesting. As for the gym, I've lost fat from my mid section and yet gained weight. Half a stone in fact in six months. 

The year of 2014 has been lovely and hassle free. 2015 is gonna kick fucking ass. 

Weds nov 10

Went to the gym, wrote my diary, wrote my blog, watched Harry Potter 5 and played Call Of Duty AW to level 42. Boy, that was a productive evening. Two weeks until xmas eve and the news says there's a 'weather bomb' on its way. I listened hard to hear the explanation. Are terrorists now flying bombs over inside storms? Is a bomb going to go off in London and cover people in snow? No, it's just going to be windy. The media are good at stirring shit up. 

Remember the millenium bug? 

Tonight I have my son again midweek and that's got me in a good mood. I hope to play with toys together. Who will I play toys with when he's a teen? Oh brain.. Don't start!  

Gym Christmas audiobook mix.

I clung to my two hot water bottles like my life depended on it this morning, as the alarm woke me for another day at work. Once my feet hit the floor there was no going back. It was an easy day which had a segment of delivering for two hours. I took this opportunity to play more of my audiobook (The Damnation Game) and I now only have fifty three minutes left. The visit to the gym came with renewed vigour but a shorter time spent there. I blasted my allowed routine and crawled through heavy traffic towards home in the darkness and thick rain. I feel better today than I did on Sunday. Today is my stepsons 17th birthday. He was 3 when we met and he was a lovely little lad who sang Slipknots Wait And Bleed to me whilst doing some rock thrashing and most importantly, getting the words wrong. I rang him this morning and arranged our meeting on Sunday to see The Hobbit part 3. If I think too much about the dissolution of the family unit I will get upset so instead I will revel in the fact that I can still him and his sister when I like and still do.

It will be good to catch up with him. 

I've written my Christmas cards whilst sitting at my small lamplit writing desk and I think that is the last piece of the Christmas puzzle. I have Smashing Pumpkins in my headphones. There new album MONUMENTS TO AN ELERGY. 

It's no Siamese Dream. 

I have three hours left now to fill and have yet to decide what I will do. Hopefully when I post this and close the iPad I will know. 

Grinding to a halt

I'm still reeling from yesterday's feeling of the future where my son is all grown up and living his own life without me. He's at an age now where I see him across give days of the week and it's skipping through my fingers as the years pass. I know, I know, it's the same for everyone. 

But I must adhere to my own inner belief and LIVE IN THE 'NOW'! 

I am seeing him tonight and i can soak up his company and his loving cuddles. I must make each moment together memorable for the both of us. 

My boss is away today as he has a slipped disc which is probably down to age because he does enough walking to render him 'healthy'. It will come to me too. As I read from my iPhone screen earlier I realised I was pulling a face to focus the writing. Every day is a tiny increment closer to rotten body time. 

Christmas 2014 is upon us and we're not as busy as we used to be so there's neither a sense of urgency or a need to machines etc. This weekend my son and I hope to visit my gran who is 94 I think. Still with us, as is her 100 year old sister. Her sister however isn't in a good way and has recently been out into care. I hope I live that long. 

I'm still trying to complete my Doctor Sleep Kindle book and my audiobook of The Damnation Game. This week I will knuckle down and do a set time of both. 

I'm seeing my stepson at the end of the week to go see The third Hobbit film. He turns 17 tomorrow-yet another depressing thought.  

I'm still here. ..

I've been meaning to write, honestly I have. But I've been chilling watching Film after film, playing video games and reading. With Xmas close, I've enjoyed the build up to it without any pressure. 

My gym visits have slipped to the point where tonight has been like a refresher course due to injury outside of the gym. I just have to sleep funny on my shoulder and I'm fucked. I'm too old to get muscly or at least my body is. 

I don't truly believe that. 

I'm happy still, and that remains a surprise. My son is still all I am. He returns my love and fills my cups so that I need nothing else to be in charge of my demons. 

I'll try write again in a better time of day. Good night. 

Trivial Pursuit/Episode 7 trailer

My son and I went into the local town of Keighley on Saturday and it's been years since I've actually sauntered round there. I noticed 'change' in general. Shops replaced by other shops which I still use as reference markers. "Oh you know, by Woolworths", which went bust years ago. My mind is referring to a past age and I'm only 40. 

The town seems full of 'pound shops' in an ever increasing war of selling tat.  I did however find Halo 4 for £7 on the xbox 360 which is forgotten it was on. I played it for  twenty minutes before a feeling of ' nothing new' came over me. 

In the afternoon we played Trivial Pursuit for kids which we both enjoyed. My sons reading of the questions was an experience as his had to pronounce Napoleon, Socrates and the Panama Canal etc. 

we both learned stuff from playing.... Namely how I'm a bad winner as well as a bad loser. 

The biggest news this weekend was the first teaser trailer of Star Wars Episode 7!!! I had said two days earlier that I would not watch it in the hope of seeing the film and having it all  be a surprise. It took me thirty seconds of having it on my Facebook page before I'd clicked it. I instantly felt 7 again and boy that felt good.   

I've never felt so excited about a film in my life. 

I've watched it five times and read break down text on it by fans. 

2015 is going to be kickass!!