My sisters 21st was a success. A succession of young beauty's danced for the enjoyment of the rest of us who were twice their age and made us feel old. By the end of the night after drinking shots, my sister and eldest brother were far gone. As I drove home I passed my sisters boyfriend who had disappeared. He staggered along the long long black road towards...well... not much. He wore a t shirt as he zig sagged and I stopped and offered him a lift. The story goes that a/ he felt Ill and b/ he didn't even recognise me.
I have drifted off many many times on foot whilst drunk and I really don't miss those bad decisions.
He and my sister go on holiday today and take their hangovers with them.
Oh to be 21 again? NO
Helium balloons were inhaled and that always makes me feel like a right boring bastard. I don't find it funny and I get concerned that it might give you brain damage as that's what I heard.
So I tried my best to not look like a spare part but that was difficult. My sister drunkenly rang me up to 1 am and spoke gibberish. It was amusing.
Today (Saturday) I am at work again, trying to amass more overtime cash. I have my son this afternoon and I look forward to that. I'm really tired though already.
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Thursday, 29 March 2012
An attempt to write which failed.
Another sunny day today and my son once again fell out of bed. I worked over again today and then had a real rush to grab a McDonald's and get to the cinema to watch 'Pirates!' which I enjoyed all of.
Then it was time to burn a cd and that turned into one of those hour sessions where iTunes can't recognise it's own library which means I will have to import 90 gig of music from scratch.
Oh well.
It's my sisters 21st birthday party tomorrow and as she gets to the peak of her maturity, I stand plucking my nose hairs and have an eye test booked. There's seventeen years between us and that sums up the golden period of life. Outside of that bracket is not as good if you are wanting to live life to the full and
present yourself at your best.
On the way to the cinema this evening I saw George Galloway waving at me from an open topped bus, Weird!.
I'm sorry...I'm too tired to do this properly so I'm off to sleep.
Then it was time to burn a cd and that turned into one of those hour sessions where iTunes can't recognise it's own library which means I will have to import 90 gig of music from scratch.
Oh well.
It's my sisters 21st birthday party tomorrow and as she gets to the peak of her maturity, I stand plucking my nose hairs and have an eye test booked. There's seventeen years between us and that sums up the golden period of life. Outside of that bracket is not as good if you are wanting to live life to the full and
present yourself at your best.
On the way to the cinema this evening I saw George Galloway waving at me from an open topped bus, Weird!.
I'm sorry...I'm too tired to do this properly so I'm off to sleep.
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
If I drop dead..I will die happy
It's worth mentioning at this stage, that I have had a few dizzy spells lately. On similar occasions I have experienced a shortness of breath as I feel like I've done a sprint and stopped, yet I am stood still.
Being a man I think this means death is soon to follow.
Yes, I could go see a doctor but as I said I'm a man.
So let it be known that I think something it about to pack in within my framework. I have made a correlation between tiredness and coffee hits which result in these funny turns. Caffeine does affect me strongly so as of this morning I am going to stop for a week and see if I feel better. Plus I will try sleep longer.
Having said that though, I have reached a place of happiness which in my opinion doesn't need to be bettered. On the one hand this is good but what if that means I've completed my life's purpose....to attain happiness. Will I now be struck down?
Whatever happens I will die with no loose ends. All apologies which I wanted to make have been made.
I can die happy because everything is perfectly balanced.
So I guess the only way is down from here.
Shit.
Being a man I think this means death is soon to follow.
Yes, I could go see a doctor but as I said I'm a man.
So let it be known that I think something it about to pack in within my framework. I have made a correlation between tiredness and coffee hits which result in these funny turns. Caffeine does affect me strongly so as of this morning I am going to stop for a week and see if I feel better. Plus I will try sleep longer.
Having said that though, I have reached a place of happiness which in my opinion doesn't need to be bettered. On the one hand this is good but what if that means I've completed my life's purpose....to attain happiness. Will I now be struck down?
Whatever happens I will die with no loose ends. All apologies which I wanted to make have been made.
I can die happy because everything is perfectly balanced.
So I guess the only way is down from here.
Shit.
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
On this day in history
Sunday, 27 March 2011
Today I took my son to Cliffe Castle park which he loves. He was in a very chatty mood today but I was told that he had had a bad night last night. I was told off for not asking how he was between having him. I have him every two days and sometimes everyday so if he is ok when he's with me then I guess he's ok with his mum too. But the beauty of the situation was I could leave. That's what I did.
After the park we went for a walk during which we passed dog walkers and cyclists. I don't understand why people feel it necessary to say Hello to me when I walk pass them in isolated areas. Nobody ever greets me as I walk over the road on a zebra crossing.I don't say hi in a lift. So why do they feel the desire when I am quietly walking on moorland or nature trails?.
Is it because we both have had the same idea, to go for a walk at this particular spot. In that case why don't we all say hello in a dentist waiting room where you could use a bit of friendliness.
I just don't understand.
Posted by Chris Whitehouse
Today I took my son to Cliffe Castle park which he loves. He was in a very chatty mood today but I was told that he had had a bad night last night. I was told off for not asking how he was between having him. I have him every two days and sometimes everyday so if he is ok when he's with me then I guess he's ok with his mum too. But the beauty of the situation was I could leave. That's what I did.
After the park we went for a walk during which we passed dog walkers and cyclists. I don't understand why people feel it necessary to say Hello to me when I walk pass them in isolated areas. Nobody ever greets me as I walk over the road on a zebra crossing.I don't say hi in a lift. So why do they feel the desire when I am quietly walking on moorland or nature trails?.
Is it because we both have had the same idea, to go for a walk at this particular spot. In that case why don't we all say hello in a dentist waiting room where you could use a bit of friendliness.
I just don't understand.
Posted by Chris Whitehouse
A positive entry
My excitement levels rose yesterday as word reached me that my friend and I have to go to Jam Radio to do radio training. So that answers whether or not we will get our own show on the Internet radio station.
I'm very excited.
Last years evolution has led to some surprises in my life. If I believed in destiny in any form then I would credit that. But really it's more a case of "if you are rubbish at something you love doing, then do it anyway".
So my cinema visits will have to be focused on what's hot that week. Luckily my Tumblr page will be useful for the DVD releases which trail weeks behind.
Last night my son and I rolled around playing in the surprisingly summers afternoon in spring. It was the sort of sunny afternoon that in the movies is reflectively looked back on via an old projector in the scene where the family remember happier times.
(what a blessing he is)
With a better attitude at work and almost nine months sober, I feel I have my life in a controlled vice like grip.
Work delivers me patches of overtime which allows me to keep a steady hand with my finances too which makes the rest of my life run smoothly.
I never imagined that my life would be so enjoyable.
(who is this new imposter Chris?)
My universe is my son and myself, orbiting each other (?) with a unified strength whose power can destroy other solar systems.
I'm very excited.
Last years evolution has led to some surprises in my life. If I believed in destiny in any form then I would credit that. But really it's more a case of "if you are rubbish at something you love doing, then do it anyway".
So my cinema visits will have to be focused on what's hot that week. Luckily my Tumblr page will be useful for the DVD releases which trail weeks behind.
Last night my son and I rolled around playing in the surprisingly summers afternoon in spring. It was the sort of sunny afternoon that in the movies is reflectively looked back on via an old projector in the scene where the family remember happier times.
(what a blessing he is)
With a better attitude at work and almost nine months sober, I feel I have my life in a controlled vice like grip.
Work delivers me patches of overtime which allows me to keep a steady hand with my finances too which makes the rest of my life run smoothly.
I never imagined that my life would be so enjoyable.
(who is this new imposter Chris?)
My universe is my son and myself, orbiting each other (?) with a unified strength whose power can destroy other solar systems.
Sunday, 25 March 2012
Sunday
Our paranormal event at my workplace was a success but the four am finish and the nine thirty rise for three hours at work on the Sunday didn't make for good bedfellows. The mist of the morning made way for a sunny and busy trafficked day. So after work I wrestled with my new external DVD writer to the point where I wanted to punch this inanimate object full on the face. But cos I'm such a twat I placed it gently on the table and emailed someone more computer literate and moaned.
My landlord had entered my home the other day and today he handed me a bottle of 'Mould and Mildew remover'. "how you have your shower curtain is up to you but I would like this squirting on the grouting"
He said. How dirty did that make me feel? Jesus!
I pay him money every month to have the choice of where I keep my dust. If I never want to clean while I live here then I have the right to do that.
But...he is a good guy really and I have a lot to thank him for....so like a twat again...I cleaned my shower and bathroom. Now I wrestle with a slight feeling of being walked over.
My landlord had entered my home the other day and today he handed me a bottle of 'Mould and Mildew remover'. "how you have your shower curtain is up to you but I would like this squirting on the grouting"
He said. How dirty did that make me feel? Jesus!
I pay him money every month to have the choice of where I keep my dust. If I never want to clean while I live here then I have the right to do that.
But...he is a good guy really and I have a lot to thank him for....so like a twat again...I cleaned my shower and bathroom. Now I wrestle with a slight feeling of being walked over.
Friday, 23 March 2012
New work ethic needed
I rushed to see 'The Hunger Games' last night. The cinema kept us waiting because they couldn't give us tickets until the print of the film had been tested prior to is watching it. They said they would be no trailers either, which was fine. The young teen girl behind was audibly excited "this is going to be the coolest film, like, ever"
What followed, had the story of 'Battle Royale' which didn't deliver on the fighting and evolved into a semi Twilight/Romeo and juliet. I was pretty unmoved.
I've had enough of being the one at work who has to be the one correcting mistakes that I make. I have turned my personal life around into something remarkable and so as of today I had a new work ethic.
You know the moments you have when you go into a room and forget why you went there? I have those at work all the time. I know that A has to be done to a job. When it's time to do that, I do B.
Then I look a right twat when I have to own up.
Well not anymore.
I am at work tomorrow to do a ghost event and then on my day off work I have to go in for free to correct the job I messed up. So basically I'm not getting a proper weekend and I'm thought of badly.
The shadow of this mistake will cast over the following week and so everyday I need to be vigilant.
I fought with my Sky box to get Anytime + to work and finally I managed it. What I discovered was that I didn't have anytime free to watch what I have anyway before I got it working. I need days to sit and catch up on stuff.
11pm I need to catch sleep since I won't be in bed for over 26 hours from now.
What followed, had the story of 'Battle Royale' which didn't deliver on the fighting and evolved into a semi Twilight/Romeo and juliet. I was pretty unmoved.
I've had enough of being the one at work who has to be the one correcting mistakes that I make. I have turned my personal life around into something remarkable and so as of today I had a new work ethic.
You know the moments you have when you go into a room and forget why you went there? I have those at work all the time. I know that A has to be done to a job. When it's time to do that, I do B.
Then I look a right twat when I have to own up.
Well not anymore.
I am at work tomorrow to do a ghost event and then on my day off work I have to go in for free to correct the job I messed up. So basically I'm not getting a proper weekend and I'm thought of badly.
The shadow of this mistake will cast over the following week and so everyday I need to be vigilant.
I fought with my Sky box to get Anytime + to work and finally I managed it. What I discovered was that I didn't have anytime free to watch what I have anyway before I got it working. I need days to sit and catch up on stuff.
11pm I need to catch sleep since I won't be in bed for over 26 hours from now.
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
Breaking body
My eye test is booked and just over a week away. My workmate and I read my cereal box from afar and explained which bits could be read and which parts were blurry. He's older than me but he still won. My eyes constantly feel tired and everything I look at is blurred. I want HD eyes again. I used to pride myself on my vision. Now I my eyes are fucked. I say that because they won't ever be better, they will just slowly degrade. I can't imagine enjoying life as much without being able to watch film after film so please let me see for a long time yet. I think I would rather you took my legs than my eyes. So of we can do a deal, I'm in.
With a receding hairline and grey stubble and chest hair, I'm a right fucking catch.
But what I can state is that since I bought my new electric toothbrush, my teeth are the whitest they have been since before I drank shit loads of coffee every day. so that's one tick against my name.
I now exactly when I got old too. I had just turned thirty. I had such a bad back at the time from exercise, stupidly. My wife took the piss that I couldn't stand up straight for hours and since then I now need glasses and I get my eyebrows cut when I get a haircut. Is it too late to start moisturising?
Good job that all women are scum really other wise It might hinder my chances of meeting miss right.
Luckily for me, looking for Miss Right is like asking me which kind of torture I'd prefer.
My body is a broken ruin but I am more involved in activities than ever and spend me time with a perfect balance of business and pleasure.
It's been a good year so far.
With a receding hairline and grey stubble and chest hair, I'm a right fucking catch.
But what I can state is that since I bought my new electric toothbrush, my teeth are the whitest they have been since before I drank shit loads of coffee every day. so that's one tick against my name.
I now exactly when I got old too. I had just turned thirty. I had such a bad back at the time from exercise, stupidly. My wife took the piss that I couldn't stand up straight for hours and since then I now need glasses and I get my eyebrows cut when I get a haircut. Is it too late to start moisturising?
Good job that all women are scum really other wise It might hinder my chances of meeting miss right.
Luckily for me, looking for Miss Right is like asking me which kind of torture I'd prefer.
My body is a broken ruin but I am more involved in activities than ever and spend me time with a perfect balance of business and pleasure.
It's been a good year so far.
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Where does nonsense start?
You know there is so many differences in opinion on religion alone that when you add these sub beliefs into the mix, such as Reiki and Shamanic stuff etc, it all gets too much.
I like to think that I talk about spirit stuff that we do as a man of the people who freely admits that I don't have the answers. All I can do is retell want happens to us. To believe in something entirely is to shut off the possibility of you being even a bit wrong and that can't be a good thing.
I seem to be too bothered what others think about what we preach as our understanding of ghost hunting. I need to placate their ideas along side our own. Yet they just Spiel off their beliefs at me without saying "of course no one actually knows or can prove that"
If I say that I believe in the power of 'the strength of belief' then am I just convincing myself of that too, as I say it. What evidence have I got?
I like to think that I talk about spirit stuff that we do as a man of the people who freely admits that I don't have the answers. All I can do is retell want happens to us. To believe in something entirely is to shut off the possibility of you being even a bit wrong and that can't be a good thing.
I seem to be too bothered what others think about what we preach as our understanding of ghost hunting. I need to placate their ideas along side our own. Yet they just Spiel off their beliefs at me without saying "of course no one actually knows or can prove that"
If I say that I believe in the power of 'the strength of belief' then am I just convincing myself of that too, as I say it. What evidence have I got?
still here
I have been busy for the last few days and so unable to reflect my views on the time that has passed. I had some film reviews to write most importantly and new films to actually watch at the cinema which inevitably leads to films to review and write up again. What with Mondays with my son followed by giving my stepson drum lessons, the week had started to escape me once again.
Tonight I am one hour away from going back to 'Crystal Space' for a talk about crystals and their use in spiritual protection. This isn't a normal kind of night. The last one I attended was my first and I enjoyed it I must confess. I have more questions than answers I must also point out but nevertheless I await tonight's adventure.
There's been no word from the radio station about a film review inclusive programme as yet.
Our ghost investigation team has an event this weekend to run and I hope it's as good as the last one.
The warmer weather expands my son and i's (?) horizons. This weekend I hope for a nice climate as we go to Ilkley park to go exploring.
There's a danger of happiness taking over from contentedness of late and that is a sure way to rack and ruin. Bizarrely I am looking forward to a 30th birthday Leeds do that is impending, even though I will not consume alcohol.
I really will try and write up 'A Week In My Life 1996'. I think I have been avoiding it because it could turn into a larger undertaking than I anticipate.
Tonight I am one hour away from going back to 'Crystal Space' for a talk about crystals and their use in spiritual protection. This isn't a normal kind of night. The last one I attended was my first and I enjoyed it I must confess. I have more questions than answers I must also point out but nevertheless I await tonight's adventure.
There's been no word from the radio station about a film review inclusive programme as yet.
Our ghost investigation team has an event this weekend to run and I hope it's as good as the last one.
The warmer weather expands my son and i's (?) horizons. This weekend I hope for a nice climate as we go to Ilkley park to go exploring.
There's a danger of happiness taking over from contentedness of late and that is a sure way to rack and ruin. Bizarrely I am looking forward to a 30th birthday Leeds do that is impending, even though I will not consume alcohol.
I really will try and write up 'A Week In My Life 1996'. I think I have been avoiding it because it could turn into a larger undertaking than I anticipate.
Saturday, 17 March 2012
The Mighty Internet
Saturday night has arrived. I squeezed in five hours overtime this morning before returning home to have a good clean. It was nice to get some fresh air in the house as I had windows open for a bit.
I collected my son and he filled me with great joy as usual. He gave his mum the card we had made as well as the flowers. I played with him at mine and read him stories at bedtime. Now I relax watching 'The Social Network' as I blog etc. Fincher may well be my favourite director and Reznor is my favourite music artist so this brings the two together. It's a lot better than 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo'.
The weird thing what struck me was that I am known as being antisocial in person and yet I blog and am a have pages on Facebook, Twitter, Soundcloud, Tumblr, Instagram and Google+. I need to throw my creative juices about in front of others and yet criticisms tear me down to zero for a day or two.
Even I think my need for the attention from others is pathetic. Other people are pointless towards our development and yet we still judge ourselves by what others may or may not think of us.
Today's people in the know use the Internet to stay with their finger on the pulse. Even people who know shit about the Internet, now are on Facebook. Ten years ago the world was a different place. For example all my movie knowledge and cross referencing actors and directors to movies was impressive. Now worth IMDB and others it's pretty useless.
Nowadays the Internet has made shopping on the high street a fruitless task too. Maybe one day I will no longer even have to leave the couch for a piss.
I collected my son and he filled me with great joy as usual. He gave his mum the card we had made as well as the flowers. I played with him at mine and read him stories at bedtime. Now I relax watching 'The Social Network' as I blog etc. Fincher may well be my favourite director and Reznor is my favourite music artist so this brings the two together. It's a lot better than 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo'.
The weird thing what struck me was that I am known as being antisocial in person and yet I blog and am a have pages on Facebook, Twitter, Soundcloud, Tumblr, Instagram and Google+. I need to throw my creative juices about in front of others and yet criticisms tear me down to zero for a day or two.
Even I think my need for the attention from others is pathetic. Other people are pointless towards our development and yet we still judge ourselves by what others may or may not think of us.
Today's people in the know use the Internet to stay with their finger on the pulse. Even people who know shit about the Internet, now are on Facebook. Ten years ago the world was a different place. For example all my movie knowledge and cross referencing actors and directors to movies was impressive. Now worth IMDB and others it's pretty useless.
Nowadays the Internet has made shopping on the high street a fruitless task too. Maybe one day I will no longer even have to leave the couch for a piss.
Diary scrawl
I found this scrawled in an old diary, it was written when I was drunk!
'My emotions are like icebergs upon my face,
You can only see a small reflection,
of the effects you have made deep within me.
Beneath the surface,
In the cavernous wastes,
Lie the broken shards of my once whole soul.
Floating free like vultures,
That were created by the words you said.'
AND THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IS WHY I DON'T DRINK ANYMORE.
(who needs that in their life).
'My emotions are like icebergs upon my face,
You can only see a small reflection,
of the effects you have made deep within me.
Beneath the surface,
In the cavernous wastes,
Lie the broken shards of my once whole soul.
Floating free like vultures,
That were created by the words you said.'
AND THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IS WHY I DON'T DRINK ANYMORE.
(who needs that in their life).
Friday, 16 March 2012
Friday 16th March.
It's a warm enough March Friday that we can have works shutter door open. The light from the yard and the fresh air gives the loading bay a feeling of life rather than it's usual imposing feeling.
I am soon to embark on four hours more overtime this afternoon. I'll return tomorrow morning for four more but in-between that I am taking my step daughter to see 'The Devil Inside' .
I'm looking forward to seeing her and the film. This is one of The benefits of my not drinking, it means that I can take pleasure from non drink involved events and keep a clear head too.
Dare I put my foot down and declare "I'm happy"?
Yes
But maybe if the sun wasn't out I wouldn't feel so upbeat.
Damn you sun for tricking me with your rays of goodness.
I know it's a trick because if my arms are exposed to it's light in summer, I have to go to the doctors due to 'Prickly Heat' and get strong medication.
It would appear I am a creature of the night.
I have my beautiful son sleeping tomorrow night and we will be handing over the mothers day cards which we made last week. Whatever makes him happy.
Plus there's the mundane things I have to cross off like buying a replacement Dyson hose for my vacuum from a reportedly miserable shop keeper nearby. Also there's the months credit card payment to make and I really must finally book the eye test that I think I need. I considered jokingly going into the local butchers (like in the joke) to book it, just to see if it got a reaction but I decided against it instantly.
So now I will just wait for my work mates to leave at one pm so that I can read as I print.
I am soon to embark on four hours more overtime this afternoon. I'll return tomorrow morning for four more but in-between that I am taking my step daughter to see 'The Devil Inside' .
I'm looking forward to seeing her and the film. This is one of The benefits of my not drinking, it means that I can take pleasure from non drink involved events and keep a clear head too.
Dare I put my foot down and declare "I'm happy"?
Yes
But maybe if the sun wasn't out I wouldn't feel so upbeat.
Damn you sun for tricking me with your rays of goodness.
I know it's a trick because if my arms are exposed to it's light in summer, I have to go to the doctors due to 'Prickly Heat' and get strong medication.
It would appear I am a creature of the night.
I have my beautiful son sleeping tomorrow night and we will be handing over the mothers day cards which we made last week. Whatever makes him happy.
Plus there's the mundane things I have to cross off like buying a replacement Dyson hose for my vacuum from a reportedly miserable shop keeper nearby. Also there's the months credit card payment to make and I really must finally book the eye test that I think I need. I considered jokingly going into the local butchers (like in the joke) to book it, just to see if it got a reaction but I decided against it instantly.
So now I will just wait for my work mates to leave at one pm so that I can read as I print.
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Non drinker
During a conversation with my brother I mentioned that I don't drink anything more exciting than coffee. "oh" he says "are you still not drinking?"
"no I don't drink anymore".
OVER EIGHT MONTHS SOBER.
He the says "well I was trying to think if I could pick you up for 'our sisters' birthday do"
"why would I need picking up?" I ask.
'so you can have a drink" he replies.
"But I don't drink.....I won't be smoking either" I say sarcastically.
"yes I know you don't smoke" he says.
"well I don't drink either so why would I have a drink?"
Each time I have to explain the rules of 'not drinking alcohol' i am freshly dumbfounded by how some people think that 'not drinking' involves drinking. I mean the clue is in the title.
It's no wonder affairs happen if people think that special occasions are outside of any rules.
Shouldn't it follow that peole who drink should forego it on special occasions?
Im amazed by this thinking and how they don't get it.
I don't drink.
If I drank,
I wouldn't be a non drinker anymore.
NON drinker......you see?
"no I don't drink anymore".
OVER EIGHT MONTHS SOBER.
He the says "well I was trying to think if I could pick you up for 'our sisters' birthday do"
"why would I need picking up?" I ask.
'so you can have a drink" he replies.
"But I don't drink.....I won't be smoking either" I say sarcastically.
"yes I know you don't smoke" he says.
"well I don't drink either so why would I have a drink?"
Each time I have to explain the rules of 'not drinking alcohol' i am freshly dumbfounded by how some people think that 'not drinking' involves drinking. I mean the clue is in the title.
It's no wonder affairs happen if people think that special occasions are outside of any rules.
Shouldn't it follow that peole who drink should forego it on special occasions?
Im amazed by this thinking and how they don't get it.
I don't drink.
If I drank,
I wouldn't be a non drinker anymore.
NON drinker......you see?
Sunday, 11 March 2012
Working Sunday
It was a Sunday morning and the world was quiet as my alarm awoke me at 6:15am. I went to work to start my overtime day and hoped my machine would feed paper all day without my pulling my hair out. In between checking my printing i managed to read 200 pages of the Dan Brown book 'Deception Point'. I am enjoying the book and I didn't expect to. Whilst I had the place to myself I set my iPod classic on shuffle through the work stereo. I was taken on an enchanting journey through my life with music which evoked flavours from different times and emotions. I was overjoyed at times and almost in tears the next but all on all it was a therapeutic and enlightening experience, like that of being forced to look inside oneself. Some records that once hurt to listen to, now made me smile again. Some records from when I was fifteen still held a dark glumness which was too dark for me still. The hours flew bay though amazingly considering it was a Sunday. So once home I set my sights on the cinema again. I journeyed to watch 'The Raven' and fidgeted through tiredness as I always seem to nowadays. The film was fine I guess but nothing to spread the word about.
Well that's my weekend spent then. Here comes the working week.
Saturday, 10 March 2012
Cousins visit
My son and I had a little lie in as we watched The Hulk cartoon on iPad in bed. Later in the day we made two different mothers day cards, one of which was a butterfly and the other was a fold out 3-D garden scene. Then we called at Cliffe Castle park and museum for a bit of fresh air since the sun was trying to be out. We visited my mums house after four reminders that my cousins and uncle we're calling at hers for tea which meant we had to call too so as to break the ice for my sisters 21st party. I was there about half an hour before they started leaving. My brothers had been there about ten minutes as my visiting cousins left. I doubt that was what my mum had in mind.
Next I drove to see the JOHN CARTER OF MARS film and had to opt for the 3-D version because it was on sooner. I got home and wrote a review for it and posted it on Tumblr. So now its ten pm and I'm in bed because I am working a twelve hour overtime day tomorrow, even though it's Sunday. Making money as I read seemed ok for an idea. Goodnight.
Next I drove to see the JOHN CARTER OF MARS film and had to opt for the 3-D version because it was on sooner. I got home and wrote a review for it and posted it on Tumblr. So now its ten pm and I'm in bed because I am working a twelve hour overtime day tomorrow, even though it's Sunday. Making money as I read seemed ok for an idea. Goodnight.
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Radio/crystal
After our radio interview the other day my friend said he was wanting to maybe host a radio show of his own. I was silent for a second as I thought that it would be cool. The next day I offered to help him by getting him coffees or doing some little tasks to help him do it. He said "we should co host".
This seed was planted in my mind then. Next he said "you should do film reviews". Last year I started posting film reviews on tumblr and so I offered to continue doing it either by having a presenter reading them on their show or by myself on air. So after a nice email from the radio station this may actually be happening. Pretty excited.
Tonight myself and a member of Otherworld Investigations UK went to a place called Crystal Space to listen to a talk about crystals and their use in 'clearances'.
I enjoyed listening to a different strain of spirit work and of it is nonsense ( which I don't think it is) well its hypnotic and makes sense. The room was filled with a burning smoke of natural herbs etc and was probably against the law in the light if the smoking ban. My team mate loved it and is going back for more tomorrow.
This seed was planted in my mind then. Next he said "you should do film reviews". Last year I started posting film reviews on tumblr and so I offered to continue doing it either by having a presenter reading them on their show or by myself on air. So after a nice email from the radio station this may actually be happening. Pretty excited.
Tonight myself and a member of Otherworld Investigations UK went to a place called Crystal Space to listen to a talk about crystals and their use in 'clearances'.
I enjoyed listening to a different strain of spirit work and of it is nonsense ( which I don't think it is) well its hypnotic and makes sense. The room was filled with a burning smoke of natural herbs etc and was probably against the law in the light if the smoking ban. My team mate loved it and is going back for more tomorrow.
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
Jam radio (post)
Well I'm back from the radio broadcast and hopefully we didn't sound like numpties. It's a case of me being nervous when I'm not speaking but somehow flicking a calm switch when it was me talking.
Hopefully people will react with interest and we may get some new investigations from that appearance.
I'll download the podcast and see how it actually sounded.
We discovered a new area to use on our event at the mill where the radio station broadcast from so that makes the thought of having twenty people join us, not to overbearing.
Hopefully people will react with interest and we may get some new investigations from that appearance.
I'll download the podcast and see how it actually sounded.
We discovered a new area to use on our event at the mill where the radio station broadcast from so that makes the thought of having twenty people join us, not to overbearing.
Jam radio (pre interview)
My stomach is overfilled with chilli con carne and two jacket potatoes. I feel my stomach membrane will never return to it's original size now, like an overstretched jumper.
This is the first time I've had my jumper off at work since about October. Luckily I still wear my double t shirt layer.
As the lighter days creep in I find my mood in a calm state.
There's something soothing about the spring light.
As I sat at home on sunday I heard a car alarm go off and then the sound of someone having to turn it off having mistakenly started it. This is the trouble with most alarms, everyone just ignores them.
Last night as I created music on my iPad, I heard a series of thumps and then a woman wailing in despair. It was so loud that I even looked up from what I was doing!!
As the sounds of sadness floated around my ears I decided I should at the very least look out of my window in case I am asked if I saw anything. I did my best to not be seen.
I saw nothing and the crying reduced.
Strange.
I felt awkward that I couldn't react to what I'd heard. What is a short man weighing about 65 pounds going to do??
My best efforts might have been to give the culprit a Chinese burn but what then?
Tonight our ghost team is being interviewed on a local radio station. It's called Jam Radio. Never heard of it? Nobody has.
That has taken some of my worries away from the situation, well that and the fact that I listened to two podcasts from the station.
But it's a start and they are all nice people and enthusiastic.
I really find this aspect of the team hard work. There's not much I enjoy less than putting myself in a position where people are going to judge me.
This is the first time I've had my jumper off at work since about October. Luckily I still wear my double t shirt layer.
As the lighter days creep in I find my mood in a calm state.
There's something soothing about the spring light.
As I sat at home on sunday I heard a car alarm go off and then the sound of someone having to turn it off having mistakenly started it. This is the trouble with most alarms, everyone just ignores them.
Last night as I created music on my iPad, I heard a series of thumps and then a woman wailing in despair. It was so loud that I even looked up from what I was doing!!
As the sounds of sadness floated around my ears I decided I should at the very least look out of my window in case I am asked if I saw anything. I did my best to not be seen.
I saw nothing and the crying reduced.
Strange.
I felt awkward that I couldn't react to what I'd heard. What is a short man weighing about 65 pounds going to do??
My best efforts might have been to give the culprit a Chinese burn but what then?
Tonight our ghost team is being interviewed on a local radio station. It's called Jam Radio. Never heard of it? Nobody has.
That has taken some of my worries away from the situation, well that and the fact that I listened to two podcasts from the station.
But it's a start and they are all nice people and enthusiastic.
I really find this aspect of the team hard work. There's not much I enjoy less than putting myself in a position where people are going to judge me.
Monday, 5 March 2012
Two ear hairs
What fresh hell is this?
Today I had a shock as I looked in a mirror at work. I noticed that I had two hairs coming out of my earlobe. I have them a pull and at their full extension they were about one centimetre long. I couldn't believe it because I know someone who says that he gets them too and I thought it was funny. Why the hell am I getting them though too. My chest hair is white and my hair is falling out. My eye sight is deteriorating and now I've got weird hairs protruding from odd places.
At 37 I think I have reached old age. I have a major gripe about this as I have not yet had a prime. There's been no time when I've checked myself out in the mirror and thought that I was at my best. I feel betrayed that my attractiveness is taking a blow after never having been on my side in the first place.
Today I had a shock as I looked in a mirror at work. I noticed that I had two hairs coming out of my earlobe. I have them a pull and at their full extension they were about one centimetre long. I couldn't believe it because I know someone who says that he gets them too and I thought it was funny. Why the hell am I getting them though too. My chest hair is white and my hair is falling out. My eye sight is deteriorating and now I've got weird hairs protruding from odd places.
At 37 I think I have reached old age. I have a major gripe about this as I have not yet had a prime. There's been no time when I've checked myself out in the mirror and thought that I was at my best. I feel betrayed that my attractiveness is taking a blow after never having been on my side in the first place.
Sunday, 4 March 2012
Dying in an armchair
Whilst watching 'Misfits' there was scene where an elderly lady had died in an armchair alone in her house with an old photo album on her lap. I realised that I was probably on a direct line to doing the same in my far future and that is the best outcome! That's if I don't die in one of the millions of ways that are fucking terrible. I'm not even 38 years old and it's scaring me that it's inevitable that I'm going to die alone. Yet one thing makes me feel ok about it......my son. It's like I created a second Jesus and he forgives all my sins and justifies my life on this rock.
After preparing my A WEEK IN MY LIFE 1996, I had a chuckle at what was to come next but it also made me realise all the wasted effort I put into the search for love.
How is it that I still can feel a slight pulse when it comes to the thought of meeting miss right?
Surely enough is enough. Love has failed me and many others. If it was like in films it would be good but it's a lie.
After preparing my A WEEK IN MY LIFE 1996, I had a chuckle at what was to come next but it also made me realise all the wasted effort I put into the search for love.
How is it that I still can feel a slight pulse when it comes to the thought of meeting miss right?
Surely enough is enough. Love has failed me and many others. If it was like in films it would be good but it's a lie.
A week in my life - episode 4.2
A WEEK IN MY LIFE (Episode 4- Part 2)
March 7th 1995 onwards....
Living in a room full of boxes made it quite a sterile period of my life which was mostly lost down the local pub. I was in a no mans land and without a girlfriend. I filled the rest of my time out of work enjoying film and music. These were the days before wifi and the Facebook revolution. My diary does still contain the ticket for the showing of '2001 a space odyssey' in CinemaScope at Bradford film museum. I loved the film and bought a ticket for just myself. When I got there, the only seat left was dead centre on the front row which was left empty because of people wanting to always sit apart from strangers. So I steamed in. I really enjoyed being alone for this experience and time had made me retelling my visit as if it was a birthday treat to myself but as I read this diary I can see that it was totally separate from my birthday. It was an enjoyment which I still hold dear and gave me the motivation to go to the cinema alone without worry ever since. This way I wouldn't have my enjoyment diluted by an accompanying friend. The weekends continued to pass and be forgotten in their uneventfulness.
I existed in the world but walked it in noticed. This was why a girlfriend was viewed as the answer to everything. I felt like a ghost and needed someone to make me feel of worth. My life just passed me by when I was single. I felt like I wasn't valid. The southern comforts every night reduced that feeling but didn't irradiate it completely.
With my house purchase on the horizon I spent some time wondering what things I could dress my home with that made it my own. So I bought about eight black and white film stills from the film museum and then clip frames. When I saw large film posters on walls in movies, I always thought it looked cool.
Whilst watching the comedy sitcom 'Game On' it said something that made me laugh but also had me preparing for the piss being taken out of me.
"Chris?...Chris is the sort of name a turd would have if turds had names" it said.
With all the Tarantino media hype around I thought about myself working in a local video rental shop since I watched so many titles of varying quality. Plus my own desire to be a writer of anything seemed to be the same journey as his. I didn't do that at this stage. (although in the early 2000's I did go for an interview in Blockbuster video and I got the job, excitedly I went home to my wife and she then told me I couldn't do it, another cut to my confidence)
March 7th 1995 onwards....
Living in a room full of boxes made it quite a sterile period of my life which was mostly lost down the local pub. I was in a no mans land and without a girlfriend. I filled the rest of my time out of work enjoying film and music. These were the days before wifi and the Facebook revolution. My diary does still contain the ticket for the showing of '2001 a space odyssey' in CinemaScope at Bradford film museum. I loved the film and bought a ticket for just myself. When I got there, the only seat left was dead centre on the front row which was left empty because of people wanting to always sit apart from strangers. So I steamed in. I really enjoyed being alone for this experience and time had made me retelling my visit as if it was a birthday treat to myself but as I read this diary I can see that it was totally separate from my birthday. It was an enjoyment which I still hold dear and gave me the motivation to go to the cinema alone without worry ever since. This way I wouldn't have my enjoyment diluted by an accompanying friend. The weekends continued to pass and be forgotten in their uneventfulness.
I existed in the world but walked it in noticed. This was why a girlfriend was viewed as the answer to everything. I felt like a ghost and needed someone to make me feel of worth. My life just passed me by when I was single. I felt like I wasn't valid. The southern comforts every night reduced that feeling but didn't irradiate it completely.
With my house purchase on the horizon I spent some time wondering what things I could dress my home with that made it my own. So I bought about eight black and white film stills from the film museum and then clip frames. When I saw large film posters on walls in movies, I always thought it looked cool.
Whilst watching the comedy sitcom 'Game On' it said something that made me laugh but also had me preparing for the piss being taken out of me.
"Chris?...Chris is the sort of name a turd would have if turds had names" it said.
With all the Tarantino media hype around I thought about myself working in a local video rental shop since I watched so many titles of varying quality. Plus my own desire to be a writer of anything seemed to be the same journey as his. I didn't do that at this stage. (although in the early 2000's I did go for an interview in Blockbuster video and I got the job, excitedly I went home to my wife and she then told me I couldn't do it, another cut to my confidence)
Friday, 2 March 2012
Swimming.
I collected my son from nursery and we arranged to go to the local swimming baths. We had to first be a mine so I could shower and pack our bags. I hate swimming. Mostly because I could not swim until I was 35? I had been mixing up my front style and my back style and when someone pointed this out, I swam instantly.
Because I was due to parade around in my shorts I had only eaten crisps. With this and the cold air, my stomach resembled the best it could look, which would have to do. The scrutiny that you imagine that you are under from the people already swimming and the life guards is all you can think about, oh aswell as trying to look like you are not thinking about it. Entering a pool is not enjoyable. The key is to get your shoulders in quickly. Which means first submerging your genitals in a water that would be too cold of it was a bath which you were running. There was a seal statue spouting a fine rain spray towards the ceiling that my son and I had to walk around. I got a shock to find it so cold. I hurried out of it and down the steps. That was where the shaking started.
After a minute or two we were fine. My boy loved jumping in and having me catch him before he got a mouthful of water. Then this brought on the air filled shorts which ballooned up as you took them beneath water level. So you had to let the air out and this caused it to look like you had relieved wind into the communal baths. Also as I stood up at all or exited the water, there was the short shrinkage as they stuck to your genitals for all the world to see so you have to pull them off yourself as you emerge from the chlorine drink. It feels unnatural being surrounded by so much near nakedness of other people too. Each man or woman had their cellulite out so you felt awkward looking. Then the teens made you feel like a perv if you so much as looked in their direction. So you can forget even casting your eyes towards the toddlers. So I blocked out the world as best I could and kept my shorts from hugging my privates long enough to keep whether I'd been circumcised a secret.
Now came the pool audience who I saw doing the 'looking up and down' of others the most. How dare they cast aspersions as they sat clothed with a book. The women were the worst, almost openly calculating how they measured up to the mums who were brave enough to wear a swimming costume.
It was a nasty experience as usual.
And yet...
I loved being in the water with my son and seeing him cling on to me all the time. His beautiful face with flecks of water spray made me revel in his fun. It was also a good result that neither of us died.
Because I was due to parade around in my shorts I had only eaten crisps. With this and the cold air, my stomach resembled the best it could look, which would have to do. The scrutiny that you imagine that you are under from the people already swimming and the life guards is all you can think about, oh aswell as trying to look like you are not thinking about it. Entering a pool is not enjoyable. The key is to get your shoulders in quickly. Which means first submerging your genitals in a water that would be too cold of it was a bath which you were running. There was a seal statue spouting a fine rain spray towards the ceiling that my son and I had to walk around. I got a shock to find it so cold. I hurried out of it and down the steps. That was where the shaking started.
After a minute or two we were fine. My boy loved jumping in and having me catch him before he got a mouthful of water. Then this brought on the air filled shorts which ballooned up as you took them beneath water level. So you had to let the air out and this caused it to look like you had relieved wind into the communal baths. Also as I stood up at all or exited the water, there was the short shrinkage as they stuck to your genitals for all the world to see so you have to pull them off yourself as you emerge from the chlorine drink. It feels unnatural being surrounded by so much near nakedness of other people too. Each man or woman had their cellulite out so you felt awkward looking. Then the teens made you feel like a perv if you so much as looked in their direction. So you can forget even casting your eyes towards the toddlers. So I blocked out the world as best I could and kept my shorts from hugging my privates long enough to keep whether I'd been circumcised a secret.
Now came the pool audience who I saw doing the 'looking up and down' of others the most. How dare they cast aspersions as they sat clothed with a book. The women were the worst, almost openly calculating how they measured up to the mums who were brave enough to wear a swimming costume.
It was a nasty experience as usual.
And yet...
I loved being in the water with my son and seeing him cling on to me all the time. His beautiful face with flecks of water spray made me revel in his fun. It was also a good result that neither of us died.
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Grump face
I watch others at work for example, wiggle their hips to a song on the radio and share a joke with each other. Their demeanour radiating a lightness of feeling that is visible to onlookers such as myself. I am happy and content as I stand here and yet my face hangs relaxed in an expression of sadness. It's like I wear a poker face all the time. My inner emotions don't carry from my insides to the outer shell. I can tell that I look miserable as I work or play. Do I need rewiring?
I just don't think my body ever left that teenage look of unimpressed that most teens go through.
As I watched Crazy Stupid Love last night, I was staring at Ryan Gosling. He is one cool bloke and I love watching him act in that understated way of his.
He has knocked Johnny Depp from my number one spot in the people I wish I was charts.
I was amazed to see that he and I are much alike as we both own testicles. It's a start.
I just don't think my body ever left that teenage look of unimpressed that most teens go through.
As I watched Crazy Stupid Love last night, I was staring at Ryan Gosling. He is one cool bloke and I love watching him act in that understated way of his.
He has knocked Johnny Depp from my number one spot in the people I wish I was charts.
I was amazed to see that he and I are much alike as we both own testicles. It's a start.
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