Swimming.

I collected my son from nursery and we arranged to go to the local swimming baths. We had to first be a mine so I could shower and pack our bags. I hate swimming. Mostly because I could not swim until I was 35? I had been mixing up my front style and my back style and when someone pointed this out, I swam instantly. 
Because I was due to parade around in my shorts I had only eaten crisps. With this and the cold air, my stomach resembled the best it could look, which would have to do. The scrutiny that you imagine that you are under from the people already swimming and the life guards is all you can think about, oh aswell as trying to look like you are not thinking about it. Entering a pool is not enjoyable. The key is to get your shoulders in quickly. Which means first submerging your genitals in a water that would be too cold of it was a bath which you were running. There was a seal statue spouting a fine rain spray towards the ceiling that my son and I had to walk around. I got a shock to find it so cold. I hurried out of it and down the steps. That was where the shaking started. 
After a minute or two we were fine. My boy loved jumping in and having me catch him before he got a mouthful of water. Then this brought on the air filled shorts which ballooned up as you took them beneath water level. So you had to let the air out and this caused it to look like you had relieved wind into the communal baths. Also as I stood up at all or exited the water, there was the short shrinkage as they stuck to your genitals for all the world to see so you have to pull them off yourself as you emerge from the chlorine drink. It feels unnatural being surrounded by so much near nakedness of other people too. Each man or woman had their cellulite out so you felt awkward looking. Then the teens made you feel like a perv if you so much as looked in their direction. So you can forget even casting your eyes towards the toddlers. So I blocked out the world as best I could and kept my shorts from hugging my privates long enough to keep whether I'd been circumcised a secret. 
Now came the pool audience who I saw doing the 'looking up and down' of others the most. How dare they cast aspersions as they sat clothed with a book. The women were the worst, almost openly calculating how they measured up to the mums who were brave enough to wear a swimming costume. 
It was a nasty experience as usual. 
And yet... 
I loved being in the water with my son and seeing him cling on to me all the time. His beautiful face with flecks of water spray made me revel in his fun. It was also a good result that neither of us died.