The sun dropped by yesterday and today is hiding above the grey clouds which giver over England.
I can't tell if yesterday's slight grumpiness has moved out of my head.
Tonight I have to do some recording at the radio studio and I'm looking forward to that. Its nearly always on my mind.
I've been single for for practically fifteen months and sober for ten months.
Alcohol sometimes wanders into my mind.
Women still haunt my dreams.
I awake in a cold sweat when I dream I'm in a relationship. I feel trapped.
It's a relief to wake up.
But I worry that curmudgeonly outlook will restrict my life as regards experience.
But when I look at other couples, they seem to waste a lot of time just wiling away the hours. They are content, but that scares me. I try to be doing something which either creates enjoyment or something which will aid me enjoying myself later.
My life is my own and with cramming so much in I seem to have my weeks pass slowly.
I fear these times passing and continue to log everything in diaries and online etc.
I read a good film quote today,
"I don't believe in happiness but that doesn't stop me from being happy" BELOVED
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