Wild things

Start date 7/5/12 found my step son and I playing Modern Warfare 3 and Halo Reach until I had to take him home, where I swapped him for my son. Then he and I watched 'Where The Wild Things Are'. My son recently got the book from the library and after watching it we acted it out. I put the dressing gown over my head and played Carol. I guess that film kind of some up our relationship when we are together. We are each others world only when we play at mine. I told him we would go to a forest soon and play escapism imagining games like you do when you are young.
I told him that I didn't want a girlfriend because I just wanted to be able to always play with him and he looked very impressed and gave me a huge cuddle.
I didn't mention the fact that I am incapable of executing a proper relationship with anyone who needs to depend on me emotionally.
Once our playtime was over I headed to the radio studio where I have now finished three shows and I managed to get a final playback date.
Next Saturday Is broadcast show one.
I am starting to have thoughts about whether or not I am broken or not. This led me depression in the early 2000's and that's why it's a concern.
I get more reclusive by the week but no less in need of people's praise or validation.
My main worry is that whilst I don't feel that there is a hole left by a lack of a woman in my life, will I eventually see that there is a hole and that it's too late to do something about. You know even as I write that I strongly feel that what I am doing is right for me, and I need to trust myself.

There's a desire to share your happiness with others but I always find that they ruin it for you in the end as they don't care about you being happy as much as you yourself do.
It's a selfish world.