Just checking in...

After spiralling through Monday evening as usual, Tuesday came around and that brought a radio meeting which changed my enthusiasm for my radio management to near zero. It wouldn't be fair on the station to tell any further so I won't. I have released myself from all but the weekly radio programme which I contribute on. So this should free up my time slightly at least.

The sun showed up today for a few hours. The cold air hadn't budged though and my boiler had decided to not stay lit. I fumbled every ten minutes relighting it in an attempt to get warm. One final kick to the system and it groaned into life for the evening. My son played with his new light sabre and then we acted The Atom and The Flash cartoons.
A few books together at bedtime and I watched Wrong Turn 4 later before going to bed unimpressed with the film.

It's another slow time at work this week as jobs to print dry up. Tonight is more medium interview stuff with the mother of a medium who I have spoken to. I've no idea what will come up but there's potential.

My mission to fade into the background is going much better currently I'm happy to say. My son and I have our own things going on and Facebook etc is easier to leave alone. My water and walking intake is weak though. I think that will change with the warm weather.

Last weekends Controlled Evening with a magician didn't give the results I'd hoped for. It seemed apparent that when the team were blindfolded at the Ouija board, then the spirit couldn't see either. That does not look good.

My blindfold experiment has been spread to other teams for them to try so I can gather more data. One team said it had done something similar with deaf people and yet the board had still worked.
Guess we keep exploring that avenue.

On Sunday I'm writing with my aunt all day. I think the book needs a hell of a lot of re writing to be honest.

Right I'm off....

When the universe speaks, you listen.

What a day. I met my old girlfriend and her children this morning and it was wonderful to be honest. It's not often people become friends twenty years after being lovers but there such a strange sense of synchronicity about my life this past year, that I just roll with it. I went to watch CLOUD ATLAS afterwards and the film spoke to my very soul. We are drawn to certain other souls over our lives and its beyond our understanding why. I came out of the screening with the feeling that I'd had an over view of my existence and was then plummeted back into my current singular moment to continue with my day to day life.
"What is an ocean, but a multitude of drops?" The film said.
Do we resit our lives after death and have our minds wiped for the best part? Sometimes having a premonition or a sense of déjà vu as we go in circles?
Maybe life is the evolution of spirit after all.

I'm in tune with myself at the moment and believe that the world is playing just for my benefit. Solipsism at its most fundamental.

I watched I GIVE IT A YEAR after which I also connected with as my view on my marriage. It's been just the strangest of days.
Beam me up ...... I think I finally understand.

Meeting my replacement

I had been told that this weekend I wouldn't get to see my son as his mum had requested that he stay with her, her new bloke and his kids who were down from Newcastle. Cut a long story short.... I forgot.
So there I am stood outside his class as usual to collect him and another bloke steps in as my son comes out. I just think that this bloke is another dad who may know my boy through school etc but as I accost my own son who hasn't seen me he says "this is ********"
I realise that this bloke is my replacement and the suddenness of the meeting made any concern not have time to take place. He seemed really gentle and polite and I responded totally nicely too. That was that, the moment I met him was I over without me knowing it.
I took away a good feeling too that he was just a normal bloke and not the 'new guy' who you imagine will get with your ex who is pure awesomeness and let's be honest... A cunt.
So I came away feeling great.
I think we all benefitted from my mistake in the end. And it's not often I get to say that. Any trepidation I have when his car is there is now nil and was only small to begin with.

Cool beans.

No Drug temptation

I was told by a person I know, that they are taking the drug MDMA this weekend. He told me because my recreational drug use is documented here and he knows I'm pro drugs. I haven't touched any for years and years.
With all the talk of Ecstasy and other drugs I was glad that I didn't feel tempted. It was easy to chat about the memories of the era of my life and I felt his excitement too at the prospect but still held firm that it isn't for me a anymore.
There's a huge danger with me living alone that no one is around to stop me making the same old foolish decisions. But as I explained to him, my son is the strength I have inside me now. He has filled whatever hole was there.
Last weekend I went out to Skipton with workmates and while smelling the alcohol in the air was nice, I still wasn't tempted.
As I looked at all the beers In front of me I knew I would enjoy drinking them all up, but my current lifestyle of sobriety is worth protecting.
They had been out for hours by the time I arrived and some had almost lost the ability to speak or were speaking to a conversation which had finished minutes ago. I saw that alcohol turns us into some sort of handicapped person (I don't mean any offence by that phrase) .
So the person who is having these drugs in a day or two could see my point when I said I wasn't interested.
Also I believe that one would lead to the other.
Drinking would allow drugs in and drugs would make me drink.
Maybe when I'm at the last decade of my life and my son is grown up I will revisit these lands and wallow in their mine fields (mind fields?) but until then I am happy without them and I am going to knock this house of cards down.

We done me.

Thursday in February

I've had another evening of interviewing a Medium and enjoyed it as ever. I'm lucky to be able to pursue such projects and have people agree to get involved. There's more to life than a lot of people know. I'm drawn to the magical side of life like a moth to a flame. I feel I'm growing spiritually as a person and I'm in touch with my inner voice more these days- mostly because these days its saying nice things about me.
I am meeting up with an ex from twenty years ago at the weekend to collect a light sabre toy for my son from her. I'm looking forward to seeing her actually purely as she is a friendly face who I'm fond of. It may be slightly weird for both if us but its still ok. Life has taken us to entirely different places and this meeting would never have happened if Facebook hadn't allowed me to apologise for being a twat all those years ago.
I have my paranormal evening with my magician contact too this weekend. This will be a great experiment and I can't wait.
You find me sat in silence in my front room at 10pm on a Thursday. I'm not in the slightest bit lonely, in fact I'm at peace. I will see my son tomorrow afternoon from school and its my favourite time of the week. I took him to school this morning too. He climbed into bed with me this morning and cuddled me. He smells lovely, I know that sounds weird but any parent will understand.
I am getting better at staying off social media this week and even the radio station holds the chance of a second wind of motivation where my involvement is concerned.
The whole podcast ordeal seems to have an answer so my efforts aren't wasted each Tuesday.
I'm due a whole day at home alone but it won't happen within a week. I'm looking forward to Cloud Atlas on Sunday even if its crap. I have built up a real respect and belief in myself of late and kind of feel I can achieve anything I put my mind to. Except Telekinesis.

I want to do so many things each evening but can only choose one or two. Still I mustn't complain. In other news, my father hasn't e mailed for about three weeks. He had done well and I don't blame him for stopping I suppose.

Do you know what? I'm off to bed. Goodnight.

Co writing

So I have a couple of weeks before I return to my aunts house to devote a day to her novel and drawings for it. So I hope to lose myself a little in painting and sketching over these next days. So if I don't blog much then I'm just busy in a different world. As it goes I have many other things on but they're under control at the moment. A place for everything and everything in its place.
After my three mile walk and play in the park I'm also ready to be outside more too. 2013 has been kind to me so far and I Intend it to continue.
I'm always talking about disappearing from society and into my little world but I'm spinning so many plates that It makes it not happen.

Another splash of sunshine has arrived through works window thus afternoon although snow Is forecast once more.
I have a nice little drive out on the way to pick up my son later where I can listen to podcasts from Jam Radio. I'm listening to every show for a week to check for tech errors. The findings were not good if I'm honest.
I'm closer to leaving than ever.

Keep on creating...

The weekend has ended. Midnight approaches on a Sunday evening and we start all over again soon. Today I awoke 6:40am and started reading my Lee Child book in bed. I showered and went straight in to finishing a write up of my latest Medium interview pieces since I have a new one on Thursday to conduct. Since the sun was almost out I cleaned the house and van and then set off for a canal walk towards Skipton for a mile and a half and back. Listening to podcasts as I walked was wonderful and the hour flew by. One home and fed I went to cinema to watch A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD. Hmmmm not great, but still a Die Hard film after all. I jumped out of the cinema and headed for tea at my aunts house where she spoke about my involvement in writing some improvements in her novel. So that's a new project we will be working on currently. I also spent time today working out how I was going to run our Controlled Evening with our ghost team and a local magician to see of we can prove ghost involvement in our Ouija board movement. I almost can't keep track of all the things I'm doing.
The brighter weather has really helped my motivation especially now my son and I can get out to the park etc. he climbed on the rope climbing frame for the first time this weekend.

There trouble brewing at the radio station and I need to be invisible at work too but that's all for another days blog.

I'm in good spirits and being really productive because I know just how much time and effort I need to out into things.

Hopefully I'm fading quietly into the background of life from the sight of others. I just want a quiet life.

All is good...

Hey there! It's been a few days i think since I wrote.
I've been running from cinema visits with my stepson and daughter to hanging out with my son and generally dealing with my ongoing paranormal work and writings. Currently I have two new purchases. One was a crystal ball and the other was Tarot cards. I tried the ball and fell asleep and I'm learning a new tarot card meaning each day. Jam Radio is wobbling at the moment as I feel nothing much has improved with my help. I'm considering calling it a day, at least in my management role.

I had a long long trip home yesterday as tiny snowflakes made traffic horrendous. It was pathetic really.
Today is valentines day. I celebrated it by yesterday posting a tweet which read "FUCK OFF Valentines day you smug faced twat". That seemed to prove popular with some.
I've been quite busy on Instagram (cwhitehouse0) but not Facebook.
Another busy weekend approaches but I relish what I'm doing.
All is good I'm glad to report.

A quiet life please ..

I do hope my ex isn't about to start any shit with me. I also wouldn't be surprised to discover she is pregnant either. She has that telltale glow, if by glow I mean 'looks fatter than usual'. I wish her well though either way. All I want in return is a life where she doesn't complicate my quiet existence.
I have a few break ups near me at the moment as friends are changing partners and splitting families apart.
I want more distance between myself and my previous incarnation as married and dead. There's so much more to life without a partner who is as loving as a cancer. I'm firing on all cylinders right now and feel I'm living finally, as the cobwebs blow off in the breeze.

Life's journey.

Another weekend over. A good one thankfully. My son and I played well and happily together and told each other we loved each other more than the universe. We had chosen to not leave the house if we could help it and just play. I went on to swap him for my step son and we went to the cinema (Wreck It Ralph) before heading to mine to watch tv and play Black Ops 2 till bedtime.
Sunday (today) started off with Jackass 3-D until we went to Jam Radio where I had to train a new DJ. From there we ended up once again at the cinema since he had left his key at home. We watched Hitchcock this time. Sunday tea time I was to be found watching Killer Joe and reading my first Lee Childs book in the bath all ready for the onset of Monday.
I've squeezed in a listen to some medium interview stuff and write a bit up.

I have a good feeling in my gut. I'm trying to keep my head down. I'm drinking water again finally. I have my hands in my differing projects at the moment and if I never left the house I'd still be busy with various writings. There's still nowhere I'd rather be but obviously if I could have a life out of a fairy tale ending then I guess I would. But since that's bollocks I guess I'm good.
It feels great to be on the correct train tracks and also be facing in the right direction.

Here's to reaching the correct destination, even if the trains late.

Tuesday to weds

Last nights Radioactive show went well I thought. I cut a little groove of my own into the show. I had to buy paracetamol twice due to leaving the first box on the till area. My cold was medicated enough to survive the broadcast and I went home to rest afterwards.
I was quite chipped this morning actually so it seems to be passing.
I'm still behind on sleep but having cut back on caffeine I feel more sleepy anyway.

I'm looking forward to a day or two doing NOTHING to recharge my batteries. I'm trying as ever to stay off Facebook so that I only put proper stuff on. I can't stand these pictures of someone holding a home made 'Tramp Board' saying "if I get a million likes...". They are going to grow and grow like a fad until the backlash begins.

White Horse, Bingley investigation

White Horse
We had the pub to ourselves last night which was great. Our initial plan was to split into two smaller teams and create a third 'Static Room' with just a camcorder recording our meters, trigger object and dictaphone. The Static Room was something we did but the stables and barn were just further places with trigger objects in by the end as we ended up fixating on one upstairs room which we call The Gin Room.
A spirit came through quickly and called himself Jack Bailey although this later turned out to be a false name he admitted. Later he said his name was Xavier. Later still he told us a second spirit in the room with us was called Cedric but as Cedric wasn't spelt out on the board and only answered in the positive, when someone had it in their head, we can't be too sure.

Noise was a key issue for us. We were forever trying to distinguish natural noise from spirit noise. But we heard footsteps, drumming and possible knocking In response to us requesting it.
There was a coldness still over Gill and she seemed very effected by it. Xavier said it was his doing. His friend was at another corner between us and later still we had three spirits stood around the table who said they were the three Knights seen downstairs and even gave their most present location as 'bar'. The seemed secretive and unsure of us but keen to be involved. Xavier kept asking 'Why?' When I explained things to him. He came around in the end and touched Sue on the shoulder. Kevin saw a large which ball of light fly through the room along with shadow play which others saw.
We stuck I this room as it had so much to offer.
As the Knights speedily dragged the glass in a line, back and forth, back and forth there was a palpable feeling of energy building around us and I shared sense of anticipation around the team. It did feel crowded in there to be honest as the temperature with us dropped suddenly as the spirits soaked up our energies too.
Finally a young boy we touched upon last time came through. We'd even brought him some toys which we put out and have left for him which he liked.
Sam Reece was his name. 1777 was a date he gave and he spoke of The War Of The Roses. He also mentioned 'Massacres' which took his family. He himself died of old age in his seventies. He was from Bingley and on the 'White' side of the roses. He was fearful of the Knights. Sam presented himself as the 8 year old version of himself as that was when his family had been taken from him. There seemed to be a much deeper relevance at play with the information we got be we couldn't work it out right then.
More visits are required and a good review of evidence on camera and audio is next on the cards.

EVP

EVP
Electronic Voice Phenomena.

One of the most tantalising pieces of evidence which can occur on an investigation is the capture of an EVP. While many websites lead down the path of 'White Noise' or 'Static' analysis, which use televisions or radios which are untuned to find voices of the dead imprinted on them, I find the use of camcorders and dictaphones more fascinating.
The problem with white noise capture is that of audio Matrixing which is basically hearing random swishes of fuzz and static and trying to assign real words to the noises. Whereas with a dictaphone for example you perform a mere recording with a microphoned piece of equipment and if you ask out questions to inspire communication then although nothing is heard audibly at the time of recording by your ears, upon playback there are voices if your lucky.
Our team has been quite lucky with these and caught three or four definite voice replies along with animal noises where animals weren't present.
But the capture percentage works out at less than 10% and so there's a lot of audio to trudge through with nothing surprising on. But when you believe you've caught something substantial, it makes the hours worthwhile.

Why and How this works is open for discussion I guess but the common reply to those would be this;
Spirits use their energies to show themselves in different projected states to the living. The can be anything from a breeze, a mist, a push force up to a full bodies solid looking manifestation. They can use that same energy to manifest audibly onto an electrical frequency which is then heard by us.
Sound itself (along with every thing in the universe) is a vibration and so to aid spirits in creating audio, some believe creating a sound wave or vibration for the spirit to use is a more likely path to catching something.
So singing bowls, gongs, bells guitar notes or chants have become a usual tactic. So after you've made a noise, you would spend five minutes or so 'asking out'.
"Please tell me your name?" Then leave a gap of absolute silence.
"Why are you here?"
That sort of thing. But something to gear in mind is the spirit building up its energies to get the strength to do it part. How long does this take? It's all guess work which is why you should start your recording at the beginning and run for the duration which means a LONG review section which we recommend be broken down into fifteen minutes when listening back.
Ofcourse it's all guess work to a degree and when you get results it's hard to say what you did right to make it happen.
So if you are serious about catching a ghost voice, you need two things...patients and as much controlled quiet as possible.
Another approach is to speak out what you want to an empty room and leave.
Providing there's no interruption, you may be surprised by what you find.


C Whitehouse.

Hurray! I'm not dead.

I awoke through the night still insure if I'd see morning but I have made it now. Stomach ache now seems down to hunger. I'm enjoying cereal at work along with a calming cup if tea. When I had woken in the dark I'd had two thoughts circling my head. One was that I had stomach cancer and two was that I should call my medium interview write up The Knowledge.
If I do call my interviews that though will it make me have cancer or are the too unrelated.
This morning I decided to reduce my sugar and coffee intake and to get a healthy amount of sleep.
There was a good scene in Flight where a cancer patient talks of letting go of the control we try to have over our destiny. God has it all in his hands and we should just give in to that. He has a plan for us and even the bad things are for the best reason. So I guess I'm following whatever lesson I'm meant to take from last night and take better care of myself. I thought walking more and not drinking or doing drugs was enough but it would appear more is needed.
I look forward to seeing my son this evening with the thought that I may not have. What's also good is that I have always made it clear to him everytime how much I love him so that in the event of me dying, he would know, which means I can in effect die happy at any time ( but not he happy to due you understand). As you can imagine, if I did get cancer I'd be hard work. One funny turn and I condemned myself to blogging goodbye to this cruel world. Bloody men.

Death?

I feel terrible. Large Cappuccino and large bag of dark chocolate m and m's were my dinner today. I watched three cinema films today and I arrived home feeling sick and tired. I had six sugar sachets in my coffee too so I guess that has hit my empty stomach pretty hard. It's 8:28 pm and I feel slightly better for having a bath but I'm in bed now writing this blog to give a clue as to my possible death if I don't wake up. I know I'll see tomorrow deep down but I'm taking no risk.
Naturally I just want to say once again that I love my son.
I was awake damn early this morning and kinda forced myself to do a lot with my day.
So that's it. I'll see you on the other side or just to tomorrow.
I also want to say that due to my son, I've died happy.
Goodnight.


I'm sure ill be fine.....I've had worse hangovers and I've been sober nineteen months for goodness sake.

Full of pizza and possibilities

It's 4am on Sunday morning and I've made a welcome cup of tea to try and aid digestion of the two pizzas I had to myself last night. I'd really enjoyed 'Bullet To The Head' at the cinema and then my friends company in the pub for a couple of hours. When I left that group for them to have a curry, I went to Asda and pigged out on the aforementioned pizzas whilst watching 'Enron- The Smartest Guys In The Room' until I turned it off midway through to sleep.
So that brings us to now. Stomach dry and stodgy and throat dry too.
I had kinda wanted to not have to call at the pub last night (as was expected) and yet came away glad that I had. There is always the voice which wants to not bother doing my plans, especially when it means using up time to go to a pub since I don't drink. But it wasn't for long and it marked my close friend changing his job after twenty years.
I am returning to the cinema to watch two or three today as well before meeting a newish DJ from Jam Radio to discuss a roadshow he wants to put on in the summer.
I've been having thoughts about being nearly forty years old over the last few weeks but I'm happy to report that there's a voice which tells me I'm spreading myself thin over all my radio and paranormal stuff along with the cinema visits and seeing my boy, and that makes me feel like I'm living my life to the full. This is wonderful that I feel I'm utilising my time well and makes me want to keep doing it. Hearing my friends talk of not having done anything with their evenings was understandable to me but not something I currently suffer from. I said I didn't really do much different to them but that it did sound like I did when I spoke about it.
I've declared the first week of every month a FILM WEEK where I can only watch films and no tv series in a bid to finally watch 365 films in 2013. I think I saw 330 in 2012.
After Sunday I have work and then my son, followed by a Monday night paranormal investigation in Bingley which means ill be shattered on Tuesday. Still , its better than doing nothing.

Pizza breakfast

I did indeed finish off yesterday with watching Lincoln. I didn't fancy it particularly and while I 'went along with' the first half I really connected with the second half and even got a bit choked up by the end.
Once concluded I called at Asda for a 14" pizza, half of which I ate then and half of which I brought to work the day after.
So that brings us to today. I ate half of the half at 8am leaving me with a chicken tikka pizza breath but also a big smile on my face.
I shall enjoy the second quarter in an hour as I slightly work over.

I'm looking forward to a productive weekend hopefully. The usual plate spinning which keeps me calm. I hope to luxuriate in every aspect of my interests and swim in my sons imagination.
I posted The X-Vengers League post on here and also on Facebook and have received positive feedback which has prompted me to write a second one next week. I am flirting with the idea of doing a couple of photos for Instagram too for a bit if fun so people know who's who.
I so look forward to the spring.