Self empowerment

My evening was taken up with playing two player KNACK with my son on ps4 and then playing KNACK VS AVENGERS as ourselves throwing cushions at each other. I put him to bed and sat in my bed reading. Being in bed makes me tired so it wasn't long before lights out. I gave him breakfast in bed as usual and took him home to finish his week off school with his mum. I was very happy to be asked to have him both Friday and Saturday nights this weekend. He was too. 

We have plans to play DRAGON ISLAND which is a game we are going to make up with his toy dragons, pirates and my bed cover. 

Work today has been one long job which will take me into overtime for sure. I look forward to being able to put my headphones on when everyone else has gone. But until then I'll keep whipping out my iPod touch and writing bits and bats as Starey Stareson (a guy at work) watches me trying to make me feel guilty. I don't feel guilty as my machine is printing as I write- therefore I'm working. 

I feel good inside and yet can feel my face hang in a miserable fashion as always. There seems to always be a disconnect between my new found happiness and my facial muscles. But then there's also a revolt happening to my body hair which I'm personally against. My chest hair has many white ones now, my nose hair wants to be seen, I have several eyebrow hairs which are fatter and more unruly than the rest and my forehead seems to be moving higher up. 

I don't like looking at myself in the mirror as I feel it's cheating on me. 

I feel better but my body looks worse. 

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Well it's overtime right now and I'm fuelled by Pearl Jam, Puddle Of Mudd and Embrace amongst others. Oh and caffeine. It's dark outside and I'm alone but this is like a second home to me now. Plus since I've done a handful of paranormal investigations here, I feel I know the ghosts on a first name basis. I'm safe. 

It's gonna be a later night than I at first thought due to printing complication but it's cool. When I get paid it'll all be worth it. 

Just enjoyed a lovely self hug whilst having a sway dance with myself. With no lover to hug me I guess it's up to me to love me. So I wrapped my arms round to my back and it felt lovely. That's weird isn't it. But fuck it, it felt great. I felt so much more empowered by myself that I'll do it more often. Self congratulation is a stranger to me. Hell, any congratulation is foreign to me.