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Monday, 30 June 2014

July 1st 2014

Last night I had a longer evening with my son at his grandmas, with the place to ourselves due to his mum getting a prom suit for my stepson. The sun was out and we were play fighting in the back garden and playing hide and seek. I had a coffee at tea time which seemed to fuel my brain, making it hard to be tired until gone 11pm. 

This morning I'm shattered. But it's day 2 of trying to 'look' in a good mood so I'll have to keep my chin up. It's a lovely sunny morning but strangely that made me write a note to self to check heating still works. If it goes unused all summer it may not work in autumn. 


Sunday, 29 June 2014

New version 2014

Hi, you don't know me. I'm new to this world. I look like that miserable looking bloke for sure but I'm happier in the facial area. I'm glad to be alive each day and live a stress free life. I like my job and have so much to be thankful for. I see life as a challenge and have learnt to roll with whatever hurdles life throws rather than lamenting what could have been. I have nothing to complain about and understand that complaining doesn't change anything but acceptance does. 


I don't know what version of me this is but let's call it V 39.9. 

Keep your opinions to yourself

I went to Haworth with my step daughter and she enjoyed painting a cup and talking about her planned route to uni. It's good to still get some time with her before South Hampton steals her away. I had a while to kill before cinema and so I walked alone around Ogden water thinking of my son who had gone to Blackpool for the day. I then slowly drove to McDonald's for a bite to eat in preparation for watching CHEF at cineworld. The new allocated seating is shit.

As Coldplay sang on my van radio, the clouds looked beautiful with the dying sun behind them. My eyes leaked a little as I thought how much I loved my child. I think my sadness is still based in the judgement which has been levelled at me via work. 

My face just doesn't know how to show how happy I am inside? Maybe I should do what THE JOKER does and paint a fucking smile on my face just to keep others from telling me I'm unhappy. 

It's odd how a billion people haven't said anything to me and one comment has got to me. Does it matter? Not at all! 
Does it still hurt? 
YES. 

Another re calibration

As much as I see myself as reborn somewhat by the end of my marriage and my relocation to Silsden in 2011, I think surrounding people don't see it. After the judgement from a customer on Friday whilst delivering, I still feel hurt by the matter. It is a constants voice in replay in my head every few moments and I answer back in different ways but non of it does any good. I am seen as moody person even when I am just staying quiet and out of the way. 
It seems steps must be taken to be happier on the outside, to lift the shutters, if you will, so that I shine my inner peace to others. 
As much as the situation bothered me deeply, I have to take my own advice and look forward to the things which I can alter and not back at things I can't. I can't time travel back to Friday and let them be the miserable cunts alone. 

I must defend myself with a shield of positivity and let their negative actions be of no consequence. 
Today I've watched OITNBlack and 'The Soloist'. It inspired me to write a little but as I tidied up I found loads of blank pads and saw It would be of no help to go and buy another new writing book no matter how cheap. 
I also woke with the idea to paint and yet by midday I've kinda lost the belief in myself. 
I think I'm too hurt to paint. This will fade as all things do. 
This afternoon I'm taking my stepson to Cobbles And Clay where we can drink coffee and chat as she paints something. 
I have seen how difficult I am and I think that's what bothers me. I've always known it and hated it but to see it again afresh is a slap in the face. 
I just need to do things as and when I need to do them. Sometimes silence, sometimes specific things. 
I'm trying to simplify my life from July as I turn 40. To use what I have and not yearn for new stuff so often. I have so very much that I shouldn't need another thing. There's water in the tap and a selection of things to cook. 
I have much much more than most. 

I guess I'm going back to square one and learning from the many lessons once more. 
It's all plate spinning as I balance the important things around me. I'm not invisible- I affect the things around me whether I want to or not. 
I will try to shine even if it's just a dull glimmer. 



Friday, 27 June 2014

Harsh and unfair judgement by customer.

Friday morning broke and after a shower I left to go delivering for work which was a nice easy start. It was Friday, I was driving and singing along to my music. My second delivery of the morning was at a place where the car park was far away from the reception but luckily I'd brought a trolley. Hurrah. 
I started to put the boxes outside of the reception under a sheltered part as the weather was wet. I was going to move all of the boxes to this area before entering the reception with all of them together. However as I returned with the next trolley load, a man was carrying them off inside himself. He never acknowledged me with a hello and so I just said "there's three more to bring" as I set off back to the van. When I entered there was just a pretty girl with her back to me who seemed to be getting on with the work. I started bringing the boxes inside and when I was finished said "are you ok to sign this or do I need someone else?". She signed it and I thanked her and left. It's true that I didn't say goodbye and neither did she. I had a third drop at a school to do before a got back. When i got to work my boss collared me and asked for my opinion on an e mail from the middle customer who along with complaining about the job being printed wrong, had a pop at me for having a bad attitude and not being happy in my work. 
I was shocked. I wracked my brain over what I'd done and I found nothing. 
The more I thought about this slur, the more annoyed I got. 
I said I would return after work and apologise but state it was misjudgement on their part. 
My boss said I wasn't allowed, I just had to take it on the chin. 

I was judged harshly and had no way of speaking for myself plus this email could have put my job at risk- they didn't now that it did not. 
Well, needless to say, I've been wound up since but was in a good mood until that happened. 

The whole thing sucks and I can't do a thing about it. 

Thursday, 26 June 2014

Time is all I need (not love).

10:45pm. There's so much 'bad' in the world, that I find it quite overwhelming. I wish my way of dealing with it was better than simply ignoring it. But then, one person can't make it all go away. I've had a quiet night in front of the tv tonight but I've still been educated in some way. The world still finds it's way in to my home and into my head. 
I worry sometimes that my life isn't progressing as far as experience and such but tonight I can see that it is. 
I am doing things that I will look back on and hopefully have happy thoughts about. I feel good (if you ignore the prickly heat on my wrists especially). 
I'm always making slight adjustments to my life, often due to the influence of something I've recently watched or read. At this moment I'm wanting to reduce my waist size and cut my sugar intake down. It always seems an easy task after I've chomped a packet of sweets or biscuits. It's always tomorrow that I'll start eating better or exercising more. 
How many times have I dreamed of sitting down and writing a story. I write this blog and my diary easily enough but can't seem to devote enough time to switching the tv off for long enough. 
But then, what are my strengths? 
Watching films is my strength. I can consume film after film all week long if I put my mind to it only a little.  
Mondays have turned into a 'tv off day' after I've had my son. I get my writing done for PPS. Sundays are cinema days and Thursdays are PPS investigations at times. Everything is a balancing act. 
What I actually need is some overtime again. Something to balance the books easily. 

But as ever....what I need most......is TIME. 

Thursday June 26

It's a Thursday afternoon as work draws to a close. The weekend can be seen from here if you stand on your top toes. 

I return to my film watching tonight after Watchdogs drew my attention elsewhere. My lime juice continues to aid my prickly heat trouble. 

I'm just the right side of busy now. I hope to find time to read again soon and I've not watched Orange Is The New Black for a good week. 


I've hopefully got a chance to investigate the house from WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT in July. I have many investigations arranged for the rest of this year actually. I may be burnt out by the end of it. 


I'm looking forward to a good sit down when I get home tonight. My body feels heavier than normal. Maybe it's a lack of coffee energy. 




Tuesday, 24 June 2014

New day.

Hopefully, after that sleep, my coffee free day won't leave me so tired. Lime juice all day today and I'm wearing a long sleeved top to stop prickly heat worsening. 

Once again I'm on top of PPS reviewing and I also made further headway with my secret ghost project by getting a date almost set for it. Can't say more. 


I have my son tonight and it's always the highlight of my week. Life is good. Even my son turned to me in the van recently and said "I love life". Quite a statement for one so young. 

2014 already. These are my last few weeks of being 39. I'm ready to be 40 as I feel more confident and able to cope with life. 

I surprise myself. 


Ps4

Finished watchdogs 4 bonus content missions and found the evening almost over. Still time to play Warfrane though. 

Less prickly

My prickly heat was itchy as heck lady night. Then I learnt that drinking coffee makes it worse. Today I'm drinking like juice as suggested online and it does feel better although it's possibly only a placebo so far. 

No coffee today. That,  has me dizzy with tiredness though and a headache doesn't feel far away either. 

I reviewed two hours of Utley investigation last night and so now have a write up to finish tonight before I watch a film. 

No word from my ex radio friend. I take that as a sign that my return to radio is unwanted. 


Monday, 23 June 2014

A decision to keep busy.

I've had a wonderful spate of picnics this summer and it continued with my son and I having one at Yorkshire Dales Ice Cream where we visit regularly. The sun brought out my prickly heat condition unfortunately but not terribly. 

We made 2 items at Cobbles And Clay in Haworth and I may have already spoken about that so I'll end it there. 

I had my stepson from Saturday afternoon until late Sunday night. 

We walked to Kildwick in hot heat after finishing Watchdogs campaign. We too went to Cobbles And Clay and my stepson painted a cup. In the evening we attended the opening of a new bandstand in the park where people I knew from my time at jam-radio did the sound and some played in the couple of bands on. It was a good end to a good weekend. 

It's led on to me wondering about a return to the world of radio for me. I'm waiting to see if the idea entertains them first. 



Friday, 20 June 2014

2014....40 going on 80.

Our PPS team meeting went well and hopefully some renewed passion will spread to the other team members. We have lots ahead of us this year and hopefully some fascinating evidence will be caught. 
Today, after I collected my son from school on a viciously hot afternoon, we walked around Ogden Water, held a frog and ate fish and chips from silsden fisheries, just next to the duck pond before finishing them in my yard. 
As the sun starts to dip in the sky, my boy plays Jax and Daxter on the ps3 after re-downloading it. 
It's been a wonderful run of sunshine lately and we've created some good memories. 
Tomorrow I have my stepson staying again and this time I expect we'll go somewhere other than the cinema.

I'm so glad to say that everything is still going good. I have a lot of reviewing and writing to keep on top of with the ghost investigations. Turning 40 is no problem when you are happy with your lot. 
Enjoy it, as you'll soon be 80. 

Sunday, 15 June 2014

Weeknd changes

On Friday my son and I went straight to Haworth from school and walked down to Cobbles And Clay which is a cafe where you can paint pottery and then get it glazed. My son had a voucher from his aunt who joined us with his grandma too as we painted. He made a car with two distinct sides, one fire the other lightening. He also made me a cup for my birthday this year which said 'May your 40th be with you'. His aunt actually works there but it was a day off for her actually. The rest of the evening we played ps4 a bit and watched a film which has escaped my mind. 
Stories at bedtime and then I played Watchdogs. 
Saturday was planned around going swimming and it was an hour before that he declared we weren't going this week. 
Instead we played board games and as us being characters along with Angry Birds toys before leaving the house for the only time that day to collect a ps2 we were borrowing to play a bionicle game I'd bought him in the belief it would work in ps3. I should've known it wouldn't. We watched Finding Nemo and ate pizza and crisps before returning to ps2 for Jax 2. Sunday morning broke and we continued our Jax 2 save as the rain fell outside putting a dampener on our plans to return to St. Ives, Bingley. 
Today is great having him next to me as I don't normally see him on a Sunday. We had said today would be a day outside but it's looking less likely now. Maybe we'll have a tent base inside day. He'll be glad that we can now take a games machine to Grans on Monday whatever. 


Thursday, 12 June 2014

St. Ives, Bingley.

My son and I called at St. ives, Bingley on the way home, after a road diversion threw is past the rear entrance. I'd been meaning to reacquaint myself with the place ever since January when our ghost team almost got to investigate. 

I hadn't been here since I was about 15. I was fully hormonal, with the world ahead of me, back then. 

Now I was a dad bringing my 6 year old. Still single though. A massive amount has occurred between visits in my life and quite a bit has changed at St. Ives. The once mighty play area is now much mightier and larger than it once was. It contained the main points of my memory though, it just seemed different than I imagined it had looked. 


In short, it was lovely and my boy thought the play bit alone was great. We plan to return and explore further, especially the cafe. 


Long hot summer evenings catching sticklebacks with a net fade. Here's my chance to share similar adventures with my own son. 



Tuesday, 10 June 2014

York investigation June 2014

7TH JUNE 2014.
35, Stonegate, York.

I arrived at the location with Sue Sharpe and soon we were with the assembled punters, most of which seemed like first timers rather than members of a similar team as we were. The walk around presented a stereotypical haunted house with dark wooden rooms and the signs of age which make for a spooky place to be. The first thing of note was the way in which the floors and walls were sloped terribly and this makes standing still leave you feeling dizzy and off balance. Naturally reports of 'feeling drunk' had occurred previously and the house itself split in to two distinct halves- warm rooms which seemed to suffocate oxygen and cold rooms which left you feeling the change of temperature strongly. It was no surprise to me that the sweat from one area made you feel clammy in the next area and made your scalp itch for example. This alone would be enough to spook the novice and no doubt delight them to a fashion thinking it was paranormal (which admittedly, it could still be).
Next was the Mirror Room, so called because the walls and ceiling was covered in a reflective material. Sadly not hard mirrors as such but more the flexible mirrors you get in a fun house Hall Of Mirrors. The desired effect was caused though as you faced the walls and saw a slightly twisted version of yourself staring back. There was a claustrophobic sense to this room due to the false sense of their being no door even though you could argue that it's intent was to make the walls seem to disappear. 
Next again was the Mask Room which had it's walls adorned with wooden masks of all shapes and sizes. I had the feeling that this property had been tweaked towards the paranormal fans who paid to enter rather than just leaving it as original. The centuries old property would no doubt have some energies of its own but I gather people need a little help imagining when they pay to a enter a 'creepy house'. 
We end our tour in a dark curtained room with a very large round table at its centre and on top of this table are three small ouija boards- The Seance Room.  I admit I did have a head ache at this stage but put that down to a combination of little air and a lot of once burnt joss sticks. A lady spoke of having goosebumps and her heart raising which resulted in her breathing heavy. Outside this area, this would have been seen as obvious but once you're in a dark haunted location such as this, things take on a ghostly slant. But i'm the first to understand that this is what the public attendants want for their money and I was happy they were having fun. 
I took some base line readings as we reached the cellar and found that they bounced around 2 to 3MG, rather high. I failed to put my equipment in a place where the reading was the normal 1MG level. There were beams over head which had lanterns hanging in the floorless loft space. It was later that Sue had a feel around on the beams and informed me that most has wires attached and so my readings would be suspect to begin with. 
Soon after, in a further room we tried table tipping with a large solid table but in the short time we gave it to work there was no movement- not so much as a creak. Table tipping often requires more patients than even the ouija board for some reason. 
Jenny led something i'd not witnessed before referred to as the 'Human Pendulum'. I was excited, as I do love learning new techniques. This consisted of having one person essentially replace a pendulum in someones hand and just have them close their eyes and sway naturally. In front of the pendulum participant was one person and behind was another, to catch the 'pendulum' before they toppled. Everyone else formed a circle around the middle three persons. 
Many will raise an eyebrow at a glass divination due to the fact that a living person has to have contact with the glass. The same can be said of a hand holding a pendulum itself. On both those practices, the particiapants are requested to not knowingly affect the touched divination tool. Here however, the central person who was stood surrounded by a crowd, in the dark, with their eyes closed was willingly provoked into purposefully extending their swaying either forwards or backwards to signify either a YES (Forward sway) or a NO (Backwards sway). Questions were asked to the volunteers and they provided the answers in the hope of giving way to a form of communication. 
I believe many would raise two eyebrows at this style but is it really anymore unlikely than having spirits affect our emotions or putting images in our heads? The participants enjoyed the test and really that's all that matters. 
Hey, you've got to try what you can after all!

In the seance room i had a base line reading of 1MG. During an impromptu ouija session the K2 flashed and I got a gauss high of 2.5MG in addition to a 2 on the Tri-Field meter which Mike had. Mike was an electrician by trade who went to every GCUK investigation that he could. 
Here's a little of what happened during this session. 
Everyone was sat around the table who were guests and the remainder were stood around the edges of the room not moving. The temperature was 21.5 C. 
The gauss creaked continuously and there was an X-Box Kinnect showering the room with its laser grid which was only visible through nightvision (you may have seen this in Paranormal Activity 4). 
Jenny "Can you touch one of us?" 
A scratch is heard by Kath (GCUK)
The gauss is silent for a few minutes until click...click...click...click.click.click and steadily faster. Energies growing stronger. My recorder captures a bump which is heard by all and a second one follows but this one is someone at the table as it vibrates through my recorder audibly. 
"Is Annie or Margaret here?" there is no response. 
Jenny "We've left something in the attic, if you knock it over we'll hear it down here" The gauss starts to click afresh but no bang is heard. 
Jenny starts to explain to the spirits of the house that the property has been sold and is to be turned into offices...once it has been spiritually cleansed. A silent gauss meter noticeably increases. 
"Let me know if you understand that" The gauss does indeed climb and several ladies report feeling sad and some sob briefly saying "I just felt a feeling of overwhelming sadness". There is a strong boost on the gauss and it seems Jenny gets what she asked for. 
Many of us don't believe a cleansing would work anyway. 
All that follows of note is more gauss fluttering an Jenny reports the kinnect lasers being blocked out by a shadow as she points the camcorder at someones face. 


BACK STAIRWAY OUTSIDE MASK ROOM

The group split into smaller teams and Sue and I choose to head to a back stairway which draws our attention in part due to a previous visit. It also becomes apparent that two other people have witnessed thing here in this unlikeliest area amidst mask and ouija rooms. Since the event was billed as a Tech Night I left my own ouija board at home. This left us improvising and we used a wooden chair with a deodorant cap as planchette in the hope of getting a make shift YES/NO table working. The cap simply wasn't heavy enough to eradicate our lightest of touch. Next we placed our fingers lightly on the chair as a form of table tipping but alas, no movement at all. The gauss wildly jumped here and there though. I should note that one of the walls on one side seemed to have a nightclub on the other side which and we had to become accustomed to the club pound out its awful chart music of the day as we listened for evidence.
Sue saw the K2 flash once behind me and also there was a long gauss shriek but with such large electrical machinery and mobile phones just through then wall, the readings were once again dubious. Except for the notable fact that there were long moments of zero readings too. This suggested that the club wasn't affecting our meters as much as they may have. On the opposite wall we hear a group in the Mask Room introduce themselves to any present spirits and our  gauss meter rises and then falls dead. Had the spirit stepped out of their room and into our briefly? 

It was here that lone investigator Mike meets us properly and he sits with us too as we ask out some more. Sue and I move to the attic and Mike lingers a little to try and catch something on his Tri-Field meter. 


ATTIC.

We set equipment down in the lesser areas of milligauss remembering that this room is highly wired. 
I basically chunter on to an unresponsive room and then Mike joins us as well.  We set four different meters in a sort of diamond shape on the floor. I keep asking for a BLAST on the gauss and after a minute I do get it, but then it continues to be no longer definable as a blast. Sue gets goosebumps which she describes an uncommon and we manage to get a high of 4MG plus hits on both the gauss and Tri-Field at the same time. 
I change tack and request that the lantern above us moves. It does not. 

SEANCE ROOM.

Sue, Mike and I ask for noise or any device affecting. The gauss crackles as I ask and ask but it seems fairly random most of the time. We did achieve a high of 5MG  the time Mike got a headache and we  got pockets of hits on two devices but the only real winner here was tiredness. 


In Conclusion...
It's a great location and the public had a blast but our group had little luck. But this game is like fishing and every time can be different. Plus you can simply just be in the wrong room when stuff happens. Really enjoyed it all the same. 
I heard reports of hits on the Ghost Box as well as masks moving but I wasn't there to pass judgement. 
As ever this is all written from my own personal viewpoint and isn't necessarily the final word on the matter. Go visit for yourself before it closes. 


C whitehouse 2014. 















       

Another paranormal step

My paranormal journey....
I went to York on Saturday night and investigated 35,Stonegate with a PPS member as part of a GCUK event. One way of looking at it is that nothing much happened but I enjoyed myself with the whole experience. Life happened to me. A memory was born and it led to me getting the VIP pass for that team allowing me free access for a year to any investigation. I spent this week start by reviewing and writing up my findings. I also arranged a free seance for a small group of PPS followers in the hole of giving something back to people who chat afford to throw £50 at such things. 
This very evening the PPS leader forwarded an e mail from a journalist on the look for a real life ghost hunter and my name was put forward. I'm awaiting contact from that journo and feel its one more chance occurrence at the right time. 
My path appears as I put my foot down. 
I feel led by some knowing force or set destiny. I don't claim to understand how or why, but it's there. 

I'm looking forward to having my son fri-sun this weekend as his mum drives my step daughter to a uni open day in South Hampton. She's growing up! History is being made. 

I feel life isn't done with me yet and so I better be ready. 

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Social pining?

I arrived home from work and showered as a meatball bolognese pizza cooked downstairs. I sat and threw messy pizza down myself as I watched 'Inside Llewelyn Davis' which I enjoyed apart from the music. I had a call from a friend who decided to visit and I enjoyed our chat as Rdio app played in the background. I told him I didn't miss drinking but I did miss the process of 'going out' socially. He said he'd  give me a shout next time he went out to a pub. I do miss people my own age out in the social scene. I do worry that it means I'm subconsciously looking for a new partner. 

I saw a pretty lady whilst on the way to work and realised that one of the things I don't like seeing is the 'behind the scenes' as they get ready. The part where they roll out of bed scratching their arse etc. I like the mystery. When you're in a relationship, all the mystery is gone. All you're left with is the sleep dribbling, the annoying re-telling of the same stories and sweat. 


Monday, 2 June 2014

Best weekend ever 2014

Mother Shipton's Cave saw my son and I finally arrive on a warm lunchtime at the weekend. My son had asked to go to a wishing well this year and I knew one which had worked for me when I was around his young age. 

The story of a 15 year old girl being ousted by family centuries ago to give birth to a child had become big business around Knaresborough. Now this tourist spot was still successful even though thirty odd years had passed since my visit. 

Cast out as a witch, the baby became a woman who made prophesies of he future, some of which came true and others which didn't. 

Anyway, add to this the fact that the stalagmite juice in the water eventually seems to turn things to stone and became another folklore and you've got a magical place. 

My wish all those years ago had been to have some new toys. A day or two later my neighbour came around with bags of toys which her son didn't want anymore and I believed my wish had come true. 


I took my son to this cave and felt a rush of excitement again as I saw him steadily place his fingers in the water. A new addition was a sheet with clues on for youngsters and when completed, you got a chocolate bar from the cafe. 

I had given up two clues short as I couldn't find the answers but my son demanded we persevered. He was right to do that as we did get the last answers eventually. 

The museum at the end of the trail was heavy on tarot cards and fortune telling related merchandise which rang a bell in me. These days I am in a paranormal team and would have had a huge curiosity over these things hen I first came. I don't remember not being into ghosts. I created my first ghost team in the first school playground. Zero investigating but the thought was there. 


We would have stayed in mother Shipton's cafe for dinner but it no longer did food. Just outside the gates as we took the lovely scenic route home I saw a pub called The World's End (as in the film of the same name- but not THE one). 

It was a great day. Add to this Fridays Legoland trip and then an 8 mile walk on Sunday fuelled by podcasts and I think it may have been my best weekend ever. 



Sunday, 1 June 2014

Lego land

I drove my son to the Trafford centre and showed him the ship part in The Orient. I had built up the sky changing roof too much it would seem. It was underwhelming. There was a Viking exhibition in where bearded men fake fought on stage. 

We walked to the Legoland part and entered. 

When we had to wait for a guide I was a bit nervous. I hate audience participation. Luckily it was only the kids doing it and my son enjoyed his part. We hopped on the short train laser shooting ride where we had to shoot our laser guns at scenarios on projection screens. I don't think they were working properly, at least for the first couple of screens. Then we entered one room where a town was made out of lego. I expected more of this but through the next doors we were greeted with a play area, a cafe and toilets. This was a good 50% of the place. I felt a little cheated. There was a peddle car part too and some side rooms cordoned off for building lego stuff. My son played as I stared at parents. There was some commotion as a child was missing and staff were spreading out through the play area to find him. 

There was a small ninjago laser corridor filled with dry ice which kids had to negotiate without breaking the beams and my boy liked this the most. Finally we left and drove home. The parking had taken twenty minutes of going around and around so I was glad to be out. The centre itself is a great place to hang out. 

The evening was spent playing with his new Hero Factory toy and watching the episode which it was from. 



Then I played Watchdogs till late.