My evening with my son mid week was spent painting his cardboard batcave which we'd made and constructing a new baddie base complete with trapdoor and cage. "This is the best base ever dad" sorted.
We had a good play fight as power rangers too which led up to story time. Once again he kissed me on my cheek and told me he loved me. He is my world.
Once he was tucked up in bed I watched 'Under The Skin' and really enjoyed it. It reminded me of Kubrick.
I caught a reflection of myself as I walked back from The Inbetweeners 2 tonight and if anything thought I looked like a shaven headed stereotypical homosexual, like a jimmy Summerville character. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course, just that I am straight.
I have seen many other people who have gone the route of going bald and surrounding it with their remaining hair, and it's made me slightly wonder if I've rushed in to it too fast. When I think about my bald spot harder, I know I've done the best long term solution.
I've been consumed with thoughts of death again today, like there's nothing left for me as my body is rotting. After the gym though my spirits lifted as I felt the progress of my work. My body is getting towards its best shape ever so that's encouraging. But FUN is maybe something which I THINK I'm missing and I would get that by drinking alcohol again. Or so my brain tells me. But I don't want to. But would my son convince me to start again in years to come ? I'd like to chill out with him over a few pints. Anyways, I have gases to worry about that left. And the way my mind is working, I may never get there.
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