Restart

To start over can be a good thing. I've had many restarts over the years and in different forms. I've evolved in some ways and remained unchanged in others. I take inspiration from all manner of different things. This blog becomes something of a diary when I can't think of anything specific to say and there's been a lot of that lately, but that's wasn't in the mission statement. 

I am 40 years old and live alone. That's statement reads as depressing and yet for the most part, about 90%, it actually describes to me happy things. I've come to learn that I ca reach a joy alone which is impeded upon with others around me. I'm not good at sharing the tv for example. Each hour of my life wasted doing something for others irks me. I'm selfish, true. But I'm honest about that. I like to present myself honestly. I believe I'm not the only one but have seen that society operates on a fake mask of being interested in others. It's a manipulation to get what you want rather than coming out and just saying it. Humans need other peoples 'congratulations'. 

The birth of my son was a defining moment for me but not from the moment he was born. The effects took over twelve months to start because he was just a new bag of skin at first with the magic still wrapped up in his tiny body. He merely represented a glorious thing back then. Now he's my biggest friend and easily proudest achievement. 

My life revolves around he and I. 

One day I'm all about him and the next I'm all about him because I have him on practically a two day rotation. We orbit each other closely. 

The reson for this basic speech is that I 'intend' to make this blog have my experience of life better documented than it has been recently. We'll have to see how that goes. 

It's Sunday today and 7:05am. I'm sat drinking a coffee waiting for the gym to open as I hit the gym at 8am on the weekend. I've pulled a muscle twice so far and I really hope that can be avoided today. Having given up alcohol three years ago and having started the gym 9 weeks ago, I've started to eat much much healthier and drink lots of water. 

My main worry is that in the end I'll drop dead like that Bee Gee's guy did who lived a similarly tee total life. 

But on a day to day basis I feel better about myself and the DEMONS which live deep inside me and starved of energy by not being fuelled by alcohol or recreational drugs. I'm awkward enough without them. 

This afternoon I will be going to a double bill at the cinema as films are my biggest hobby and have been since I can ever remember. I love watching tv series and being whisked away on different adventures rather than say, playing sport or doing things myself. I guess this was why I joined the gym also- to counteract that level of sitting. 

Anyway, for now, here's to the future.......