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Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Fibre optic octopus

Having had internet speed tests bring up results of 0.05 download and 1.50 for upload, I changed to fibre yesterday. I hit speed test and was excited to see 38.0 download and 10.50 upload. 
I uploaded a video to YouTube which I'd stopped yesterday as it said 700 minutes to finish, which is over 11 hours. It now took 40 minutes!! 
God I was overjoyed. I became a fibre broadband octopus with an upload on my PC, netflix on Tv and imdb research on iPad. Nothing struggled and I was so happy. It's really gonna be a change to my entertainment section of my life. I've had to leave vids uploading over night and not been able to use internet at the same time till now. 
I've added my current weight to my app to see I've gained one stone since March this year. Now I feel it's time to start cutting gently to burn off fat for summer. I'm feeling good. 
My son has a school trip this week and Xmas is getting closer. I'm looking forward to breaking up I must say. Although work is absolutely fine. 
Our ghost teams have closed for the year and so I can chill. I hope to catch up with many cinema releases this weekend and so I'll enjoy that. 

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Now

The rain just keeps on coming but it's feeling like Xmas ow that December is under way. I think it's been a hard time for society recently with all the suicide bombings. My works van is due to be fixed tomorrow and so I may have to pay out loads for taxis. My friend in my ghost team has paid for us to investigate Armley Mills in January so that was very generous. Other than that, I'm all wrapped for Xmas and have for days wait left until fibre broadband. Yay. 
My nephews and step son turn 18 this month which is quite a historical moment in a way. 
I'm enjoying life. I love my time with my son and hope to make the most of our time. 

BREAKING NEWS
lady C is out of in a celeb on medical grounds. Yay!!! 

Monday, 23 November 2015

In da pub

It's 1:30pm on a Sunday and I'm in a Wetherspoons. I've not been a drinker for five years and my beer is non alcoholic but it still feels like I'm having a beer in the pub. It's semi strange. I've just watched The Hunger Games last film and I am heading to the gym at tea time. It's a relaxing day on the whole.    
I thought I was itching to sit in a pub in the hope of meeting someone new but now I realise it was just to chill. 
I'm gonna record some videos for my YouTube channel this aft and I can't wait for my fibre broadband to be switched on. 


Thursday, 22 October 2015

Friday. Dawn of the weekend.

It's Friday once again. Today, my son is going to his friends house to play. This is the first time he's ever been to a friends and left there. He's apprehensive about not having an adult he knows nearby but of course he'll be fine once he's there. 
I have an investigation at a pub at 8 am on Sunday which is pretty early. Plus on the previous night I have a social gathering with my actual friends. That's a big deal to me as it's the first time in nearly five years that I've been in a drinking environment with people my own age. I'm excited. 
But first, I have my working day to do. 

Sunday, 18 October 2015

Sitting Sunday and cinema plus the magic of mushrooms.

I've said that I've been thinking about drinking etc of late. This Saturday night I had magic mushrooms fall into my hands. I've done them before and had a strong effect from them. This was years ago you understand. 
A part of me was curious to do them again and yet a large part felt I was too old to put my body through such torment. What if I had a heart attack or they poisoned me? In the end, I stirred them in a yogurt and down the hatch they went. This time I'm made provisions for any eventuality. I felt a heart flutter and the old feeling in my nasal passage which lsd used to create as a teen. But it never really took off. I went to bed ok and on time with a sense of relief and disappointment. Today I've felt a little more alive though. As if I'm living my life rather than watch it slip away. 
I'm feeling a resurgence of who I am socially, or at least who I used to be. 

I had chosen not to go to the gym today in order to let my joints rest up. I spent half the day watching episode 1 of many to series which have all started new seasons. Add in playing on the ps4 and that makes for a lot of sitting down. But I've enjoyed myself. At tea time I dragged myself to the cinema to watch Crimson Peak too. The cinema was quiet and It felt odd to finally be out of the house. 

It's 10 pm and I'm waiting for a Youtube upload to finish so I can start another over night. 

My mind seems to be flirting either the idea of a girl more and more. Not a particular girl, but someone new. I need to feel more alive. I think. I'm not certain. 

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Minecraft story mode release day

Minecraft story mode release day and I still went to the gym before racing home to start making a YouTube play through series. It was surprisingly I interactive by comparison to regular minecraft. My friend came around after his kids were in bed and we had a natter. This friend is married with three kids and is a good example of how busy I'm not. I have much more free time than he does and so it seems daft that I should moan about feeling unfulfilled currently. I'm talking about my considering getting a new partner and social life. 

I think this weekend I'll go sit in a pub near one of my old houses ... And blog. 
See what that stirs up. 

Monday, 12 October 2015

Piece missing?

I think I'm ok. It's hard to tell. The big picture is I'm fantastic. I have a home, a job and the perfect son and we have our full health. But in the microcosm of that bubble I wonder if there's a slight turmoil building. 
I've not drank alcohol for four years three months. But last week I did have six non alcoholic beers. I've also had moments of imagining being in a relationship again. But it would be such a perfect relationship that it's a thing of pure fantasy. 
My trouble has always been that when everything's ok I introduce the one thing which will spoil the quiet. I just want a quiet life. 
I have the quiet life already, so what is this niggle that suggests I'm missing a piece of the puzzle? 

Saturday, 10 October 2015

Sat morn in October 2015

Saturday morning. The other side of my bed contains my little boy who is watching popularMMOS on YouTube as is his current ritual. He is on day two of his yearly cold as summer turns to Autumn. He will be contagious for another day or two. We watched PIXELS last night and so will be play acting that today. My heating is finally on today for my sons benefit. 
I'm laying low on Facebook from cat-lady. An annoying fan. 
I have an eye test next week which I think will show that my sight has got worse. People who stand too close are blurry. I really don't want glasses but it's not the end of the world of course. 
I'm 230 views on my own YouTube channel and really enjoying it. It's so hard to get traffic to it. But if you are interested, check out Robodad1. 
I'm 151 lbs from gym diet and it's going up at the advised rate. 
I know I'm stronger but my joints are holding progress back. 

Sunday, 27 September 2015

Autumn dreams

My dreams are full of broken fragments of eras of my life mixed with feelings of times lost, such as my youth. Ex partners and made up partners weave in and out of the story as a sleep readying to wake. I miss socialising. I miss the buzz of drink but not much else. 
I had a great long weekend with my son and that was precious but should I try and create a partner situation for me? I don't really know if I even want that. If I could cherry pick off a shelf then I would but it doesn't work like that. 
My time at the gym has me up to 150 pounds this week so there's progress happening that I don't want drink to ruin.  
I've been allowing credit card spending to rise again and I've given myself a guilt trip about that so I'm going to be more tight. 
The summer is leaving and Autumn is coming. But what other changes are occurring within me? 

Wednesday, 9 September 2015

Drink drink girlfriend

It's a Wednesday morning. Since 7:15am I've had the strong urge to have alcohol. I've not had alcohol for four years. Nothing is wrong in my life and yet the urge has sprung up. I hope it passes. 
My YouTube channel is building up with videos and my son is loving it too.. Too much his mum says but then she would say that no matter what his favourite thing was. 

It's deathly quiet at work but showing signs of picking up. I'm currently being pestered by a lady over coming on ghost investigations for free. I'm handling it with a painful honesty though. 

My son is shining brighter than ever, but at 7 I fear I'm in the middle of our playing years already. I still enjoy every minute of being with him as we play in a world of our shared imagination. 

Life is good but there's the nagging thought of having a partner again which troubles me. 

Monday, 10 August 2015

August 10 2015

I went with my son to see The Fantastic 4 and he said it was great. But it wasn't. We played at home and then he rounded off by watching YouTube. I had a lot of cuddles from him on the couch which was lovely. He decided he wasn't recording this week. I returned to the cinema for PIXELS and then recorded a bunch of Minecraft videos for my channel. I went to the gym and felt a little faint so stopped my squats. I think I need to do less weight and more reps. My gains are still occurring though. 
It's Monday morning now and I'm ready to concentrate on not messing up at work. I'm so done with making mistakes. 
I'm also enjoying not ghost hunting for the few weeks between investigating. 
I feel like I should be doing some for my team but that would not be doing it for me. 
Ok.... To work I go. 

Friday, 7 August 2015

August 7th 2015

Oh boy, I'm glad this week is coming to a close. My working week had an error on my part during flicking bad ones out of 15000 printing items. I'd left 75 bad ones in. That is few but it still made me look shit. I'm really trying to be more conscientious. My sons and my YouTube channels  are closing in on 50 views each which is gratifying. It's enjoyable although time consuming. My gym diet and workouts are pushing me towards 150 lbs and I feel stronger. 
All is well. All are happy.  Can't ask for much more than that. 

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

YouTube

Hoping to start my sons YouTube channel properly tonight as he records a video about his set up and favourite games. I'm really looking forward to him putting videos of gameplay up. How many 7 year olds do that? 
I'm skint now though after setting it all up. 
I spent his morning trying to help fix a fall out involving my family which I married In to. I was not directly involved by my step son is. 
Fingers crossed this discussion will resolve matters. 
Work is fine. All is well. I have no reason to leave the house these days. 
The gym is going ok again after changing gyms. I'm using an app to calorie count as of yesterday. Now I know if I'm eating enough. 
Let's see if results speed up. 

Thursday, 23 July 2015

So busy

So much going on. My ghost investigations seem to be coming frequently and that leads to much reviewing of evidence. Aside from that I'm concentrating on YouTube where my son and I both have a channel which we are putting gaming vids on. We both really enjoy it. Yesterday he showed his class a bit of a video in I.T. I'm in a really good place mentally at the moment. My gym addiction is still up and running and I'm at a gym now which is a quarter of the price of the last one. As always I'm having to juggle writing, watching films and if poss reading. Not to mention working full time. 
There's also been baby news but I'm not at liberty to divulge that yet. 
This weekend it's my first Comic Con visit which my son and I are gonna love. 
Everything's rosy and I'm struggling to blog. I apologise. 
My recent birthday went very briefly as it was colder than expected in the beer garden. The pub now has an 'eat only' policy so there's nowhere to just sit and chat inside. New venue next year I think. 

Wednesday, 15 July 2015

To summarise

To summarise....my son and I went to York for my birthday and played Warhammer. We are going to try and go to a few free classes and continue it. Most of all though, my boy wants to start a YouTube channel of his gaming walkthroughs. I've ordered headphones and a capture device. I'm looking forward to that. Im keen to get him creating. 
The paranormal convention is behind me know and my part certainly went well. So that's a memory I've gained. 
This weekend I'm investigating Wycoller ruin with PPS. I'm still mad for my NEW gym and I'm about to start a new programme. Time is much less free these days but that's what it's all about. Comic Con in over a week too which will be our first one. Lots to look forward to. My son and I are living it up.  

Tuesday, 30 June 2015

End of June 2015

The temperature this week is meant to be 33 degrees in Leeds. This is a record in my lifetime I think. There's global warming for you. I've not had prickly heat yet this summer and hope to avoid it totally. But I still can't help but love the bright start to each day. 
I dreamt of my youth last night and walking the streets with my friends. The only difference was that it was snowy. It's been decades since we've been able to do this for real and I miss it. I guess it's the same forever everyone and I'm luckier than most with how much free time I have both at home and in a way, at work. 

Monday, 15 June 2015

Health can kill

We went to play Jurassic Park at Shibden Park in Halifax on Saturday. The late afternoon sun shining through the trees cast a glow on my son's smile. 
It was nice playing out together. 
On Saturday I went to my sister in laws 50th birthday and I stayed among the alcohol drinkers until 11pm where upon I had to leave. It's difficult being sober among drunks. 
On Sunday I woke up far too early and had no carbs with my egg breakfast. This led to me almost collapsing at the gym again. Instead I made it home and went to bed for an hour. God I felt awful. Don't workout without carb energy. 

I simply played Dragon Age for hours afterwards.  

I genuinely thought I may die from blacking out or heart attack while at the gym. 
I felt terrible. 

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Today

What an easy start to a working day. I've had to drive to Wakefield and wait for the place to open. So I've been able to tackle my podcasts for a bit. I'm slowly putting weight on from the gym which I'm happy about. 
My son will be getting the figures he bought with some birthday money tonight so I'm looking forward to that. 
The warmer weather's here in general but it's cloudy today. Not that you care. 

I'm trying to read the book THE MARTIAN before the films out. I'm also midway through the review of our last investigation. 
Lots of work to be done. 

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Quantum blues

As the large hadron collider is switched on again after a two year hiatus, the news on parallel universes increases and I continue to read Physics books trying to get a grip on it. The world is a construct of our consciousness it seems. Just as I see the best evidence of paranormal phenomena, the reality itself is brought into question. 
Today I also heard a record which brought back memories of my ex and the pain in my stomach really cut. There was no longing for her as such, it was just the past and the now rubbing up against each other. I guess the real hurt was the passing of time and no one to hold me now. 
I feel I've still got a lot to give but when I look in the mirror I just see death. 
I'm still happy in me though. But then I don't have to look at me. 
Maybe I can jump to one of these parallel dimensions and swap with another me, one who is better looking and long of hair and heavy on wit. 

My son is giving me more and more pleasure as his waffling becomes more clever and interesting. When I look at him I can't help but grab him and cuddle him hard. I'm lucky to have him. 

The warm weather is almost here now and so I grab my lime juice and close the curtains. 

Tuesday, 2 June 2015

Life's too busy to put down on paper right now.

I totally see to be out of the habit of blogging this year. I blame the gym mostly along with just writing other things. I have much less time from the gym workouts and have little energy afterwards. Even my movie watching has reduced a lot. I'm seeing some gains again though as of today after stuffing my face with foods. 
It was just recently my beautiful sons 7th birthday. We went swimming at Sandcastle at Blackpool last weekend which was fun. He had a great weekend so that was pleasurable. We love each other so much. 
I'm not managing to see a great deal of Emily and Connor these days as they sometimes don't even live at home.
The weekend just passed I finally saw evidence of the paranormal which I found utterly bewildering and therefore extremely exciting. I now know there's either spirits or possibly a kind of group telepathy at play.
2015 has been a great year so far. 
I also met in person, the only object of desire I've seen since the end of my marriage and was left cold. She was lovely but just the height difference stopped me in my tracks. This was before she even said she had no integration in me. She doesn't need a short, bald, old guy as her beau. 
I also realised that I was scared of giving away even an hour or so of my own spare time outside of seeing my son and so that conclusion feels wonderful to be aware of. I need only my kid. 

I'm writing a story about a haunted house here and there for a friend still and enjoying that. I have a few investigations to write about too which I don't really have the time to do. 
Life so just a busy thing right now. Plus we have the paranormal convention approaching too. 
I'll try and write more as I go. 


Thursday, 21 May 2015

Paranormal may

I see time marching forward in the way my hair is now a grade 1 all over, the fact my son is almost 7 and the muscle weight I've put on over the last ten months. Each day is another drip less from my bucket. 
I'm happy but exhausted from investigations, overtime, gym and acting with my boy. I sleep well though too. 
With the paranormal convention coming, I'm constantly wondering what to discuss on the night. But I'm excited about it rather than nervous. 

I'm trying to get our team ghosthunting again and learning from what we find. There are so many teams in action that I've no interest in competing with them.  I just don't know how many are genuinely learning from it. 

Early night tonight due to tiredness headache. 

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Can't complain

I'm finally getting some writing done. I'm sending a chapter here and there to a lady whose a friend of mine and always inspires me to make an effort with things. Because I know someone is reading this tale, I feel spurred on to finish it. I'm enjoying it so far. Also we hope to have a couple of great locations to investigate soon ghost wise. 
I'm being rather creative of late. 
I almost weakened last night and got Sky for the 33% off deal but couldn't decide on movies or box sets. Both packages totalled £25 and shows that it's worth quitting sky for a year to get a better deal. Anyways I didn't choose and went to bed instead. 
I hit the gym of course today and worked to failure with lesser weights to give it the fullest rip. I'm making progress with my bulk this time and am looking forward to my first cut in a couple of weeks. 
With any luck, I may even get to meet the object of my obsessions of late, a girl who I've become me smitten with may be coming on an investigation. It's up to the heavens to steer that one.


Things are good. But I do have less day now that I get my muscle building sleep in favour of staying up.
I guess that's the compromise you have to make. 

A quiet life means it's all going well. 
Can't complain. 

Thursday, 7 May 2015

Don't believe the hype.

Today I saw the proposed poster for the paranormal conference which will be happening as part of the Keighley Festival 2015 and it had my name in large letters at the top. This is due to my team mate being the one creating it. I'm touted as some sort of paranormal expert and it had me straight on with messaging him back saying it was a joke. Nobody is an expert in the unknown-how can they be, it's unknown! I know that he was just trying to make it look good but my team mates where mentioned much further down and in tiny type. Obviously, there was a tiny bit of me which s that it made me look good but for the most part I saw it as damaging to me with the thought of everyone seeing through it. I did the give it my blessing at all and asked to be put alongside the team but he refused saying I deserved the accolade and even when I sent it to a friend privately to moan about it, she also said it was something true. 
Now I know why I hear people say they fear being found out. It also makes me see how easy it is to have others believe what they read. It's all in the marketing. 
Now that the poster has been officially advertised, I guess it's out there so to speak. I just hope I don't get called out on it. 
That said, I did screen shot it for the sole purpose of a memento, seeing as how it'll never happen again. I shouldn't fight it really, but it has no factual basis. 
Things are going well though it seems. I have kept up with my paranormal blog so far and I'm planning a ghost story in private for a friend. Maybe that will be the one story I write in my life. 
I had some overtime to do today and my cold subsided enough for me to go to the gym which I was very happy about. After the few days rest I was shocked to see I'd increased in strength and not weakened. That gave me a buzz. 
I have much to write in these next few weeks and hope to get my head down while the inspiration takes me. 

I'm happy in myself but still have my inner demons lurking beneath the surface. Without having a partner I don't see my bad side at all really. It's only as soon as I interact with others that I see my differences. 
God I'm trying to be the best ME I can be. I find my son to be an inspiration day after day. He has a wonderful way of 'rolling with it' which has become my mantra. Happiness is always out there, you've just got to seek it out in each moment. Plus there's still time for anger and bad vibes if used constructively. I channel my anger in the gym as I blast hatred led music into my ears as I lift weights. It's cathartic. 
And isn't life just about using all your tools correctly? 
A place for everything and everything in its place. 

Friday, 17 April 2015

Times ticking on (April 2015)

Once again my time has made blogging pretty difficult. I've had a full week of overtime intermingled with my son. I've also still gone to the gym even though it's been till 9:30. I'm even working on Sunday this week but it's all about the money. In a week that Daredevil TV series hit netflix, I managed to only watch the first episode and that was in two parts. I discovered the new Wombats album and loved it and didn't get to play any of Dragon Age Inquisition. 
Things are going well in a very quiet manner but I'm still watching my emails for a reply to my Spooky Isles application. 
My son has had us playing endless versions of spider-man, symbiote or deadpool crossed. Easter is out of the way now and I did my best to not eat chocolate so much.
I'm looking forward to getting my haircut again and feeling stronger from working out.
The weather is a sunny 14 degrees and it's a Friday! So all is good. 

My obsession has died out with a girl who's a friend of a friend. It felt nice for a few days and made me realised that my feelings were dormant and not dead. 

I'm an early adopter of PERISCOPE app too but my iPod touch camera is freezing causing me to not be able to make videos myself. 


 

Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Sunday, 29 March 2015

Gym and the new love fantasy

I'm becoming more and more like a gym machine. My eating habits are becoming streamlined and regimented to give me the best results. Putting on muscle mass is central to my thoughts at the moment. It's a shame that only I get to see the results in a way. But then I'm doing it for myself. I'm still enjoying the gym sessions which I'm glad about. Who would've thought that clean living could be so much fun? 
Today I'm visiting my aunt for tea after I go to the cinema. The warm weather had teased us but it seems wet again. Easter is nearly upon me and I'm looking forward to having my son more over that period. 
I do love Sunday's. 
One other thought going through my mind is about a girl, yes, a girl. It's more of a fantasy really about a girl mate of someone I know. As soon as I saw a photo on facebook of this person, I was smitten. She glowed somehow in my eyes. Nothing else would've come of it but days later my mind still showed her face. I went back and scrawled back to that fb photo and then sent a message to the friend I know saying how 'super pretty' this girl was. I was surprised when the friend said "why don't you join us for a walk on Sunday and meet her" 
"Not a chance" I said. "She deserves better than me". 
The thought suddenly terrified me. This girl wouldn't look at me the same way at all! it was ridiculous in the real world but in my own mind I'm in love with the idea. 
As you know, my mindset has been that I'm done with partners as that ship has sailed and always brought pain. 
I'm nearly forty one, short and bald, and I don't think even putting on muscle will alter how shit relationships are. 
I'm still hopeful that fate will intervene but not knowingly believing for a second that it will. 
Still, it's nice to feel warm inside at the thought of a new love, fantasy or not. 


Thursday, 26 March 2015

March and muscles

Ah an early morning in March, a nice fresh.....no wait!.....it's bloody freezing. 
There's sleet dropping from the sky. 
Doh! When is the warmth coming? 

The afternoon brought sun eventually though. I have a couple hours left before I hit the gym. Heavier and heavier squats each visit. My own scales arrived at work today marking weeks of weighing myself to log weight gain. I'm looking forward to easter holiday with my son and then it's a couple of months to my sons birthday. I'm feeling good in myself and think I'm balancing my interests correctly. 
I guess a family visit isn't too far ahead just to balance that area up. 


My workout went well but there's always one interaction with some guy I think is being a dick. There's always someone tossing a dumbbell down or even their own drink just so someone notices. 
Today there were  a couple lads who were sat right under the end of the barbell on the squatting area. Just obnoxious. 
I am very happy that I managed to work out so well without injury. 
I think I'm learning. 


I watched the new Cinderella movie and really did not like it.  I moved on to Defiance on Amazon instead- more my kind of thing. 

Sunday, 15 March 2015

Ok alone.

I've just not had enough time to gather my thoughts long enough to blog properly on top of working over, hitting the gym and keeping up with media. I'm not complaining because my life is full but it bothers me I'm not logging it. 
My main focus is that I'm ten stone and doing a 5x5 workout but I'm not gaining weight and haven't for two months at least. I've started to do two milkshakes with oats, peanut butter and a banana in a day in the hope of seeing a change. 
I have paranormal bits to do but don't have a proper investigation planned until May. 
My son and I continue to play act stories we create and he even started a Destiny save yesterday. He's growing up. He told me to stop giving him a kids knife and fork this weekend. Maybe I try and slow his growing up. 
 
I'm still living life without friends around me. This is half my own fault. I have to admit that I'm not lonely but I do see that it's odd. My boy keeps me in touch with my path. 
As spring nearly is here I feel great about this year. 
I simply don't have time for a girlfriend. 
Hey..why did i even say that? 

Monday, 9 March 2015

Well I've started another blog page with the best intentions. It's somwhere to explore my experiences from my paranormal work. If you want to check it out, head to Http://whitehouseparanormaljourney.blogspot.co.uk Or don't...what evs.

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Pinch me

Now that Stuart Torevell has also followed my personal WHITEHOUSE INVESTIGATION's Facebook page I feel like I'm actually dreaming. He only follows three teams, one of which is Most Haunted related and the other two, I'm in. 
It's got my fellow investigators pumped up. 

It really is like following the yellow brick road over the horizon. 

The gym went slowly again but I felt I'd done something more worthwhile. I did my first ever 5x5 workout. 
I did an hour of reviewing from Mill Street Barracks investigation and posted audio of my findings. I have my finger in many pies and don't know which will bear fruit first. 

I would write more but I'll bet I'm about to wake up soon. 

Monday, 2 March 2015

Showbox contacts

To get home after work to the that the stars of Most Haunted have messaged me, followed my ghost team page or followed and spoken to me on Twitter gives some indication of what my weekend has been like. Yvette said I had some good ideas and hugged me goodbye. I was still reeling from her recognising me from meeting her last month. 
I had a good chat with all the cast and its led to some pinch me moments. It seems this paranormal work is the right path for me since birth. 
My back is aching again tonight and that frustrates me as I long to be lifting in the gym. I hope this is the last of the snow before spring is sprung. It's becoming a memorable year already. 

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Happy as ever

I've not been to the gym for a whole week due to an injury which came from upping my weights, not warming up enough and bad lifting form. The trifecta of terror. Tonight, I finally feel almost normal again but then I have been practically laid down all evening. Today I received a beautiful product of an item. It was a photo album created by MOSAIC which took selected facebook photos and made a physical album out of them and was directly delivers to me. It's a thing of wonder. 
I've spent this evening watching various tv episodes of various shows trying to ride the crest of weekly new episodes. My life is mostly lived inside my head without the real need for my physical body. I may as well be a brain in a jar. 
Apart from a wobble last week where my ex started divorce chat, all continues to be well. I continue to exist on the quiet and keep out of harms way. Work is busy enough to be satisfying and yet I still get my evenings to myself. I continue to be thankful each day for all I have rather than mourn what I have not. 
My son is still my supernova. 
I give having a new partner about two minutes of my day each day but always decide it's not for me. 
I have nothing to offer a person who cannot also inhabit my brain with me. 
I exist like Pluto, on the fringes. 

Ultimately, I'm as happy as I can be. 





Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Paranormal or not?

After closing at the Dog And Gun pub in Wibsey, I will be setting up our cctv system to try and catch the reason why the pub have called in our ghost team. This pub has been in the radio and in the papers due to their odd lights in the bar area. 
Hopefully we will debunk it as natural. I can't explain what I've seen so far on their footage though. 
We will just let it record overnight. Then I've got a week to review it. 
Paranormal investigations are good but someone has to be accountable for reviewing each bit of evidence minute by minute, piece by piece. Still, I will be the first to see anything of note and that's exciting. 

Monday, 16 February 2015

Optimistic health

My gym workouts have built up to me pushing my maximum weight often and upping an exercise weight each week. I'm still enjoying the gym and today I've entered a new six week cycle which is more slimming than bulking. Anyway this leaves me feeling good and also very tired limbed. So tired that writing a blog too seems like hard work. I've had both step kids over the last week and they are both fine and living their lives. 
My precious son continues to evolve in his brilliance and shines brightly in my heart. 
On a more trivial level, it's a tough time keeping up with weekly tv series plus weekly film releases. But I chose this life. 
My life is ticking along on a very healthy and happy note. I've really nothing negative to add. 
There's so little time in one lifetime. But I try my best to not dwell on it. I'm looking forward to many things this year and its going to be a good one. So far I'm still not drinking.  
I seem to be outrunning my inner darkness and that's something I will stick at. It's at this time of self happiness that a person thinks 'hey I'll get a girlfriend' and then it all goes tits up. 

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Feb 2015

February is underway and the snow has melted for the most part. The cold lingers though like the icy grip of death itself. My legs are aching a hell of a lot from Thursday's leg workout and that makes me happy. 
It's Saturday now and my son is with me, still in bed watching Power Rangers. I have another write up to do this weekend of Pennine Paranormal's trip to 'Forteas' cafe. 
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We went to morrisons cafe on Saturday morning for drink and cake while waiting for the van to have its tracking done. In the afternoon we went to see my friends near Huddersfield. 
After my son got home I too went home and watched Inception. 

Sunday I hit the gym and then watched Jupiter Ascending and Shutter Island. I finished my dictation review of our investigation. 

I'm all straight for the new week ahead. 

Friday, 30 January 2015

Meeting Most Haunted

You know when you arrange a trip out to a place where you have to drive quite far and as the day approaches you kind of can't be bothered going? Well that happened as last weekend came. But I also know that when I'm there and more so, on the way home, I'm glad I went. I returned to Hack Green Nuclear Bunker to investigate alongside GCUK with guests - Yvette and Karl from 'Most Haunted'. 
I went with ex PPS member Sue. When Yvette and Karl arrived we were stood right by the entrance and so it was us who got her warm 'Hellooo', which made me blurt out "Did you get lost on the way?" 
Yvette started to explain about roadworks where they live.... Instantly had this thought of 'Jesus I'm having a chat with Yvette!' 
It as brief but to be honest I could've gone home happy then. I was struck by how pretty she was in the flesh and she was the same height as me. Then I saw Karl who was taller than I expected and also warm and friendly. 
The investigation itself was rather slow but by 2am Sue and could do things our way and so we ran a ouija board session and had family members come through for a group at the board. They were impressed. 
It was a good night in the end since I had my photo taken with Karl and Yvette. 
It was a long drive home and I got into bed at 5:30am 

Thursday, 15 January 2015

Body changes

January is cold and dark, and did I mention cold? I've been very good at hitting the gym hard with a three day split routine which makes me feel like I've been beaten up. My body is growing and defining, that's for sure. My son and I have been playing as ourselves as characters more and more recently. Just us and our imagination is all we need.   
His first front tooth has come out and it reminded me that he will be seven this year. Damn! That's moving too bloody fast- even as I relish each second and make the most of our time together. 
I think I feel more complete than I've ever felt. I feel less apologetic about being how I am. I feel unconventional but sane. 
I have a couple of visits to make this weekend and that should help make me feel part of society at large. 
Friday today. Let the fun begin. 

Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Growth

Growth, both in character and muscle, is what I feel as we start 2015. Internally and externally I'm becoming a better me, or at least, a me who I am happier with. I no longer feel a slave to bad moods or defeated as a person by others around me. I feel strong, bold and have both hands on my steering wheel. This year is a back to basics year. Maybe be a bit more sociable perhaps with such things as visiting friends more. 

This is my aim. 

Sunday, 4 January 2015

A unified idea about spirit

A unified theory to explain the memory of particles and spirits. 

 Planets and stars have the same elements as us. But each planet is composed differently with different sizes and strengths. Mars is red and rocky and small. Jupiter is gassy and large. 
If all the planets collided into one. What would the whole appear like. A mix of all components, yes, but would the largest planets matter be dominant? No, because they are gassy. The smaller denser elements would appear dominant. 
Much like a potato curry. The potatoes are the largest element. But the curry powder is the prevailing factor which dictates the strongest feature. 

I am a mix of my parents cells which retain features associated with them. Some people will say I look like my mum or act like my dad. Others will say my grandad was just like me or even I just "looked like your uncle". 
If the planets are the ingredients and the sun is the nuclear energy which powers us immensely but not forever, then our particles within us are a mix of previously living flavours and yet the power of life (life force/sun) inside us 'generates' new flavours and living cells as well and ALL these particles are further 'flavoured' with our experiences which we live through. Anger, jealously, sadness, joy, being famous, love etc.. 
We have kids and pass on some of our SET to the child. These in turn become influenced by the new experiences of the child but also are still STAINED with where they formally were. Much like a new white pool ball Staines with chalk marks and is never truly white again ...Ever. 
If you soaked the pool ball in curry it would be forever tainted by that feature no matter how much it's washed. 
Our cells are a mix of tainted ones and newly born white ones (although technically colourless really) 

Our spirits too may be coloured much like the appearance of the planets. Mars is orange/red and Earth is white/ blue and green upon first observation but upon closer, more up intricate viewing it's made up of all the intricate colours of everything in our lives such as trees, stone, metals, gems, all colours of paint etc But if earth represented one single cell of your body, it would have properties or flavours or "characteristics" which 'stain' it a certain way. It would be the blue green white cell mostly. 
There are multiple earth like planets in the universe and there are multiple earth cells in our bodies. As well as many many other 'planets' 

Could spirits retain that stain? Is a spirit without a body is like a lingering smell after cooking? Chips smell one way during cooking but Chips that were burnt in the oven have a scent of there very own....a stain of what they went through. 
Is this some explanation of why spirits are seen as coloured? (We have had spirits tell us that we each give off a COLOUR to them, blue green yellow, etc.   It's not standard reincarnation at play, as that requires all the particles to remain in the same arrangement.....but rather, some particles from the lives lived, coloured by experiences which give off a dominant characteristic when they are viewed as a whole like many planets crushed together. 
Our spirits are collective stains existing as a lingering smell can in a newly formed body and can live on after our biology has failed. 
A bedroom has a smell which becomes its characteristic and is made up of what used to be there before it became empty of its inhabitants. 

Could this explain why a spirit retains some memory of things, but may not have a good enough grasp to perhaps answer us as precisely as when it also had a body in which to store and access this information? 



Saturday, 3 January 2015

Midnight round up

After playing and finishing the game Shattered Dimensions where alternative universes containing alternate Spider-men existed, we play acted with us being the characters. Jacobs mum rang to ask if we could change plans of him going home today and have him stay at mine for another two nights. Both these things led to a conversation about the nature of time and reality. 
This led to me suggesting Back To The Future as a good kids film. I was surprised when he agreed to watch it. 
What followed was firstly my surprise at how many swears there are in a kids film rated PG and secondly, how gripped he was by the film. I've never seen him lap anything up so fully and completely. I had to pause it a few times to explain the complexities incase he wasn't following but he was eager for me to hit play again. "PLAY IT, I want to know what happens!" 
That was possibly the best film experience of my life. If we hadn't received that phone call from his mum then who knows when we would have finally watched this film together, if ever. 
I'm not gonna forget this moment for years. 
The film itself seems as dated as expected at first but once they are back in time in the 50's it doesn't really matter. 
I thoroughly enjoyed this film as much as when I was a kid, thanks to my sons enjoyment. 
It's one of the best concepts for a film ever and the last scene of the film almost blew his tiny mind. (Roads?, where we're going, we don't need roads') 
He's desperate to watch the sequel too tomorrow. Personally I remember the sequel as the best one, it's so clever. 

Simply amazing and magical after all these years.