I was playing in the park field with my son and his football. A lady and her small excitable dog also played with their ball. So the dog ended up chasing my sons football and the lady spoke to her dog, "Suzy... That's the little boys ball, not yours". The dog being a dog, didn't speak English and so carried on going for our football, as dogs do. "Suzy, Suzy this is your ball so leave that one alone please". 
Am I the only one who doesn't believe that dogs can recognise words other than the most repeated noises. I can accept that they respond to our words like 'Walkies' and 'Teatime' or something. But if they had a good grasp of English then they would sit and watch movies or read a book. I don't have pets because I don't like them but some people like them and that is fine. But they are not intelligent. 

There has been a break from everything for the past few days, so my Blog has become something that I missed writing. Yesterday was a whirlwind of a meeting at mine for the ghost team. I had eleven things to discuss but one team member was in such a mood that he summed his way through the meeting and made it impossible for anyone to discuss things. What a shame, as he was my only remaining member with a gift. But hey it's a free world and I don't want to hold him back. 
But it left me wanting another day off from human bullshit. So today I'm kicking back again and there's nobody to ruin it.

I woke up with my son in my double bed again and I listened to him breathing. He smells amazing. Any parent will know what I mean. He told me to get up at 7:30am so we played with toys for a while and ended up at the park. 
We went all the way to Ikea for a catalogue which there weren't any of. Then we went to a stall to buy the dragon hand puppet that I have wanted for him since before he was born, only to not find the stall. The PS3 has a fantastic photo gallery layout which gives me the best access to photos that I have ever seen. It dates them all and throws them into piles of what day they were taken etc. I still want some developed but it seems primitive too. 
It was unbelievably hot today and yet I saw the teens and pre teens wandering the streets in summery clothes and yet I knew they would not have sun cream on, I knew that made me sound like a dad. 
I am so very busy nowadays with all sorts of stuff that I feel the days are not long enough. The problem starts if I plan to be  out at someone else's. I have footage to review, pieces to write, books to read, films to watch, music to back up and a house to clean for a start. Plus I'm a dad and I work. I have never been happier though. 

I spent the morning watching a French film and trying to draw something that would become a painting. I felt I had no inspiration when I put pencil to paper. My angst is gone and so is any inspiration. Calmness can be a killer. I was asked to pick my son up two hours earlier and it was my pleasure. We played with toys and acted roles out. I gave him his bath and told him I loved him as he was wrapped in the towel like a baby. 
I played PS3 online again until tired. Tomorrow I am playing it with a friend too. 

June 30th will be the one year anniversary of this Blog site. My life will have gone from broken to fixed. I took control of it and amazingly there seems to be little damage done to anyone else. By then I will have had 2,500 page views. All that, even though I have nothing to say. 
 However..
After work I enjoyed a couple of pints with a workmate and a chat in the pub. After that we went to mine and loaded up the ps3 to play Black Ops online. My mate was quite an education for me in a better way to play online. It was always in the back of my mind that I wasn't seeing my son until tomorrow afternoon but on the other hand I tried to make the best of it.  

Today a team member of Otherworld Investigations told me that a man on the train had heard him on the phone to me and explained how he couldn't help but overhear. He is a professional photographer who likes to get inside interesting buildings. He will give us free copies of his pictures if we let him come with us to places. That's a good result.

Www.charleswallerphotography.co.Uk

I enjoyed a couple of films tonight as I sat in my completed house , as regards decorating anyway. I have a couple of new followers on Tumblr today too which is always satisfying. Then I listened to some dictaphone recordings from the last but one investigation. That is the time consuming part. 

HAIR WATCH 2
Once again a revolution has started in my eyebrows. This time there were three hairs,  so the first two had recruited a third member. This follicle alliance was obviously the start of an uprising from the tyranny of laying down flat. But where do they get the ability to double in thickness?. 
It only seems maybe four weeks since I ripped them from the root last time. They stood at one centimetre long like all the others even though the rest have had years to grow. 
It made me wonder why eyebrows decide to not grow and grow like beard stubble. It seems to self regulate the length. 
Hair is untrustworthy. As soon as you turn your back, it plots and schemes it's next move, never sleeping, just waiting until you are not watching so that it can creep over you and one day suffocate you in your sleep. 

Damn those coffees have kicked in and it's nearly midnight. I took my sister to see our Aunt and Uncle tonight. She hasn't seen them for a few years so it was good. I am going to go back and arrange a painting day with my Aunt since she is my creative inspiration. 
The final piece of my house gets put in tomorrow- the bathroom lino. Then I will be left alone. I look forward to just chilling in my completed house for a few days since I have been busy with ghost hunts and other visits. I have all I need at home now so money spending can stop. I spent some money recently and then decoded that I should have spent that money on shopping for tasty stuff and not the cheap range of products. There's a saying that "if you buy cheap, you pay twice" which seems to be true. 
Three ghost hunts coming up and lots of maybes. 
I'm a busy boy. 

I flicked through a copy of Nuts and didn't stop on a page until the game console section. I have no interest in the pics of naked women. As a youngster we would imagine going out with a nymphomaniac, but I couldn't think of anything worse. 
It's weird how much I have lost interest in females. They remind me of when you buy a weight bench to work out. You see this new thing as the key to a better future but ultimately it's just something that holds your clothes. Women have the potential to make the future better but the interest wains. I think I am closer to be becoming gay than to ever having a girl in my life. At least I would have someone to play computer games with.

After waking from a deep slumber and almost drifting off once more, it has been a long but pleasant day today. Work has become busier. I played in the garden with my boy. I visited a couple of friends and felt in good spirits. To make things better I have a long wire which makes my PS3 run better and so I downloaded Burnout Paradise and had a bath. I shaved the prickles from my ever ageing skin and remembered images in my head of a prepubescent boy with my hairy beer gut. It's gone eleven pm and I should be asleep very soon. But I started this download and must see it through now. 


8am the next day.....  My phone died and I slept in until 7:45.

6:15pm. Raced home and cracked open a beer. What an emotionally difficult day. I watched films until I heartbrokenly collected my son who had a card and sweets for me. It takes the briefest of thoughts for me to want to bawl like a baby. I suck it up everytime but it draws closer each time. Today was lovely with my little boy but he helped me open my card and I glanced inside only to thank him as I shut it. When I arrived home I put the card straight in the bin. It was shop bought and so not to be kept. It hurt so much I was not keeping it. Damage control was tantamount. So now I will self medicate and celebrate that there is a year until the next one to adjust. 
All my eggs are in one basket with that boy. 
I don't really want you to read this about me but it's my only way of expelling it. I am exorcising my demons onto my Blog pages. In putting it out there I have admitted to myself that this is how I feel and can then look at it as if it's someone else's emotions. 
So with that written I am free to move on and take my mind off it. 

Being a singleton puts me in a strange position of being able to stick music on and enjoy a drink at my leisure. However this 'Party for one' feels a little awkward. When you enjoy a song and a drink, you will want to share that feeling with another party member. But as I look around my empty room I realise that there is no one to listen to my song related anecdotes.  I have to remind myself that when I did share a room with others (my wife)  I was restricted to the music I could play and that my anecdotes were repeated each time I played those songs. There is a need to share the good things that you enjoy. Unfortunately I never found sharing anything to write home about. I shall regale myself with stories that the sings remind me of and raise a glass to the ghosts of social mixings past. 

At work I sometimes have reps contact me about our orders etc. If they need to speak to me they generally present me with a barrage of friendly banter which some take too far. One rep in particular, as pleasant as he is, just seems to go further than the others. He rang me and asked how I was, making personal small talk about my actual life. If we are such teat mates then why does he never call me when I'm at home on an evening. He never comes to play X Box or take me for a pint. Yet in office hours you would think I used to work with him or something. I think perhaps I will ring him one evening and ask him what he's up to and make my own small talk and then see how he likes it. I'm not chatty as it is and fully realise that even if someone asks how I am or what I did last night, that I have approximately thirty seconds before they start walking off towards the door behind them. I know this is true because when it is reversed I will allow you ten seconds. If I am genuinely interested then I will ask you when I have chosen to spend time in your company. 
It's nice to be nice after all. 

I'm feeling a little uneven these past couple of days. I miss my son and kind of want to cry when I think of him. So I put him out of my kind on the days that I don't have him. I think yesterday's let down I had at the hands of a couple of my ghost team members has took the wind out of my sales and I'm a little sore. This has led me to want to hibernate at home with no plans of socialising. I am happy and all that but I feel quieter than usual. I only mention it because it's up the minute info. By the time I collect my son this afternoon he will have fixed me again. Fathers day is also prodding me with the guilt stick. I can't win as when I am taking my son home and ......
You know what ...
I seriously can't even write it without getting teary. Sorry.
 But I'm still going to post this as it captured the real moment. 

After arranging Hack Green for my team. Vital members of my team showed disinterest venturing that far/ paying money so I cancelled it because I just wanted it to stop asap. I need to rethink the team and look for new ways forward. Some members are almost impossible to reach and then won't even say that they are not coming. I feel a bit exhausted from it today. I need to switch off for a week or so really. I still love it I just feel let down by others (as fucking usual). 

Oh another muppet, 
Yesterday I delivered a job to the postcode provided. I saw the sign for the place that I needed to drop at. I entered the office and asked is this the right place. 
The big bear of a bloke said "well he has a few addresses but yes you can leave it here. Put it on that table in the entrance" 
The next day I'm told that this man mountain claims to have said I couldn't leave the job at that address. What bothers me is that I do make mistakes which hugely embarrass me but that doesn't mean that I am always guilty. However I had the feeling that work colleagues  had just assumed that I had fucked up when I hadn't. So rather than do I was led all the way, it was supposed to be easier to believe that I had walked into a building and told the huge Geoff Capes looking man that I was wanting to leave these boxes. Then the story goes that he said NO. So I am supposed to have gone and then left them anyway and he did nothing. Which would follow that I told this hulkster that I was leaving these boxes cause I fucking wanted to anyway and what was that massive cocksucker going to do about it. 
You know people look down on me if I've made a mistake forgetting that they do the same. This just makes them looking down on me appear as massive fuck ends. Plus my non reply or trying to explain might make them not see their wrong, it also allows me to take a spiritual peace from not defending myself and yet know what really happened. It makes no difference to what the truth was and they can look down on me if they want as only I have the facts and that fact is that are disillusioned penis faces.  
This may seem like a little rant. But the written word is still a silenct exchange. I let off steam in a quiet tiny vent of rage, whilst displaying the face a calm mill pond. 

I've been actively asking spirits to show evidence of themselves for the last few months, but when I got what I asked for on Saturday I was scared. There will be a full write up at 
Http://otherworldinvestigations.webs.com/ 
But for now I want to tell of my surprise when the table levitated around 8" off the floor. I am used to the table tipping onto one of four legs even but the table flew so high that I instinctively wanted go push it down. The table would just drop with a crash as we all stood amazed. I was worried that we had given it too much energy. Even our sceptics ran in fear at some points. All our different pieces of equipment went off in different areas at once. Torches came on, noises of shuffling feet, tables flew and electric energy readers activated as we stood in the middle of it. A truly scary and yet exhilarating night. I have invited a different team to come and see for themselves. Once you see something like that there's no un seeing it.

Brought my son back to Dragons Den and after a little cry he remembered that he had gained the confidence to scale the castle himself. Then as I tried frantically to keep my eye on him, he found me after going down a slide. He was buzzing that he went to the top and managed to get out to me again. So now I too can relax. These places don't relax me at all as I just normally worry for him as he is too polite letting others go first and he ends up stranded at the top. Tonight I have a family get together and an investigation that I hope to try a few new things at. I hope it is as good as last time. 
I was happy to see four 'Liked' film reviews of mine on Tumblr. When I clicked on the profile though I was led to a single image of a pretty lady. It's obviously a trick to entice the gullible, but to what end?. It's obviously not really those people as two of the separate links had the same profile pic. Am I supposed to believe that I have beautiful adult women who think my review of 'Buried' was interesting enough to tag me on.  I am afraid I am all too clued up and know that we have to make do with whoever will have us. 

Well having now booked an event for my group at Hack Green, I discovered how much 'arranging' has to be done when you are the one to sort it out. It  is difficult getting a coach or minibus booked prior to having numbers who are coming. Then working out the ticket prices etc. It is a busy time of year for travel companies so it may well be that we need to drive ourselves in a bus or separate vehicles. I had the day off and wrote enough to make headway. It's strange going back to work for a Friday. The decorating should be finished in another weeks time I hope. 
My friend and I bought copies of Tiger Woods and getting a private match to work online was a fucking nightmare. It's amazing how terrible a set up it is compared to Call Of Duty. 

5am my brain woke me up today, just to think about stuff which would have been fine be thought of around lunch time. But NO apparently 5am is when my brain needs to get things in order for the day. So it's another day chugging coffee to get through a day at work and then I coast on caffeine fumes until gone 11pm. 
I have my boy staying over tonight so I will be occupied with games, bath and bed. All being well I will get tomorrow off work to write up Hack Green Investigation and maybe creosote fence outside my house. I enjoyed my chat with my friend last night a out the end of both of our last relationships and the subsequent glories that are our sons. There are some people who If I don't see them for ages, I can still walk back into the room and feel comfortable to chat. I'm lucky to have a few of these. 

Well. Hack Green investigation had some enjoyable moments but with it's previous history of great results it came across as a little anti climactic. I will return eagerly though to take my team. I have six investigations on the cards now so it's gone from none to lots. Aside from that I slobbed through Sunday until bedtime. Slept like a baby, a big hairy baby. 
I had finally unboxed my diaries and arranged them on shelves in numerical order starting at 1988. There was huge cause for concern though as 2008 had escaped my grasp. It stood to reason that 2008 was still cast aside through laziness In the loft of my to be Ex wife- fuckety fuck this shit is going to hit the fan when she discovers and reads some. Thank goodness I discovered it hiding in my photo albums section and I was able to stop hyperventilating. My lifes work was added to with the three volume 'My Life Story' (1974-1995). I took a break when I moved in with my last girlfriend/wife who I knew disagreed with such work. On top of that I had various books of poetry, songs and artwork which ranged from the shit to the awful. Great to have these books though. It's interesting to see that I was desperate to be a bit weird and failing to see that I have quirks which do Mark me out from others but not like I had hoped. 
But yes I have a thorough documentation of my life so far and its evolution. This also means I have a skeleton evolution of friends too. Close friends grew up at a similar rate and others moved on to new pastures. There's something very organic and pure about pen on paper which the digital age fails to replicate. Although the more passionate the screenings of adolescence, the harder it is to read. 

Saturday 5am. My son got me up. Saturday night 8pm. I had a ghost investigation in Cheshire in an underground bunker. It was 6am Sunday morning when I finally got 4 hours sleep.
I'm tired, end of Blog. 

Magic mushrooms first entered my grasp when I was fourteen from a kid from the local council estate who didn't want his parents to find them. I looked at the mushy puddle water in a bag and threw them out. Then the next time was after the millenium. I was given them to try in the days that I previously lived alone. I don't like mushrooms as a vegetable anyway and so I mixed them into an instant chicken soup I had made. I then had a bath hoping that the warmth would rush the blood around my body and make it slightly more possible for me to feel something. 
Thirty minutes later I felt unusual. I got out of the bath. I was giddy as I plonked myself on the sofa. There a dizziness in my head as I put music on. The music was no different in any way to when sober. Shame. It was a little disappointing. 
The tv still was on though and although nothing had changed with audio, the visuals surprised me. 
Ok so you may have seen technicolour cartoons of the Beetles in  a psychedelic fashion. Some cartoons where there are streams of colour flying around like tentacles. 
I stared at the tv and colours bled out from the screen and up the Walls and along the floor. I chuckled to myself at what I saw. The  portrail of LSD in film etc had been just. 
Although LSD tabs had never done anything like this.  I wanted to get the most out of this feeling and so went down to my makeshift cinema in my cellar. The equipment that I had used in that cellar confounded me. I put a disc in but after twenty minutes couldn't get sound through speakers or some other problem that I shouldn't have. I went back upstairs as the music being played I could control. I writhed on the floor, lost almost to myself. With my own brain starting to question whether I would find my way back I grew worried. I managed to text my girlfriend what my situation was. She rang and I said I was ok hearing her voice. It brought back a rational hold on the real world. I just wanted someone to know before it was too late. I thought my brain was melting. To make matters worse there was someone at the door. I ignored it but that person knew I was in and so kept knocking. I had to answer the door. God I hoped it wasn't family. 
It was my friend from work. I said something like "I've taken something so Now's not a good time". I felt better for that brush with normality. I had obviously had a word with God and asked to be spared. I made promises to never do them again. 
Well I lived. I never will do them again. But because I am alive after that I look back on it like it was a laugh, just one I don't  want to repeat. 

...concluded...
When on holiday in Tenerife it was mentioned that two or three of my friends would like to buy some Ecstasy whilst out. It sparked a conversation in which they all said that the big story surrounding E is a sham once you have had it. In the same way as a first time beer drinker may be told not to drink whiskey as its super strong, only to have some and just be pissed a bit quicker, then that is what E was to weed. I didn't do any on that holiday as I wanted to he at home in a safe environment for my first time. Within six months I had crossed the drugs path. The streets of Keighley were full of it if you asked about it directly. So I got hold of a couple, knowing that if it was good I would want some more asap. Well with a new nervousness I swallowed it. I felt out of sorts but not in the same way as LSD. my imagination was not pumping thoughts into my brain. It was just like laying down in a hot bath. Was I sweating? Yes it seemed so. Music was more enjoyable but again I wasn't inside the music like when on LSD.  It was just a calmer drug. Fuck it, I took another. Now the thing with E is that you only get the 'Come Up' feeling once. Also you can never get higher. All that happens is that your jaw wants to chew gum or talk. You feel a little agitated as if excited. If you take more LSD you can get lost inside your thoughts. Anyhow I enjoyed it. I did it for three weeks before introducing it to my girlfriend (who's sister did it).  She really liked it too and we would have really truthful conversations whilst on it and I put our relationship lasting as ling as it did on the exchanges we had whilst under it's influence. Many subjects were broached which I would never have dared approach sober. Again it was a great time. But.. When we didn't have any on a weekend I felt like my hands were tied. The weekends were boring because there was no heart open chats or loving cuddles where the two of you became one being. But the day comes where you feel bored of it as it gets old hat. Now I have a son I won't touch drugs. That chapter is closed for me. I do have one experience left which I would like to share. As a postscript I offer tomorrows story. I thought I had broken my brain the day I took MAGIC MUSHROOMS. 

CONT.....
It was 1991. I finally accepted the offer to buy LSD. For less than a fiver I bought a small piece of paper with a picture on it and something which I was told was a micro dot. I was warned that micro dots were strong so I chickened out of taking it. Looking back, I think it wasn't even a drug at all but more a cake decoration. The paper was for real though. I had been told that cutting the acid tab into two halves was the best way to start with such things. One Friday night, I cut one half into two. A placed it under my Tongue with butterflies in my stomach with apprehension. I was in my bedroom. Nothing happened all night. I went to bed a little disappointed. The following night I took the other three quarters. I expected nothing to happen again. Then... One hour later, I felt something. There was a strange chemical taste in my mouth and I started to get a similar sensation as to when I have a cold and I'm forever swallowing. I put some music on and started to feel sort of dizzy. There was a warmth circulating through my body like my blood was warm water. A lovely tingle bubbled on every piece of skin. A new but enjoyable feeling lasted about six hours. I listened to 'the Orb' and other things and  the music sounded awesome. it came alive in an almost auditory 3D. Wow when could I do this again! 
The following morning there was no feeling remaining and not a sign of a drug hangover. It was cheaper than booze, better, lasted longer and left no Ill  feeling after. The following weekend I bought it on a Friday and took it in my room on a Saturday. 
Every week the tabs themselves had different pictures on. I would then buy three, then four then six and then ten. Two years followed in this fashion. I only ever had two nights where I felt ill from them. The second time I felt ill, I came close to owning up and going downstairs to be with my mum. Thank god I didn't. But I could picture myself being discovered on my bedroom floor in a pool of sick and the humiliation stopped from doing them again. I was not going to die from drugs. I'd had my fun. 
These were the happiest times I had ever had. It was a phase and it ended but I never forgot how good it had been. Not having them on a weekend did leave an empty feeling. Unexpectedly there was a second and final phase...... Ecstasy came my way. 
..TO BE CONCLUDED.....

The morning after the night before. The taste of bourbon on my Tongue and a lack of good sleep in my eyes. I had blogged whilst drunk. Oh well. Its all about honesty. Everyone needs to let off steam somehow. When I was 16 I would have the conversation about "would you do heroin?" Everyone said No. We were only just on the eve of our drinking beers but it was all about new experiences. Conversations would reduce in levels of substances. "well what about Ecstasy?" I drew a line at E saying it wasn't worth the risk. The newspapers had the odd horror story about kids at raves or at the Hacienda dying from taking a dodgy one or something. All our favourite bands of that time had an ecstasy culture within. It was a rebirth and rebranding of hippy culture in many ways. But Manchester was where it was at, not Cullingworth. Drug lingo was a new dialogue to me. I was not up on the hip titles of these drugs at all. I new 'Weed' was the safest option but as a non smoker I wasn't interested. The next level up was Amphetamines. The new kid on the block, as far as I heard was called 'Whizz'. A White powder which was commonly snorted. I didn't like that idea. 
I would go on the bus to meet friends in Bradford where we would head to the uni bars and end up in a place called 'Tumblers'. This had a very young age group, sometimes as young as 14. But like any normal club the age range would reach into the 30's. Although these people would stand out in  the crowd.  It was at the end of one such bus ride that, when in the Interchange, an older lad approached me and said "do you want to buy any tabs?" The words he spoke suggested cigarettes to me but when I looked puzzled he proffered his open hand and said "Acid". I said no and hurried on my way. But as I walked away I felt a rush of excitement. I had been next to drugs and it felt cool. Not only that but I could have actually walked away with some. I told friends in the club and learnt what I had been offered . The following conversations drew a fascinating picture as an explanation of what happened upon taking these things was spelt out to me. There was talk of going on 'Trips' and everything being  altered around you when on them. It sounded fantastic. The downside was described to me. "But be warned... If you have a bad trip you might see monsters coming out of the Walls and be lost on a strange scary planet until the drugs came out of your system". All I could hear was a voice in my head saying "COOL...AS...FUCK" and the seed was planted. I was offered LSD to be bought at least every second week. It was only a matter of time before I gave in.
To be continued...