6:15pm. Raced home and cracked open a beer. What an emotionally difficult day. I watched films until I heartbrokenly collected my son who had a card and sweets for me. It takes the briefest of thoughts for me to want to bawl like a baby. I suck it up everytime but it draws closer each time. Today was lovely with my little boy but he helped me open my card and I glanced inside only to thank him as I shut it. When I arrived home I put the card straight in the bin. It was shop bought and so not to be kept. It hurt so much I was not keeping it. Damage control was tantamount. So now I will self medicate and celebrate that there is a year until the next one to adjust. 
All my eggs are in one basket with that boy. 
I don't really want you to read this about me but it's my only way of expelling it. I am exorcising my demons onto my Blog pages. In putting it out there I have admitted to myself that this is how I feel and can then look at it as if it's someone else's emotions. 
So with that written I am free to move on and take my mind off it.