To be thankful

I'm in my midlife in my opinion. I'm 39. I see my grandma age 93 I think and know of others who are dealing with illness which threatens their further existence and I hold my life force tightly. If my life was to end in a months time let's say then how I be left standing? Well, my diaries of my existence would be up to date. My son knows I love him because I tell him so everyday. I speak to my father via email and that means I wouldn't have that loose end to tie up. I found my own happiness and place in the world in 2011 so I've reached a personal plateau with that one. But to not see my son grow older would be a painful prospect but then I'd say that no matter what age he was. Just another year God I'd be saying. 

When I think about how I'd tell my son all the things (lessons) I'd learnt about life it makes me wonder why no elderly person has ever imparted their knowledge onto me. Why doesn't my gran lecture me on what to do? 

Anyway all of this reflection on dying makes me appreciate things like my sons face obviously but also looking at the clouds in the sky, the sea or all the other things of natural beauty which we ignore most days. Family would seem important again. Friends would be missed. I have three friends who I don't see regularly and without them Who would be at my funeral to say what a good bloke I was? 

I fully enjoy the air I'm breathing today and my limbs for still moving. 

Until my body starts to turn against me I intend to be thankful more.