I surprised myself by having slept in until 9am. I sat up in bed and for some reason started working on another bit of music to put on my soundcloud. Once I was up and showered, I surprised myself by donning my earphones and setting off on a two hour walk along the canal. I'd been sat playing Minecraft for an hour or so and I realised that I was in a lazy mood because I was somewhat tired. Then I remembered that I'd been on the walk and it had knackered me.
I've read and walked and played and done all sorts of bits....anything but actually what I was supposed to do, which was write. There's still time but so far...I just haven't. I'm considering going to the cinema later...but again ...I thought I'd made it so I didn't need to today by going to a double bill on Thursday.
Ok it's 20:18pm on this Sunday night and I didn't go to the cinema in the end which I'm glad about. I watched Breaking Bad series 3 to the end which gave me a sense of triumph as finishing a series always does. I thought I has six episodes left of The Office US but there was actually eight to go so I left that alone. Having time left to fill before bed I could no longer avoid sitting down to write my dragon story. I'd exhausted all other avenues and naturally, now, I feel good about having thrown a thousand words down for that. My things for tomorrow are all laid out ready. My walk has still got me feeling lazy as hell but good about myself for also having done it. The light outside my shutter has faded to black now. I'm lit by the small lamp at my living room writing table. The only company I have is the clicking of typing and since I'm using the IPad, the clicking is a digital representation anyway. The silence of living alone is always a bitter sweet sound. I find myself stopping as I walk around my home and wondering what other families are doing as they bustle around each other in their shared homes. I wonder what my son is up to. That's usually when I stop thinking. 'I saw him yesterday and i'll see him tomorrow' a voice reassures me. I see my own son a lot more than many other fathers see their kids. I'm lucky that my time is split 50/50. The knowledge that kids stop having their parents around soon after thirteen is something I cling to to make myself feel better. When I see my boy I give him all my attention which makes up for when I don't see him. He has no problem with it so I should be cool with that.
I recalibrate on these quiet Sunday evenings. What will the following week bring and how do I keep strong internally? Organisation and time management is what I find works for me which is why I hate surprises or the unexpected. Surprises are fine if they are planned in advance!
And to think my ex accused me of not being spontaneous. "Spontaneous is just another way of saying disorganised' I remember replying.
Probably just one of the contributing conversations to making me single again. I watched Spock on Star Trek Into Darkness yesterday and recognised his robotic emotional interplay with his captain and his girlfriend. It felt like a mirror.
However, I'm not here to wax lyrical about that aspect of me. Not today.
I guess I shall allocate half an hour to reading and then perhaps a film to round off the day.
I bid you all a good coming week.
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