Another 3AM silence

3am. The dead silence of the world outside makes it hard to believe that a single person is awake somewhere on the planet. After waking up from a dream about bombs going off in a town centre, my thoughts turned to tonight's drum lesson with my step son. Over the past month I've become surplus to requirement as we don our linked headphones and I basically just watch him bash out along to new songs he's taught himself. We agreed to have the lessons be fortnightly from now on which will probably stop completely before the years finished. It makes me proud to watch him drum along to songs with the thought that I've in a large way made that possible. The thing I will miss is just the spending time with him and my son in the garage for 45 minutes but I gather there could be another way to spend time together if we thought about it. 

My evening promise to turn off the tv fell flat because of the news that GTA 5 ONLINE was coming and after watching the trailer for the multiplayer, I just had to go on it. So I got 90 minutes playing in before bed. I set these rules for myself and when I break them I have to pinch myself thinking "nobody actually cares what you are doing, you've set these rules for yourself and you're not actually letting anyone down!" So there. 

I feel like I'm standing still and the world is whizzing around me with each person busy in their own hyper reality. Ever since I opted out of living the lie which life's charade is, I notice the separation although it's not really a bad thing.