Isolation breeds....retaliation?

I spent the evening alone at home. I showered and changed while a pizza cooked and then I watched The Amazing Spider Man- it was bliss. GTA V has turned its multiplayer on and not been able to cope with demand but I managed to create a character to represent me. 

I also spent an hour and a half on Minecraft creating three portals for my little lad. I looked toward my book and considered reading for all of two seconds. Instead I watched The Killing in bed until I could take no more and slept. As for this morning, although it's dark and very rainy, I feel happy and calm. The voices in my head are whispering rather than shouting and it's given me time to work through a few thoughts. Firstly about girls and whether it's still ok to be single- turns out it is. Secondly about my locking myself away like I do. Is it healthy and will I lose my friends if I continue to not really visit them? 

I think a bit of plate spinning is needed as regards them. I don't literally want to have no one in my life. It's more a case of I want no stress. It dawned on me that it's hypocritical of me to block everyone out constantly and then say how nobody has visited since my marriage finished. Actually saying that just brings my anger up again. 

Fuck em. 

Well that back fired.