The ghost of love...

I'm concerned, scared even, that my interest in female companionship is going to grow from 'never again' to 'if the circumstances are right'. I have brief daydreams I suppose you'd call them about having a lover again. Then I snap out if it with memories of my relationship failings or that of ex's. The idea of love is great. But it's the love that is in films, books, songs or just the first four weeks of a teenage relationship. I don't know where this new thought will lead and I don't truly know how I feel about this subtle daydream creeping in to my thinking. I'm hoping it's just a romantic fantasy to fill my thinking as I work the long days I am doing. 

In all honesty, I can't have who I want and if by some miracle I did, I wouldn't be able to keep them.