Lou Reed (so far so good)

Lou reed died this week aged 71. A musician who had influenced many of the bands I grew up liking but who was actually 'before my time', my record buying time I mean. However, once when I was in London with my wife during the 2000's, my then wife and I were crossing the road next to a doddery old man who looked like 'peak' Lou Reed but somewhat deflated. His wife seemed at least 10 to 15 years younger than this man. I watched this pensioner cross the road and later checked my story out with a guy from work who was a fan. Lou Reed did have a much younger woman, was in London and was now old. 

I looked at this Star and felt a bit sorry for him. Time had decayed him just like everyone else. At no point did he check me out and think to himself 'look there's that bloke who writes a blog no one reads'. 

Time has aged me too of course. 

When I heard he'd died this week it brought this memory back to mind. He had only had one more decade in him when I saw him last (and first). Everyone's time is running out and we only have a limited window until our life fades out. 

Mortality is quite the motivator. 

Have I done all I could have? 

Well, I've done things I shouldn't have in my twenties and since apologised for most of them. 

Am I doing all I could be doing these days? 

I think I am actually. I could die where I stand and my affairs would be in order pretty much.  

Did I find happiness whilst here?

 Ten fold  because of my son. 

So far, so good. 

2 nights, 2 museums.

 

I had my son from lunchtime on Friday until teatime on Sunday and it made for a great weekend. We initially rushed home to play the newly downloaded demo of Lego Marvel Superheroes on PS3 and then watched some Power Rangers Megaforce. Add to this some playing make believe and Friday was taken care of. 

On Saturday my son started to watch episode 1 of every Power Rangers series on Netflix. It took him until Sunday to finish all 20 types but I was proud of this obsessive geeky streak in him considering he's only 5. The middle part of our day was taken up with five hours in Eureka! which is a children's learning museum in Halifax. It cost the two of us £22 to enter but then we got our receipt turned into a years free pass. With it being so local to us, we can hang out when we like , which makes it good value. We had an enjoyable time pretending my son was a doctor and I was his helper who he was teaching about the human body etc. it raised some discussion over how babies got out of a woman's tummy (I suggested a 'baby hole') but thankfully not in. 

Just a great day.

Then after a lie in on Sunday morning we called to visit a mate of mine for an hour and then headed to the media museum. 

The Doctor Who exhibition had started that very day and we entered the floor where it was first. There were two families colouring in some Who related sheets. Other wandering kids held pop up paper Daleks which looked devastatingly brittle. A few steps into this area and my boy said he wanted to go to his usual favourite area instead. One where we go every time. I did what he wanted. We visited every area first, leaving the Doctor Who level until last. When we returned it was locked for the day. Ah the irony. 

Still, we had a good time. The rain bucketed down outside and in the south of the UK, floods and storms raged on that night causing havoc. 

I spent my evening watching a film or two and was totally ready for my working week. 

Old Cavendish Court write up

Our team had the cafe and the main section of the courtyard to ourselves for the evening with the owner giving us some stories to go on before she left. She said that she had seen a tall black figure pass her out in the courtyard before and also felt that she had three spirits in the shop who she coexisted with pleasantly. The cellar had a history of a suicide by a male but again he didn't cause problems for the owner. As most of us gathered in the cafe awaiting the last of our group I set a dictaphone running in the cellar for five hours before retrieving it. I left to go outside as the last people turned up and re-entered the cafe to have people tell me of twelve footsteps coming up the stairs a moment ago. At least three people confirmed that they had  heard them. All I recorded on my dictaphone was one bump. This is strange though because if their ears heard it but not my equipment, then it was not a normal sound frequency as even in the cellar my recorder hears every word spoken by the group a lot further away and yet only picked up one bump from the footsteps climbing the cellar steps. We sit down around a large table and ask out. My recorder picks up a bump in the cellar. At the table we ask the glass to count out in rotations how many spirits there are in the building, to which it answers 19.  Sue sees a male and female looking into the café window but thinks that the public have a way through the yard, but all the gates are locked and only I have the keys. As the table upstairs makes brief contact with a 'Tony', my recorder hears a bump and then a knock. Tony was identified as a Medium friend of members of the  present circle. The next name to come forward is 'Darren'. Darren says that his son worked in this area. As I retrace my steps around the shop (where earlier I found no other electrical surges other than the fridge and microwave) I walk near one corner and my Gauss meter rises and shrieks up to four and a half Mg. for thirty five seconds and then it stops dead.  People had seen flashes of light in this corner and now we are drawn towards it. I fail to make it happen again. We ask for the spirit to go back to the Gauss metre which I have now left on a handrail. The glass indicates that yes it will do it again. All we hear is the device click briefly. The spirit is asked to go near me as I stand close to my device and I can see the needle wobbling but the sound not activating. Later when I check my photos there are lights caught in that area.  We decide to relocate to that corner where a heavy brown high topped table is for us all to stand around. There are a pile of toys over there that start to sing their electrical tune as we move a couch out of the way. The sound is coming from a box at the bottom that we cant actually touch. Two minutes later the toys sing again. Three minutes later they do it again. We are finally ready to start glass divination on this heavy table but are surprised to find the large table is tipping and so hurriedly remove the glass. This was a shock to me too as the weight in this table would have stopped me from attempting to table tip with it. However the large table rotated and leant dangerously and cold air was detected. Later photos of the table base caught lights beneath it. But it doesn’t last long enough to get more communication. We relocate again to a small table and contact 'David Peterson'. He table slides around the floor impressively but again few answers are taken. Bill has to back away from the group as he feels his body is being taken. My recorder picks up a bang in the cellar. I decide to go down the stairs alone in the dark for ten minutes while the group ask for any spirit to come down into the cellar and touch me. I sit there waiting to be touched but feel zero. 

The next name we get is 'Victoria'. She says that she has a message for the owner we cant seem to get it. Victoria says that she passed over fifty years ago. Vague answers follow and so I get frustrated and we stop. We refresh and then get David again who thinks Victoria is confused and he says that he is definitely not. David says he goes in the courtyard and the car park sometimes. We did catch a photo out in the seating area with four lights in a square formation but had no other communication. 

Any interesting communication was annoyingly brief and it was as if they didn't want to communicate with us. There seemed to be some electrical field walking around but other than that it was all vague. 

The next day though the owner said she felt a forth presence. She went down to the cellar and asked aloud who it was. A voice said 'John' in her ear. Two other members complained that they seemed to have taken an entity home with them. 

Old Hack Green write up

June 4th 2011. HACK GREEN SECRET UNDERGROUND BUNKER.

  I had found a few reports on this location when researching it and the ghost teams all seemed to talk of it being highly active. The main ways spirits manifested was either visually or physical contact. I was excited at the prospect. The journey past Nantwich became scenic and we took a quiet country lane to the location passing massive signs which read 'Secret Bunker'. It seemed rather than radars with which to find it, all that was required was a good pair of reading glasses. 

We were the first to arrive and speaking to Lucy who was running the evening we discovered that 'Nausea' and 'Fainting' was the chief way spirits affected the teams. 

West Yorkshire Paranormal Group arrived a while later after I had taken some photos around outside. 

The investigation started. My sister Becky and I were in Pat's group luckily and we made our way along a long corridor which was the spine of the top floor. At one end we stopped at the top a staircase near the toilets and the Contamination Room. Pat said that she felt this corridor was strong with spirit energy. Paul H indicated a problem with the infra red on the camera. It was due to a full battery draining. All batteries are brought full. Pat picks up on a lady with dark hair tied back and she was wearing an RAF uniform. After a change of battery Paul H announces that battery two is near dead. Teri senses a woman too. This woman is extremely distraught. Battery three is up and running. Battery three is dead. Pat asks politely that the spirit doesn't continue to drain batteries as we don't have enough to last us. Then Pat feels a movement of energy in the corridor and asks us how we feel. It feels muggy and warm like a stuffy summers night. Some of us have slight  headaches. Pats description is of static electricity pulling at her hair. We are stood in darkness and the torch which is in Pats hand illuminates  briefly and surprises us. Pat holds the gently between her fingers but the switch is actually on the base. A similar thing happened whilst I was at Bolling Hall. “Can you please do that again?” The torch flashes. Teri senses a presence stood in front of Pat and the torch comes on and stays on. Pat says that has the feeling that she fell from a great height, maybe down some stairs but not the ones that we are at. The torch goes out. Teri sees a light near Pat as she describes the actual staircase. “The stairs that I picture are wider and they descend down and to the right on their way, yet these that we stand at go to the left.” We ask if any of these names are the spirits.”Joan?...Janet...?”

“Can you please light the torch again if we say your name?” 

“Jean?...Janet?...Joan?..Juliet?” No answer. So with other stairs described we decide to show Pat the other staircase at the opposite end of the building. Pat is excited to see the ones she pictured and described. A large stairway winds in a right ways direction downwards. This stairway is painted bright yellow. Lucy explained that when in this underground building there was no natural sun driven day and night as there are no windows. So after 72 hours your body loses the sense of how long you've been in there. If you go stir crazy under these conditions, the most obvious place to kill yourself would be to throw yourself over this stairway. It's noticeably colder on these stairs and the torch lights back up. Pat asks “Why are you so upset?” The spirit is said to be absolutely distraught. 

We list options to be identified as the reason for the unhappiness. The torch indicates that its a personal life problem. We ask if this lady was involved romantically with another woman. The torch says yes and indicates it as a very emotionally intense moment of passing over and the other woman being the reason. The spirit doesn't ask to move on but is waiting for her girlfriend to come back to the building too. With a little trial and error we work our way through the alphabet for her to spell out each of the letters in her name. We land at JOAN. 

“Did you take your own life?” “NO”

“Was it the lady who you were involved with?” “YES”

Pat says again that the Joan is sobbing. It would appear that the relationship had already ended but Joan wanted to come out and profess to all her love for this woman. The other woman was ashamed. The military took a dim view of homosexuality. 

The torch changes hands to Becky as Pat becomes tearful too. Ian asks if there was an investigation carried out over the incident and Joan says NO. “Was the event covered up?” “YES”

“Did your collegues know about your relationship though?” “NO”.

Some of us hear a walkie talkie type radio noise, we ask Lucy in the office if she heard it. Lucy says that her radio just fell off her desk. I get Becky to put the torch on the floor. It lights up still and then Paul H's flashes too. Paul H asks if Joan used to work on radio communications and his torch flashes wildly. 

We move to a room close by which was and is still set out as the ladies dormitory. We sit quietly in the dark to get a feel for the room. Pat hears soft music whilst Paul H reports that he has seen the top bunk facecloth move as he filmed it. Pat now hears fluctuating Country and Western music in her head. We straighten all the beds over the fence again so that we have a more controlled area. We try to make all three top bunks symmetrically square and tidy. Now Pat has a strong sense of the music that she picks up, it's the song which goes, “Hello Mary Lou, Goodbye heart..”

Paul H sees one bed with a large imprint in it as someone had sat down on the edge but we haven't been concentrating on those beds enough. 

We are next on the lower levels of the building around the very centre of the corridor below. We enter the small cinema room and Pat sees an orb in the doorway so I stand in it to see if I get anything. The rest of our team get comfy in the cinema seats. My camera shuts down and I think that I must've run out of tape or battery but I have just changed it all ten minutes ago.  Now Pat senses a male who she describes as 'Sneaky'. She struggles to expand on that word but also hints at 'Spy'. Paul H sees a light on camera and then his camera turns off. There is a loud noise in the room and we find a cinema seat up. We put it back down to find that these seats have no play left in them to spring up or down automatically. We put all the seats down to control any more movement. Paul H's camera turns off. He starts recording to find it shut down again. Then when its on again it goes into EDIT mode which he doesn't know how to do. Pat says that he may have knocked a certain button but Paul is sure he didn't. There is a bleeping of equipment that is obviously quite common but when it continues we ask “Who's is that?” We all think it is someone else because it is not ours, we all say. We struggle to get a good communication but Teri does feel a breeze. It becomes frustrating so we move after a few photos of mine have lights on. As I leave I throw the camera over my shoulder in case something is loitering My picture is amongst the ones on the website and there is a smudge but it could be reflection only. Hey it's always worth a shot

As we leave a torch from Pats pocket has jumped quite a way in front of her and a similar thing is about to occur in the next room. 

We now go to the Government Departments Room. The room is behind a tall metal fence and is full of tables with in/out trays and computers and desk lamps. This room is cold and straight away Pat senses a female busying herself in this office. Paul H sees a light on camera and asks for it to happen again in the same place. A light rushes the camera again. “Do it again” Paul repeats and it does it immediately.  Teri and Pat report a tap sound towards the desks. I sit on a chair watching all of them face into the room. I see a light but discover that it is just Paul's walkie in his back pocket. Thirty seconds later there is a loud plastic to carpet noise and Paul discovers that his walkie is now a metre over the fence near a desk. We can see that we would have heard him accidentally rub it on the metal fencing and the fence is way too high for it to go over anyway. Interesting stuff. 

We hear a scraping sound from the back of the desk room so Paul H and I jump the fence (We are permitted to do so) and sit in the two back corners and film the rest of the team. Shortly after Paul H calls me over to him as he hears whispering but its barely audible and I don't catch any of it. 

I ask “Can you make a noise by us please?”. There is a plastic noise moderately loud just on a desk by us. We ask each other “Was that you?”

The energies seem to back off further unfortunately but the temperature seems to still fluctuate. I have since learnt how to use a piece of equipment which measures air temperature and humidity and logs the minimum and maximum change. I will use this in future investigations. Paul H says his battery has dropped down to low again. Ten minutes later Pat hears a hissing noise which represents her having spirit contact. 'Veronica Haskell' she declares. We continue to ask Veronica to show stronger evidence. We believe that we hear a low bump. Pat and other Paul think that they have heard whispering over by them. Now Paul H sees a light on camera near Pat and Ian feels a cold breeze come over him and stresses that it's unusual for him to feel such things. There is another tap on a table sound. As Pat sees a light emitting from one of the rear desks she also becomes very very cold. We decide to call a break and Teri flashes with camera and Paul H thinks that he saw a shadow stood in the far corner of the room during the flash, I guess the photo will answer that one. 

During the break Paul H and Teri call me into the ladies loo because a woman entered and walked into a person who she couldn't see. We couldn't seem to get communication again.

Everyone entered the ladies dorm and we had downloaded the song that Pat had heard, I believe by Willie Nelson. We played the song out from a laptop. We commence with a table tipping session. First we determine what action the spirit wants to indicate YES and then asks it to give us the sign for NO. Once this is established we ask questions of the two female spirits who are felt to be here. 

The table shakes and there's a light documented on camera. The table tilts at no question and stays there. When Paul H asks for the table to go down it doesn't move, until a female asks. We ask if the spirits don't like Paul H being in the female dorm and they say NO. There is another light and we determine a time of the 1950's. The ladies worked for the Local Government. Lucy explains the details that she thinks we are on to and the table strongly agrees. We come up with the name 'Veronica' possibly with the surname of 'Banks' for spirit 1. the second spirit becomes reluctant to speak but we think she is called 'Charlie' or 'Charlotte'. Lucy says that better results are got if we speak about love and relationships rather than focus on their sadness. The table stands firmly at a forty five degree angle and we almost get all contact off it. There is yet another light on camera. As Pat tells us that the girls are about 23/24 she is pushed from behind . It seems to be believed that a third entity has entered and this stops communication with spirit 2 who is scared of spirit 3. Paul H then pulls me to the bunk beds that we straightened to show me the top middle bunk has been untucked at the bottom. Lucy sees a flicker of light in the room herself. Eventually Pat gets to communicate with spirit 3 and tells him he's not nice and a bully. We all hear a bang in the corridor and Lucy recognises it as the barrier at the top of the stairs. It becomes apparent that spirit 3 had a romantic fascination with one of these women and was spurned so that is why he makes things difficult for them still. 

A group of males leave mostly girls to continue with that table session and we visit three more locations but get nothing. 4Am arrives and Becky and I start the drive home. 

The building has a lot of potential and I feel this was a quiet night for spirit and that is why I want to get back. My return is booked for July 2nd. I look forward to it. 

Old print works write up

April 9th 2011

(We are sat at one end of the large work area)

Six people arrived at an undisclosed location with an uncertainty of what they would have happen. We were pleasantly surprised at our results. We set up a camera and two dictaphones and sat around a small table to take 'Protection'. Marie sensed that there were children running about down the far end of the building. We started with glass divination on a table marked with 'Yes' and 'No'. It took barely two minutes for the glass to move towards Yes. Usually the first hour is unproductive, so it was great having something this early. One man around the building was called Bill and his Grandad, also called Bill, used to work in this building long ago. I shall have to split these Bills into Bill jr and Bill sr to distinguish them. The questions and answers contained these,

“Do the spirits need our help?”   “No” 

The glass tipped and fell onto it's side.

Once stood back up it fell onto it's side again. 

“Is there more than one spirit here?”  “Yes”

“Did you used to work in this building?”.    The glass tipped over again. We didn't know how to interpret this response.

Debbie joked,”shall we put a vodka in the glass?”  The glass moved very fast to Yes.

“Do you still come here when people work through the day?”   “Yes”

“Do you recognise anyone at the table?” The glass moved to Bill jr.

“Are you Bills Grandad?”   “Yes”

“Are you happy where you are?”    A very definite  “Yes”

Bill jr asked “Did you used to meet me from school every night?”  The glass moved fast to “Yes”

Bill, a psychic artist, is told that he is on the right path with his drawings of spirits and should continue. He only realised he was doodling the dead in the last twelve months. 

Bill jr asked “Is Norman (Bill jr's Dad) with you?”   “Yes”

The spirit seems to prefer us all to call him Grandad, so we do.

The glass doesn't stay still from this point, either moving as if it is ice skating around the table or staying in one place and yet turning on the spot. 

“Is it nice where you are?”   “Yes”

The spirit says it will help us through the night and doesn't seem to keen for us to have a coffee break. 

(We gather in a small office still using a glass on the table) 65F

Bill jr “Are you with me at all times Grandad?”   “Yes”

Marie asks a lot of questions about her spiritualist church and family and friends, some of which are also at the table. The glass at some points tips over again but we still don't know if this means a certain thing. The glass moves to Yes and No without hesitation, so we are none the wiser.

As we sit together in this office, out in the work place there are distant bangs and knocks which I go out to investigate and never hear a thing. As Marie asks questions about her being a Trance Medium, there is a banging repeatedly which gets louder and louder. This is clearly heard on my dictaphone. Some noises sound inside the room with us but also far away. The table itself shifts towards Marie. Then the table moves towards Bill who is sat opposite to Marie. I said that the spirit would get a chance to move the table later and the glass hurriedly went to YES.

“Are you enjoying tonight spirit?”    “Yes”

The glass twists on the spot which trips our fingers into each other and yet the glass itself continues to turn. When the glass moves around in a circular movement it would seem to represent “I Don't Know”.

Marie asks who she can hear mumbling out in the work place. It appears to be Norman (Bills Dad).

'Grandad' confirms it to be Norman. Bill jr says that Norman has lifted tables for him in the past in spirit. Even in my coat I feel like my back is freezing and so I ask if there is a presence sat behind me. The glass moves to “Yes” Teela (Marie's Daughter) asks if she would be able to witness this energy and the glass moves to “Yes”. Many other personal questions are asked about people around the table and answers seem to satisfy. Towards the end of this session the glass moves in a figure eight and at the same time rotates itself so that its a real problem trying to keep our fingers on for a moment. Teela asks if there is a spirit dog around,  “Yes”

I can say that I kept hearing a dog whining outside the office but I was worried that only I kept hearing it. Sometimes when one of your ears rings like a high pitch white noise naturally and you can hear it loudly but you know nobody else would hear it, that is what it felt like to me. It seemed I was hearing noises which only I could pick up at that moment. It seemed though that some of the others also had it, but not all. I am in no way a sensitive but this was interesting for me.

The moves in a circle faster and faster until it tips over. Marie asks “Will Chris get evidence on his camera this evening?”    “Yes”

Although we are talking to Bill all the time Marie ends one session saying “I must ask about a William when we get back.” Before I have got to this audio in my editing, a friend finds out himself that his Grandad used to work there and he was called William. Marie and the rest of us never ask about a William though unfortunately.

 

(we are back in the office using just fingers lightly on the table)

We sit and gather our energies for a couple of minutes and ask for the table to lift up. The table rises onto two of it's four legs. I ask for the table to lift at the other end instead, baring in mind that everyone's fingers are lightly not moving on the top of the table only. The table does as asked and raises at the opposite end. Then the table lifts onto just one leg and when asked if it can twist on one leg it proceeds to rotate three quarters of a full rotation. Someone asks if the table can stand on each one leg in turn. The table goes from leg number one to only leg two and then just number three and finally leg four. This shows that at we all faking at one point or the table is really not controlled by us. The table stands on the very point of a right angled leg. We asks for the table to jump up off the floor and levitate but sadly doesn't. We ask for the table to tip towards people by name and it does so without error. We ask for the table to be thrown over and it tips completely down with a bang. 

Finally the table is dragged under our finger tips on all four legs towards Bill jr.

We charge up a glow in the dark ball under a light and place the ball on the table. My none night vision camcorder struggles to see the evidence during this session but my eyes could see. The audio still provides interesting moments. With fingers on the table the table tips to roll the ball towards a named person and stays on the table edge each time unless allowed to fall. The table starts making strange wood creaking noises for the first time which the audio confirms on my camcorder. We take our hands off and the table continues to creak for two minutes as if its under pressure. 39 mins in the table is asked to move and it falls over, ball and dictaphone hitting the floor. We ask for a bang and I capture a soft bang. One minute later another bang is recorded. The table starts to creak without being touched and the table does not move from the very corner of the table.  

We start another session of glass divination. The glass moves freely.

“Is that Grandad bill?”   “Yes”

“Did you move the table at the end of the last session and make it creak?”   “Yes”

There follows more questions which are personal to the group and so can't be used here.

The glass spins and there is a bang outside of the office. 

“Did you make that noise outside Grandad bill?”   “Yes”

Marie hears a dog barking and says that dogs are related to spiritualist protection. 

The glass starts to spin out of control and Teela asks if the spirit would stop and it immediately stops. Then Teela asks “How fast can you go?” The glass goes as fast as I have ever seen.

Marie says “Can you stop please?” The glass stops. 

The glass continues to spin as we all hear noises outside.

As the glass spins Teela asks if it can spin in the other direction and it stops and goes in the other direction at once. I capture a noise which sounds in part like a bird outside but also like a baby crying. Two minutes later I say I hear a dog howling close by. Four minutes later I hear a dog again. 

Teela asks if the spirit can take the glass to each of the four corners of the table in turn which it does. The glass spins to a point where it falls over. We hear noises outside in the work place and ask if this is Norman and the glass says yes. Grandad Bill seems to dominate our sessions and he admits via the glass that he won't let anyone else have a go. Marie says she is hearing marching in the work place and I capture a Bang. I put the dictaphone on the floor a capture another Bang which I felt under my feet. A few more bangs are heard and felt. Debbie asks if two young boys named Thomas and James are with us and the glass responds “Yes”

“Did the boys have an accident with the trains?” (We are very close to a train track outside.)

We hear a bump. The glass moves to Yes. Three more bumps occur as we continue to a close for a break.

(We move to the other end of the work place out in a large area)

We start table tipping and have results straight away. The table crashes to the floor.

 Then the table sands onto one leg.  I ask if the table can be dragged. The table spins and pulls towards me a little so I reach out a hand and ask for the table to touch me. It twists and drags until it is touching my outstretched hand. Soon after I ask if the table will drag on all four feet it does so.  Debbie asks if it will come to her as she is in the opposite direction. The table drags a lot towards her and then tips on two legs into her. We ask if the table can be thrown over and it crashes down.

As we discuss what to try next we hear a further loud bang.

(We move into a small office again to use the Ghost box)

A ghost box is a radio which scans all the stations without ever stopping on a station therefore there is a lot of white noise and snippets of radio chatter which some believe spirits can manipulate to speak through. Where some noises can be twisted to fit what you imagine, I try to only document the words that are most roundly formed no matter what they are. This is my first time using a Ghost box.

I start the machine running just after my dictaphone but before my camcorder. As I explain to Bill jr what this machine does we hear a voice appear to say “Hiya” before I have turned the lights off. 

Here are the words which I recorded.

“Hi”

“Can you give us a name?”    “Bill”

“Losers”

“Can you say CROSS?”  “CROSS” At the time this went unnoticed.

“Bill”

“Bill”

“Bill”

“Bill”

“Can you give a name of someone around the table?”   “Chris” (female voice)

“Chris” (male voice)

“Here”

“Bedtime”

Then there is a break where we try and get the energies up again.

We start with a prayer and sit quietly and hear a knock on wood in the room.

Teela and someone else reports that they think they can feel a pulse in the table.

I tell the spirit which seems to be tiring to do what it needs to do to build its energy. The glass suddenly gets up to a moderate speed. “Can you stop the glass please?” It stops.

Another Bang in the room.

(We continue with the Ghost Box)

We ask for a name of someone around the table and I did think that I heard a Chris said twice in a gruff voice but i'm not convinced that it is not just the glass scraping on the table as it moves.

“Can you tell us a name?”    “NO”

“Chris”

“Do you like this machine?”    “NO”

“Would you like us to take it off the table?” The glass moves to Yes.

 We close down with a prayer to finish the session.  We hear a strange noise that I cannot really describe. 

As we all leave the office and chat a little my dictaphone continues to run with our faded voices in the background. 

After five minutes I capture a Breath next to the recorder. Its fascinating but creepy.

I am left alone in the building and leave my recorder running until the very last second. I talk out loud to the spirits listening that they have only a minute or so left to be heard. I capture another noise of some kind that was not heard at that moment. 

The Solar Sisters

Keplar's search for exolanet's (habitable planets orbiting a sun) has discovered 200 subjects and counting outside of our solar system and some outside the Milky Way even. In the past week they've discovered a small seven planet filled solar system kinda like a shrunken version of our own. But best of all is the nine planet system with similar spacing between planetary bodies as our own. 

Earth 2 may very well sit out there somewhere. 

I find it so fascinating and mind blowing I must say. 

It actually makes me feel sick sometimes if I think about it too hard. 

We are so insignificant. Imagine if you had been born on a planet outside of our solar system and you looked out at the nights sky. Would you imagine that one of those shiny sparkles had a small dot on which a life form like ours was evolving? 

It makes my life seem all the more futile. 

The Curtis Rule

Although Richard Curtis's film 'About Time', didn't rock my world so to speak (although it did make me want to weep, but luckily I refrained), it did have a wonderfully great idea at its centre. 

It's this: 'Live each day as if you are living it for the second time'. 

The time travel element of the film sees a character have a normal day, with all the usual stresses and strains but then he lives it again and savours each moment. Time with family, the small details, nature are all there to be savoured but we barely stop to appreciate these wonders until they are lost to memory. 

It's one thing that I can say I've done with my son. I give him my full attention every moment I'm with him. Tomorrow is too late. Every year you will wish you were turning the birthday age before again. So savour it. 

As I always say "everything changes" as nothing will stay the same. 

Christmas Day Experiment

The simplest way to explain my idea about how to spend this Christmas Day will be best illustrated by telling you how I spent Christmas Day 2012. I woke up around 6:30am as my body is programmed to think its work everyday. I got up and dropped onto the sofa and put on the latest Call Of Duty multiplayer which I'd had for over a month but which many would just be receiving on this Xmas morning. The idea being that I can level up faster as I know the maps better.  Around 8:30am my ex wife would ring to say that they are all up and I could speak to my step children and my (then) 4 year old son. This moment makes Christmas Day bearable. I talk and listen and end with "well have a great day and I'll see you tomorrow". This makes me feel comforted for the rest of Christmas Day. 

So by 11am I turned  off the PS3 and went to my mums house where my sister, who is in her twenties now, lives. With my sister still getting up and ready for the day and my mother having to prepare dinner for all the guests, I kinda just sit around. My Christmas will be tomorrow on Boxing Day when I have my son. 

The dinner guests arrived and are all from my mums husbands side of the family and they talk amongst themselves and are polite to me as always. I felt a little out of place amongst this other family as my mum fought with the kitchen. This usually lasts through dinner right up until teatime when one of my brothers arrives with his family and therefore, my family. The day was almost done and so I rose and left, unsure of whether I'd stayed the correct amount of time or not. Maybe the feeling of pity at not being with my kids is only imagined as I sit alone, but it's still felt. But in myself, I'm fine. 

SO!, this Christmas, with my sister now married and not living at my mums AND not turning up there until the afternoon, I plan to stay at home until the afternoon too. This way I can play on the PS3 for longer, watch a film or two at my leisure and roll up to meet family at tea time. BUT will missing Christmas dinner at my mums ruin Christmas for me or her? 

My view is that she can concentrate on her in laws fully and then three out of four of her kids turn up to reinvigorate the afternoon. I think its a good idea. But will I get to lunch time and eat sausage and chips for example feeling pathetic? How about if I make the effort to get a Christmas dinner for one? Would that make it sad too? 

I believe I'm committed to the idea but open to it being shit. 

With families married off here and there, visiting all factions of families proves difficult. All my family gets together on Boxing Day and I have my son too which makes it properly Christmas to me. 

So in my mind December 25th is mostly a day in which I can treat myself mostly. You must remember I don't drink alcohol and if anything that's a good thing as it would always annoy me that with all the driving, I would never get a damn drink anyway. 

Overtime overtime , weekend, plans

The ghost of love...

I'm concerned, scared even, that my interest in female companionship is going to grow from 'never again' to 'if the circumstances are right'. I have brief daydreams I suppose you'd call them about having a lover again. Then I snap out if it with memories of my relationship failings or that of ex's. The idea of love is great. But it's the love that is in films, books, songs or just the first four weeks of a teenage relationship. I don't know where this new thought will lead and I don't truly know how I feel about this subtle daydream creeping in to my thinking. I'm hoping it's just a romantic fantasy to fill my thinking as I work the long days I am doing. 

In all honesty, I can't have who I want and if by some miracle I did, I wouldn't be able to keep them.  

Teens vs 40's

If anything, all this trouble about my teenage stepson has made me very glad to be 39. Being a teen is much worse. The moods and unruly emotions of love, lust, desire, hopes and dreams fill your every waking moment. 

When you're 39, all dreams have been scrapped. All there is, is this day and tomorrow. 

I prefer that. I know love for a partner is make believe and love for your children is real. I know moments are fleeting and to be enjoyed. 

I have money to do as I please. I can travel without anyone's permission. I can drink alcohol to excess. 

What's not to like? Grey hair? Balding? 

Who gives a fuck. It's better than being a teen. 

Teenage dirtbag

My stepson has the threat of being thrown out at sixteen, hanging over him like the sword of Damocles. I haven't witnessed his physical or verbal outbursts and so have to bear that in mind when I'm told he deserves this real threat from his mum. I'm worried for him that if she goes through with this surprising threat, he will go on a downward spiral of self loathing which I went on even when I was not in that situation. Maybe I will end up with a teenage stepson lodger. 

Half of me doesn't want that. 

Teenage findings

If I could take you back to my teenage bedroom in the late 80's early 90's, the first thing that would strike you is the smell. Teenage sweaty feet covered over with Lynx deodorant I would guess. If I were to show you all the things I had hidden over those difficult years it would include, if I'm going to be this honest, banned knives, 3 minty cigarettes, 3 car badges from the Beastie Boys era (none of which I had prised off), magic mushrooms (which I never consumed) and surprise surprise (not! In a teenage boys bedroom) pornography (I was surprised by the fact that upon  encountering a real woman, they didn't actually have staples in their midriff). 

All together this, in my eyes, seems like standard findings. I wasn't that odd. Teenage life is an exploration and learning has to be done In private. I don't think I did anything wrong as such but I knew I'd get a bollocking if these items were discovered, and some of them were. 

Going from boy to Man makes you do some weird things. Things that I won't even share on here. The things I did were only half of what I 'thought'. 

I'm happy to be a grown up and not have anything remotely interesting hidden these days. 

So my heart goes out to my step son tonight as he's about to receive his bollocking for similar findings. 

It's just part of learning the world. 

Birth to adulthood

No sooner had a returned home on Monday evening from Halifax dropping my son off, I had to return to collect my stepson. There's been a row between him and his mum and I raced to the rescue. It was obvious that both parties needed to cool off. I returned again to mine and let him tell me his version of the row. A couple of hours later and I let his mother know where he was, but to be fair she was still mad at him. 

I tried to be as unjudgemental as I could while pointing him to his errors. But he's a teenager, growing into a man awkwardly just like all the others. I was glad I could help a little in getting him out if the grief for a night. But I had to drag him out if bed at 7am and plonk him at the train station whether he liked that or not. Today he will just have his mother to face afresh. Birth is never easy. The birth to adulthood is also painful. 

Residual thoughts

A fresh week would usually mean a fresh start but thoughts of my 'not fitting the mould' seems prevalent this morning. I got married in the usual way but carry battle scars from relationships in my brain. What use does thinking these memories through do? My mistakes and revelations are set in stone in the past now. Only the future can be written. I think it's only right to concentrate on the present actually so I believe it's all ok. 

I must make the journey to visit my sister in her new house as I visit everyone else and complain that they don't visit me and I'm the unsociable one. There's also the fact that she will move away with her husbands job as a soldier making that a certainty.  Ah families. 

I guess this is what people think is what I need, someone to talk to and cuddle. But a partner means hassle for me. 

Sisters wedding.

My sisters wedding went very well I must say. The speeches shuck something loose on me though. The groom gave a moving speech on a number of issues which I managed to not weep at by concentrating on pretending to mess with the camcorder with which I was recording them. 

But during the night, high in red bull, I woke and his words came flooding back causing tears to wet my face and pillow. Words of love and respect had blossomed in my half asleep brain and I pictured myself having to give a speech about being proud of my son etc and I knew it wouldn't be possible without bawling. My respect for the groom grew more from his speech and how well he handled it. 

I think some of my tears were also from actually telling my step kids that I loved them both on the night and a bit by the thoughts of how my marriage failed. I guess I just all in all felt more in touch with my feelings. I ended up cursing brain as I tried and failed to get back to sleep. I watched Netflix here and there from 5am. 

My Sunday morning consisted of meeting a bloke in relation to our ghost endeavours and then returning my suit. As I was in Halifax I thought I would try the Vue cinema. The ticket for parking wouldn't allow me to just pay for two or three hours but made the minimum payment be £5.50 for six hours. This was a Sunday too!. I paid and was annoyed. I followed the stairs downwards and outside before I found the cinema entrance. Then I rode the winding escalators back up to the box office. I saw the next film up was one I wasn't particularly arsed about. I figured this would cost another £9 to see this film and so I thought I'd cut my losses and lose over an hours wait, so I just left. I was still annoyed that I'd paid £5.50 for ten minutes parking but I was minimising damage. 

I even skipped my idea to drive to my free showings at cine world in favour if going home. 

My afternoon was mostly a case of watching LUTHER series 3, reading my book and eating. 

I'm looking forward to a three day weekend with my son next weekend. Balance will be restored. 

Life roles onwards as normal for me now. As other peoples lives change and fluctuate, I try and keep mine the same. 

My sisters father and girlfriend spoke to me last night and came up with the opinion that I would meet another woman in my life and I couldn't stop it from happening. This was based on their joint opinion that I was ' too young to be on my own'. It was frustrating for me because I was adamant that I'd found happiness and yet they were convinced that they knew best. The thing is, I could accept that they knew better because they had more life experience than I. 

I guess who was right will be determined in the future. 

Nights anxiety.

Every once in a while I get these evenings where I wake at 3am. Here's the latest one. Having worked all Sunday, had a busy day with the kids after work on Monday, worked 14 hours Tuesday, had my son which led to a school run and then more overtime on a stressful job, I've found this week to be one of being at full throttle. Add to this that I am one day away from my sisters wedding which I find a daunting prospect to sort out my son, my self and my step kids for. My head is full of wondering how things are going to go. I finished GTA 5 last night, which if anything, was an anticlimax. Our ghost team seems to have run out of steam at the moment as our team leaders passion seems to have evaporated. It's a tiring time for all as summer ends and the dark, wet English autumn takes hold. My personal bubble remains intact which reminds me of a line I heard in 'The Iceman' last night. Chris Evans's character said "I only feel alone around other people" which sums me up wonderfully and so makes the wedding day seem like a very lonely proposition. 

I think once next week is upon me I will feel some relief. Christmas isn't a concern I'm very happy to say. 

I feel omnipresent at work having worked so many hours overtime this year and it's been greatly rewarding financially but hard on my mind mentally. I don't take my holidays currently in favour of the cash and it means I never get a really good rest for a few days. But I'm not complaining , it is as I choose. Just saying I'm a bit dazed. 

I also think this wedding has sparked up thoughts of my own and it's always with a tinge of regret that it faded the way it did. My son remains a constant joy and pillar of strength for me and I must congratulate myself on still not drinking nearly two and a half years on. I'm at my strongest, I believe. I've also rediscovered music this year after keeping it at a distance for 18 months for fear of it leading to bad thoughts or sadness. 

But Eminem's new single Rap God for example, has lit the fire in my belly once more and I feel alive again. Bands like Losers and others have injected some much needed passion into me. Passion for life that is, not for women, as women are destroyers of living. I should say partners of either sex really as I don't mean women only. So it would be better to say 'relationships'. We got there in the end eh? Maybe I should try sleep some more. 

03:23 am. 

Mondays over...

Monday at work involved a hurdle of a job but I negotiated the tricky printing of it and was not late collecting my son. We made our way to his grandmas and watched half of Iron Man 3 until we are tea and then played together. There were many conversational distractions as I discussed the upcoming wedding of my sister and her house move. I took my boy home and gave my stepson a drum lesson where he had a bad week playing to music out of time as if he couldn't even hear the song. He seems to refuse to count in time. 

I called at Asda to buy a toaster for work on my way home and then showered and stuck rigidly to my 'tv off' Monday rule and completed my write up of a recent investigation. So now I have nothing major hanging over me to concentrate on and this is good news. 

My PPS mate rang to give dates for us visiting a schools psychology class but all the options were when I was working and I wouldn't budge on when I was free. I wasn't being a dick, it's just that it's tricky to correspond with school times and it's bit worth losing a days paid holiday for the sake of 90 mins. 

I'm always not pleasing someone. 

Investigation at The Picture House

The Picture House Cellar, Keighley.

Visit 3. 

Visit 2 was a quiet one. two things of note did occur though. Firstly as we closed our protection down, Kevin jolted from our joined hands as he had been kicked on the leg painfully. 

Secondly, as David showed Sue the cellar area, Sue felt the old brick columns down there and felt a spirit hand stroke the back of her own. 

Our third visit consisted of Si, Sue, Kevin and the return of Gill. In addition we were joined by a different member of staff, a young girl called Julia. Julia was intrigued but nervous. More nervous in fact by cellars in general and wanted to join in the session but had to acclimatise first. 

As the team set up equipment around the lower underground areas which was made up of approximately 5 areas of differing sizes, Sue saw a shadow cross a doorway which led to nowhere these days  but had been a passageway of more importance in times gone by. Sue set up her recording equipment to face this doorway. I rang my singing bowl in order to charge the air with vibrations in order to prompt better EVP's. We had to be aware of the high electrical readings particularly at one end of the room and also be aware that the cinema upstairs was currently in use. 

We did protection from the group and people reported swaying feelings. Si led the board in asking out and kevin reported battery drain as Si was explaining how our instruments could be affected by spirits. Some of us get a smell in the room which is described as food. This is narrowed down to mashed potato or veg smells. It turns out to be a vent which leads in to the cellar from outside where the take away is on the main road. Si is unsure but thinks he sees shadows in various places as he speaks. The glass moves and then Kevin also sees a shadow in an adjacent room. Si asked me to check for a buzzing noise and i find a natural explanation. Julia says her eyes have started watering for some reason as the glass spells D-W-A-R-F. Si hurriedly asks to be blindfolded as this word is spelling because he doesn't want to be accused of leading the glass subconsciously. This is because two weeks earlier, as we were about to conduct visit 2, Si gave me a sealed envelope in which he had written some information which had popped into his head about what we may come up against. Si admitted that some of it was probably too weird to have relevance. 

(I looked for the envelope but i'd left it at home). After the investigation, I discovered that one of the things Si had written was DWARF. The temperature drops in the room and Kevin reports being colder on one side of him as he films. The glass goes to G but seems to have no relevance. We discover the 'dwarf' is a female. Sue asks for her name but only gets V,D,V spelt, then NO. 

Si is struggling to keep his finger on the glass but it's safe for him to remove the blindfold anyway. 

The board users give their names as this can sometimes convince the spirit to give their names.

When Si says 'Si' the glass doesn't move to the next person. "Si" NO

"OK Simon" NO

"Alright, what is my name then?" G-R-E-E-N. This refers to Si's moniker 'The Green Man' which the spirits seemed to have dubbed him for weeks now. 

Chris "Can you tell us a word that green represents?" L-I-G-H-T. This is correct and is answered correctly by different spirits at differing locations and with different people on the board.

As Gill asks "What colour am I?" Si gets a static shock.

One of our meters bleeps and it takes us a second to realise that it's our meter which is notoriously difficult to set off. Whatever energy has activated it must be strong. If it was natural, our other meters should have also had some activation of some kind. This time it's Gill's turn to see a shadow. Our most difficult meter makes 2 beeps and then 7 in a row. I pull out a camera and ask for it to be done again but it doesn't happen. We set up a camera next to that meter form now on but to no avail on this night. 

I ask for a name again but the room is very still and quiet. Si says "did you hear that?" 

We believe a new spirit has joined us as the glass is moving differently and is in fact going to each corner of the table in turn. 

Sue "Did you stroke my hand last time?" YES   

  "Did you stroke my hair earlier?" No answer. 

  "How many spirits are here now?" 2

Julia says she is happy in herself and yet has a strong urge to weep. 

Si "Is there ever any more than 2 down here?" NO.

Only this new MALE presence claims to ever be seen by anybody. 

I know the reported evidence and so i ask the spirit "How do you interact with people ho come down here? There is one main piece of activity, what is it?" D-O-O-R. 

This is correct. The door is left open and it's shut upon return. The door is closed often and so i throw a curve ball to test the spirit. "What do you do with the door, always leave it OPEN?" YES.

(aha, i think, i've caught you out)

Si "Is there someone else who shuts it?" YES. (damn)

Chris "Who?" 

Si "Is it a living human?" NO

"Is it the other spirit?" YES. 

"So you (the male) open it and the other one shuts it?" YES

Gill "Sounds like a marriage" YES. 

We still have no real details as such. We push on. 

Si "Were you married then?" YES

Sue "In what year?" 

Julia "Was it a happy marriage?" 

Si feels instinctively that it was 'a marriage of convenience'. 

Si "You made money from her didn't you?" 

Sue "Was she on the stage? You made a show of her?" a strong YES. 

"Did she love you?" NO

"Did you love her?" NO

Julia cannot seem to stop being a little upset even though she is actually fine. It would seem she is feeling the emotions of this female. Gill sees a face near Kevin. Si feels a breeze and then Gill senses a presence near her. Kevin reports a big draft this time. There's a palpable sense of apprehension in the air as if something big is about to happen. Nothing of major note occurs though. Julia runs with the feelings she is feeling and expresses that she believes the female felt used and bitter about the male. Gill hears a breath but on review i don't hear one on audio.

Julia "I feel her pain and anger at being used".

We concentrate back on the board. With this man seeming to have taken over the board, Si asks for the little lady to return to the board. I heard a noise behind me at the time but hear nothing on review. The glass corners the board again and Si feels a coldness behind him as the glass draws a small square in the centre of the table and expands its size with each side it draws, until it fills the board.   

"What is your name please?" B-O-S-S. My audio picks up a tuneful whistling which isn't apparent at the time. 

"Are you male?" YES

A feeling of coldness and unease creeps over most of us. 

Chris "Can we look at your wife then? What's the price of admission?" As i try to get a response, my audio picks up a further fragment of that same whistling but we don't hear a a thing at the time. 

There is silence for a few minutes. Kevin hears a whispering  i dismiss him at the time but upon review i think I may have heard a weak thing too. The square glass movement has now become the signature of this male presence  being at the board and so it's him we are talking to now still. 

As we try and ask questions to trace some information back, the spirit is refusing to play ball, aware of our scheme. Instead we play 'lose the fingers' where the spirit is playfully challenged  to shake the teams fingers off the glass by moving violently. 

The glass moves and shakes all the fingers off. I have the cheek to ask for it to do it again as i was distracted by my notes. With the team holding on harder this time, the glass speeds up, shoving backwards and forwards in a straight line until it simply tips over knocking all the fingers off and the teams accept defeat and give BOSS a round of applause. We suggest that BOSS exploited the lady and he agrees. BOSS seems fine about it though and we have to understand that to some degree,it was different times and ways years ago. 

Julia "She didn't like being looked at" Is this why the female closes the door?"

Sue "Did you have kids?" NO

Chris "How come you are down in this cellar?"

"I'd rather find you in the stage area with the others" YES

"Are you gonna tell me that the other three lady spirits (From visit 1) didn't allow you up there?" YES

"ok, i've set up your answers enough now"  H..O.. The spirit seems to change it's mind in telling us something about himself. 

We try and level the playing field by turning the tables from asking the spirit all the questions. Chris "OK, Is there anything we can do for you? "

"Are you happy down here?" H-O-M-E

"You'd like to return home?" YES

'Where do you consider home to be my friend?" F-R-A-N-C-E

Chris "Which part?" L-E-O-N. (i've found a leon in France in a city called Les Landes, could this be it?)

"Was the lady also from France?" NO

Kevin hears four breaths. 

Sue 'Were you a 'victim' yourself in some way too?" YES

"A victim of what? Just of the times in general?" YES

Gill feels something near her. 

Chris "Were you a family act?" YES

David checks in from working in the cinema and confirms that the place has been a variety venue once. Si "If you went home to France, you'd be separated from the lady, could you do that?" 

"Which is more important, going home or being the boss of the little lady?" my recordings pick up a singular whistle. There's no answer to Si on the board. 

David, Si and I chat and i record whistling under our voices. unaware of the whistling, i try and get the lady back to the board. As we recall our findings to David, Julia wells up again. Is the lady drawing near again? 

Sue and Gill feel cold.

I hear a female HHMMM on audio. 

Si "Do you want us to go?" Julia is overwhelmed once more and says "Crying is stupid and so I know this is not my emotion"

There's an odd noise and someone asks "Did you hear that?"

Out of the blue, Si asks "Why did you cut her hair?" 

Sue "Was it to make her look like a boy?" 

Gill feels as if someone is toying with her hair. 

The lady is finally on the glass again. 

Chris "Would you give us your name now?" nothing. 

Kevin "What year were you here?" nothing. 

Gill "Was your hair as long as mine? nothing.

We discuss the possibility of crossing these twos spirits together and if it's even possible,  

Gill "Do you love him?"

The lady may still love him but can"t forgive him it seems. 

4-5 is spelt. 

"45 was when you died?" 

Chris "Can you tell us what 45 represents?" 

Gills hair is still being stroked. 

T-I-M-E-S

"45 Times is the amount of what?" 

Gill "He put you on stage?" NO

Sue "He cheated on you?" NO

'What year it was?" NO

Si "Did something happen 45 times?" YES

"What happened?" M-E-N

Gill "She was raped?" Julia says she had that in her head as well.

It appears that BOSS pimped her out as a boy for men. 

Si "Did it ever happen down here at this location?" 2 (Twice)

"Did you perform here often?" NO

"Did you go somewhere after?" L-E-E-D-S

So the duo was a touring act. 

This lady chose to marry BOSS but chose badly.

 Gill "Could you please tell us where you're from?'   D-E-V-O-N (Julia finished this word aloud)

"How'd you meet him?" S-H-I-P

He had been a passenger on the ship she had once worked on. Boss seems to be felt around by us but he's allowing this communication to continue. 

We convince the lady to use the glass as a pen instead of moving to letters. 

S-A-R-A-H is spelt out elegantly and clearly as we ask. 

Chris "Would you allow us your last name?" H-A-R-P-E-R. a lovely R was made with the glass i recall. 

David speaks out and makes peace with the spirits in the area letting them know they are welcome. 

Si "Does David shut the door for you?" NO

"Would you prefer him to close the door for you?" YES. David says he'll close it. 

David leaves to continue his work.

Si explains that BOSS no longer has a hold over the lady and that there are other spirits at this location but Sarah doesn't leave the cellar. Julia reports back pain but this may be natural. 

Sarah and BOSS don't actively ask us to move them on so we don't. 

The energies are low now as Gill feels a stabbing in her heart and Si gets prodded in the back. 

The glass goes to GOODBYE and we wrap up. 

A weird nights information peels another onion layer off the Picture House. 

We leave unaware of all the noises we actually recorded. 

C Whitehouse 2013.  

 

Sunday write off

It's Sunday and I've been at work all day. It's been a case of wiping the day from existence mentally and knowing the cash will turn up one day. I need some new clothes anyway so this scratches that need. It just means that it's gone from Saturday to Monday in a blink. 

I tried to make my day still work for me in that I finished my write up for last nights paranormal experiment night where we had used the ouija board without protection and tried Scrying with interesting results. I also read a good portion of a book I'm desperate to finish in the hope of the next one being better. I collected my suit from town for my sisters wedding and that fits ok now. Other than that my son and I went to watch Turbo at the cinema and he was restless throughout which he admitted was due to tiredness. We swapped heartbeats too so I could feel my heart beat today at work and picture him in my centre. It's just a little thing we do. 

I think the little bit of Sunday that I have left will be a mix of Luther and GTA5. Tiredness has crawled onto my face as my ten hour day reaches its conclusion. A coffee will spur me on until bed later. 

I have a TV Off night tomorrow hopefully and that means I will finish my last investigation write up. We have agreed to cancel a Halloween event due to lack of interest. I happen to believe it fell flat due to the client having a high ticket price from the start. 

Personally I welcome not having to do it. I need to really stop getting into things I won't end up wanting to take part in.

In the not too distant future there is a book being released which I contributed towards slightly and I'm excited about seeing my name in print. Anyway, I'm homewards bound now. Bye 

GTA Online

After finally getting on GTA 5 online enough to create a character, then almost have a race, it froze. Last night I actually had the first car race and was terrible but still came 3rd out of 6. Then we all had a mission to collect some drugs where upon we were shot at. I soon realised how this game was working although four others left the game. The other player picked up the drugs first leaving my character to accompany them to the drop point. My next task involved going to a clothes shop where four other players were too. I bought new clothes and left to get into my car and one of the players had started offing the online gamers. I got in my car and failed to run him over. Later I was looking for a new ride when I was mown down in the street by another player. I saw that its possible to turn off the ability to kill or be killed but I thought that might be too dull. 

I played 6 others in various events but it ended up just myself and one other doing a figure 8 race through the streets. 

I left too after an hour and was a little bewildered by the online mode. When I go back I'll have an idea of what's going on at least. 

Maybe I will grow to love it but at the moment it feels a little stale. 

Unplanned

Another working day which ran on more than expected. I 'rolled with the punches' just like my new mantra said. I was home eventually to watch 'Excision' where an attractive actress gets made up to play an ugly outcast. She has a surgeon obsession and this is her disturbing tale. I shoved the last of a tiger loaf down with tomato soup even though I wasn't overly hungry. After my un needed tea I ate unnecessary biscuits too. This food slowly digested as I played GTA5 online to mixed results, followed by watching Luther. 

I was drawn to microwave popcorn at 9pm and I just couldn't help myself. I put netflix on and really enjoyed BADDIEL AND SKINNER UNPLANNED from 2001, the year I met my wife. In other words a life time ago. I hope netflix put more up to view. Frank Skinner is probably my favourite comedian. My stomach groaned and gurgled as I laid in bed with the ipad on my chest. I was tired, yet, I watched Korn perform on Jimmy Kimmel or was it Fallon? 

Then interviews with Rob Zombie, Sherry Moon Zombie and Trent Reznor. 

Finally I slept.....and heavily. 

Films on Tuesday

After leaving work later than  expected due to the van being borrowed late, I went to Asda and shopped wisely for deals and headed home for tea. When you buy all those nice goodies, it's difficult to not sample them all straight away. I plonked myself down and started to watch The Impossible which is about a tsunami in Asia. After the water had hit I found a break in the story at a good time to drive through to the cinema to see How I Live Now which has a great actress, saoirse Ronan (spelt wrong no doubt), sleep with her cousin. It was a bland film if you're not a teen. I'm familiar with the staff at cineworld and they probably recognise me too. I was tired when I got home to finish watching The Impossible and only managed half of Luther before I switched it off and let sleep overcome me. 

A strange dream followed where I had an ex work mate wanting to do something unholy to me. I awoke thankful for it having been a dream. 

Odd.

 

Love ...years later

Hearing The Wannadies singing 'you and me always and forever' is something of a kick in the crotch. It used to represent meeting and staying with your loved one. Now it feels like The Wizard from Oz being revealed as nothing more than just some bloke. 

Love....pah! 

A thought on improving

I must say I'm feeling pretty positive about myself to the point where I'm thinking "maybe people don't think of me as shit as I think they do". After all we all gave issues and after driving past a guy yesterday who looked rough and angry I thought, god I'm higher up the ladder than that poor chap. So perhaps my next reinvention is to give a little back? Only a little mind! 

Perhaps lose some of my deep seated internal cynicism.  Chip away at the self loathing narcissism and be more neutral. 

Son, stepson , suit

The weekend started off with a journey to Halifax for my final fitting of my suit for my sisters wedding. Unfortunately the van hadn't delivered them yet so I was very early for my son at school instead. I read some of my book. I had come prepared for such eventualities. 

My son wanted to play Robo Knight after watching the new episode of Power a Rangers Megaforce which is his latest Obsession. Friday seemed to disappear too quickly and it was soon his bedtime and due to an excesses of GTA 5 through the week, I went to bed just after 9 too. 

We decided to have a lazy day on Saturday and stay in our bedclothes until after lunch. We played Minecraft and tried desperately to see the Ender Dragon but to no avail.

My son remembered I'd said they sold zombie costumes at Pudsey so we drove over and bought one for him. He was very happy with it and wore it home excitedly but no one at home seemed to bat an eyelid to him. I dropped my son off telling him he was the best son in the world to which he replied "I Know" like Han Solo. 

My teenage stepson came back to mine and we are pizza and muffins washed down with Pepsi while taking missions in turns on GTA 5. We briefly spoke about fathers and marriages and that gave me a small opportunity to express his and his sisters importance in my life and allowed me to say a fragment of 'my side'. 

5am Sunday I was listening to podcasts and watching a friend do a video of him playing a PC computer game. My stepson rose out of her as I updated my Apple TV box and built on Minecraft again. 

After brevilles for lunch we drove to Halifax to have final fitting of suit. I hated it in all honesty. I looked like a fat magician although my stepson said "I thought you looked alright". 

Because the trousers were too big, we left empty handed. 

I dropped him off and went to watch FILTH which I enjoyed. I left the cinema with an evil stare and felt like taking drugs and drinking again. 

But I made do with a frothy coffee. 

I ran down the clock of the weekend with an episode of Luther and yet more GTA. 

Sleep.