I dug out my box of Star Wars toys for my son and it was a historic moment as Empire Strikes Back played in the background. Inevitably we had a lightsabre fight. It was 9:50pm by the time I put him to bed and I'm going to bed too. The late nights are catching up on me. I guess I'm more relaxed and settled this weekend too. Putting him to bed he seemed chuffed when I told him that I loved him more than anything in the world. I tell him I love him over and over and he must be sick of hearing it. I find it so strange that I feel so strongly about him and yet there is no second place for my affections, just memories of having to fake love on past girlfriends. At least I can tell myself I am capable of loving someone. I wouldn't have guessed I would ever feel so opposed to settling down with a person. Losing your freedom is like losing a limb. 
Ok, now I really must sleep.