Cinema and sports thoughts.

I drove (carefully) to the cinema to watch IRON MAN 3 and can report that its brilliant. Just which Marvel superhero movie will drop the ball? Thor 2? Captain America 2? I may go back and see it in 3-D with my son yet but we'll see. I'm looking forward to a quiet weekend with my boy actually as the weather forecast isn't great. On Sunday I'm giving the cinema a miss (I think) as my sister is coming to my house to talk about paying bills when you live in your own home. Plus I have my mate coming to move a behemoth of a tv to the tip in his car. Still a quiet one I think you'll agree.
I'm feeling the pleasures of living alone but the one thing you don't get is the option to share your pleasure with a partner. The idea of two of you both witnessing a relaxing afternoon is a good one but not possible. A/ because I'm single and B/ because inevitably the second person doesn't quite see it how you do anyway.
But if life were perfect then two people could feel EXACTLY the same feelings at the same time.
10:59pm.
Sometimes I don't recognise myself. I guess I'm so used to being a fuck up that when I'm plain sailing through life I think I must be missing something. I've had no bad moods or had others mess up my day recently. This laying low was definitely a good idea but the upshot is you feel literally invisible. But since that is what I aim for generally, I'm not going to moan. If no one can see me then no one can spoil my day.
How long have I been sober now? Erm coming up 22 months I believe. No drink or drugs or silliness has put me wrong in all that time. No tears, no depression, no self harm............am I fixed? No, not deep inside. I'm not wired any different it's just that certain destructive circuits have been without power (alcohol) for so long they feel utterly inactive and powerless.
Oh before I go I must tell you this.
This morning on the school run my son was saying "why do girls do gymnastics instead of PE? It's just moving!" This made me realise that I've said that about the Olympics pretty much (glorified playing out), and he shares my observations without us having and that conversation. Dancing and sports and just pointless 'moving'.
Anyway , I'm off to sleep.