Once again into the dusk washed evening,
I voyage sober and settled on my comfortable chariot.
With thought and nostalgia tumbling together,
I walk towards the next sunset in peace.
(2011)

This little poem is my first.
It is inspired by Allen Ginsberg. 

It was extra hit today as my half a day at work transpired to have three hours overtime thrust upon it in the form of overtime. 
This means that I will be paid it at the end of Oct which will benefit me well. I hope the next few months go as swimmingly as the previous ones. There is always the thought that some great dark cloud will turn up tomorrow and darken your life for a while. 
I pray that doesn't happen. I will enjoy tonight as much as a sober man can just in case. 
(I miss the booze but have no desire to jump back aboard that ship).

At what point does a person call themselves a writer? Is it if a person is paid to write? I am not paid to write. 
Is it a person who seems to have a natural flair for writing? I am very limited in my writing prowess. 
I consider myself a writer because A/ a writer is what I aspire to be and B/ because I write over 1000 words a day in different places such as diaries of differing degrees and on Internet pages. This Blog has a steady all time low daily hit rate of two visits a day. But rather than make me want to give up because no one is listening. It makes me believe that I can write more truthfully about a further reaching selection of topics. I hope that I am approaching a new phase with my Blog that I can go more internally subject wise and pierce the skin of lies that we all wear to each other. So long as I am not face to face I cam be honest. But there's always the remaining screen of truth armour. Bold talk is one thing but the truth is ugly and hard to take. 
I am growing in my own confidence in myself recently and continue to do so. 
The next evolution of this project is to write as if I was already dead and gone. I would hope that I convey my life adequately on these pages. I have barely scratched the surface though. There's something very romantic about writing. It also caters to my self absorption  and allows me to be the centre of attention in a world where obey I matter.  I'm eleven days from three months sobriety and I think about drink a lot. Nearly daily. I shall discuss this soon.

I watched 'Precious' whilst having my tea and was unprepared for what the film was about. I so nearly cried into my chips. Luckily I pulled it together and enjoyed the film but won't watch it again. So I will be trying to do some writing now on my competition story. I even started to do some Christmas shopping today. This is the earliest that I have started but with that and fingers crossed getting a small helping bit of cash I should be able to have a stress free Xmas. With the baking sun outside today it didn't feel like last days of September. As I left nursery this morning I could see my son waving at me and even heard him shouting "Bye Dad" through the open window. He makes me happy and proud in every fibre of my being. The other day we were having such a laugh together that he laughed so much no sound came out for a moment. It was the single most beautiful thing that I have ever witnessed. God bless my little Autobot. 

This heatwave in October was a nice surprise. I had taken to wearing my coat the week before. 
I had an email from Living Spirits notifying me of a writing competition to he entered for Halloween. I decided I would enter and now have a writing task most evenings. Last night was a night off with my son though so tonight I will be busy. 
A friend notified me through his charity business that a very large  charity in Huddersfield has been given our name to do paranormal evenings. I need to talk to a couple of people and approach this charity directly. Fingers crossed we can come up with something. 

I have hit an antisocial feeling this morning. I just feel a little frazzled by an over enthusiastic participant in our investigation on Friday. I think I have withdrawn into my shell. Still in good spirits though. For some reason the burning of a double helping of chillicon carne still weighs heavy on my shoulders. Isn't it stupid what can bother you. 
It's almost October and I have had three days off this year. I only hope that I can cash those days in towards Christmas. Even one weeks worth would help. I look forward to the new years clean slate. 

I made a large chilli con Carne but the stupid twat of an electric hob chose to blacken the bottom and rise the burnt taste through the whole shitting lot. I was really fucked off, as you may tell. So beans on toast was my back up lunch. I played a Transformers game with my son and a box full of over one hundred metal cars and a cardboard box for over five hours. He just wouldn't stop. 
I then watched 'The Kings Speech' which had been thrust at me against my will and yes I enjoyed it. So I followed it up with 'the Veteran', a film that I looked forward to but was disappointed  in. I have borrowed four books on top of the ones which I were already reading. So I need TV and distractions off on some evenings. 
I feel I have too many plates to spin each day but at the end of the day I feel happy so I'll keep it this way. 

Today I went to the budget superstores Aldi and Iceland and although the food is cheaper, the staff are always too fast when  throwing your products at you in the bagging area. what exactly is the rush? Even when it's just you in the queue they launch your yogurts and tins or bread loaves at you with a velocity that should only be reserved for ''Shitty pass the parcel'. 
Then there's the staff themselves, usually some young spotty fuckwit who is talking to another nob end about how shitfaced they got at the bus stop last night. They are actually worse than the customers. It's as if because I am willing to pay less for my shopping, I must carebless about what it looks like when it eventually gets shoved in my mouth. Perhaps the regular customers are not bothered once they have had their heroin, but I do care. What's more I need to have it done slowly so I have time to put the goods into the  bags. I would love to wait until they are scanning the last four items and then hurry up and speedily take out my card and shove it in the machine too soon while entering my code and then leaving the store before they have had a chance to charge. 

I'm sat in the dentists waiting room. I'm waiting for a man to drill in my face. This I have to pay for. The dentist doesn't scare me though. I've never suffered from toothaches. There used to be a calming goldfish tank to help you relax. That's gone, leaving only the people sitting looking frightened and listening to the quiet and frankly unnerving radio station wash over us. Ahh what's that new noise? A nearby drilling noise. That familiar shrill whine. Not accompanied by a scream thankfully.  Can I change my mind. 
I lied about not being bothered. 
Let's get this over with for at least another year. I don't eat on the day of a dental visit. I shall picture having a full plateful when I close my eyes in the chair. 

I have a headache today which is unusual. I hope that it's a clue as to the spirits we may encounter tonight, telling me that someone had a head trauma. I have no desire to be psychic though. And I'm not by the way. ( even though spirits tell my team that I am). Maybe a lie down is on order after I eat. But.. That means I won't watch a film today. Oh I can't decide. 
I think my nervous mind is just trying to keep busy whilst anxiously waiting the drill man. 
What else? 
I've been drinking a bottle of water everyday and I do feel better for it. I used to drink loads of water before my son was born and then I exchanged it for coffee. I also take vitamins everyday. All this doesn't stop my hair falling out. In fact  what's left of my fringe is now conspiring against me. My fringe flops forward to cover up the hair follicles underneath that are diving off my scalp onto the floor. 
My body is a bastard. And you can tell it I said so. 

I went home after work and got ready to go and visit a close by family who are frightened in their own home. Si and I used equipment and glass divination to communicate with a spirit which turned out to be a passed on family member as I suspected. They now feel a little better and have took a large step towards an understanding of the paranormal which they previously didn't believe in. 
I arrived home and watched 'The Break Up' and saw some truth from my own experience in such matters,  amongst the films observations. I have been the one to stand there and look helpless as I'm being berated. Then I made false promises to be different but knew it wasn't possible. I don't miss being a let down. 
Movie romances are what I believed in and to find out that they were a lie just means that I don't want a romance then. I have a son now and so what do I need a relationship for? Bitterness and resentment have become strangers to me and so why would I ask them to come back. 

Once again when the sting in the take of the coffees had worn off I was left droopy eyed. I didn't get my son to bed before 10:30pm and being Optimus Prime to his Arcee took a lot out of me. I have an investigation tomorrow at the last minute where a lady is scared to be in her home alone. She claims that she gets grabbed and that there's poltergeist activity in her flat. It sounds fascinating but could just as easily be nonsense. I am excited either way to have a chance to find out. Ok I really am tired now. I keep closing my eyes and feeling the warm blood in my eyelids send me off to sleep so there's nothing else for it......bed..now.

Monday night at the cinema was a sorry affair. There was a queue of two people to fall in behind. However I still had wait patiently whilst they decided which vat of coke they would share. Then their noisy tortilla chips would be complimented by which dips? Both, why not. Oh and shall we get a popcorn? Yes, large please? For fucks sake I'm not sitting next to your crunching, slurping and piss breaks every ten mins.
They watched a different film anyway. Only four people were already seated when I sat down for the crude languages film called '30 minutes or less'. One of them was an elderly man with flat cap and cane. He had come to enjoy his cinema swear fest. I looked at him and saw my future. Maybe it was me like the time travel aspect of 2001: a Space Odyssey where the lead character somehow overlaps himself at different ages. Fair play to the old guy. 
It was 11:30 when I set off after film number two (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) . The trampled popcorn still lay in the gents toilet doorway. The desolate lobby/foyer? only contained the tired staff all glancing at each other to see if everyone was still awake. I walked back to my van with only the echo of my footsteps for company, passed the car park security guards who stared ashen faced at their monitors of power and got in the van homewards. 

A bit of an awakening today as I worked out bills. I'm left with less than I thought towards food. I've lived on less though and my choices these days are sensible options. I'm enjoying being in control of my life right down to penny pinching. Christmas is the next threat financially but I will get through it. There are still things I can sacrifice such as Sky TV which would save me £35 a month. What would help is overtime at work but the current climate makes this unlikely. 
I have a double cinema film visit planned tonight. '30 seconds or less' followed by 'Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy' . Then tomorrow I need to write about ten film reviews for my little hobby site. 
I'm still sober and still in good spirits. 

Got up and out of bed to watch 'Switchblade Romance' to fond it a French treat to rival 'Halloween'. I had this on a video ten years ago or more and still never saw it. 
After collecting my little boy we were straight into pirate mode. We had all the living room be different islands and a large box with a door cut into it which was pirate prison. It was fun I must admit. 
The following day I took him to the local film museum where in the entrance they have all the history of games consoles and we played Lego Star Wars, Quark plus sonic the hedgehog.it was good playing those with him but it's not something I am going to introduce him to any time soon. I would rather he not be anti social like me. We had lots of cuddles and laughs and so now that I have dropped him off I feel content in myself that I've been a good dad. 

After work I had myself a film marathon. I'm on film number four in a row. So far I've watched 'Machete', 'The Town', 'The Karate Kid' remake and 'Basement'. I do enjoy being transported away into the filmiverse. I love my cave away from the world and prying eyes. I catch myself trying tom see if I feel lonely and am just having myself on, but it really seems that I am content in my own company. Tomorrow I am having my baby boy earlier and longer. Very much looking forward to that. 
I've done a painting tonight too which is of a photo on my friends Tumblr pages. I haven't shown him yet as I have to finish it. 
The weather is slowly turning and the clammy hand of autumn and winter is stretching to grasp us. All I worry about is cash-flow in time for Xmas. I am penny pinching in the hope for a stress free Xmas holiday season. Life is simple at the moment and I still maintain my alcohol free mind. 
I started to compile my scrap book of ghost investigation clippings from the newspapers today. I hope in twelve months time it looks impressive. I got our latest one today. It shows me in a derelict corridor in Leeds with a large green light coming towards me as I  hold out my gauss meter. A professional photographer took it and therefore it really boosted our profile in time for the Leeds event. We actually got a second fully booked visit off the back of the newspaper article. 

I'm over halfway through this transitional year. I've been so very lucky to have not encountered bad times. I hope my life continues on this course for many years. I feel as if I have been released from shackles, not from the marriage though as I thought it was, but from myself. I feel there's a new set of rules know that are tailored to make me a better version of me. For example it's the little things that I am more thankful for like food in the freezer or the time to sit and do some painting. As long as I have enough money to meet my bills etc then that's fine. 
I don't want to return to eating plates of cheap frozen mixed veg, which was an all time low in the mid nineties. It helps all round that I cannot afford alcohol. It has done me the world of good. 
I really just want to make me son proud of me.

THE DARKNESS (visit one)

The Darkness hadn't left the boy alone entirely. It just hung back in the top corners of the room and watched. The boy thought that he was fixed and that his days of troubles were over but he was wrong. The Darkness enjoyed toying with the boy briefly some evenings when the boy was tired and the room was quiet. A brief breeze across his head as if a spiders web had dropped from the ceiling and landed on his forehead pleased the oppressive force. 
Oh how the boy wrote incessantly about  being an improved person and not having any 'demons' left, made the Darkness smile, half with disbelief at the naivety and half with  an excitement of what was to come. He would have his dark days again, his shadow would see to that. 

Today our ghost team was in the Yorkshire Evening Post newspaper on page 3 and on the website with video clips of our investigation. It was exciting for us to see things starting to take motion. Our next ghost event is sold out and hopefully the coverage will sell out the next one. 
It just shows how far passion can get you if you persist. 
The end of a hurricane swept past last night. A house had it's roof ripped off near where my boy live yesterday. It must've been bad. Nature cannot be tamed. Luckily my new abode is well out of the winds route. I sometimes think that people wonder what goes on behind the blinds of my house. I never open them because I watch films etc and want them shut. From the outside it looks curious. But as readers of this blog know... Nothing exciting goes on. 

Well after writing my TIME TRAVEL articles, I do feel a bit better. Like an exorcism of sorts. Maybe I should delve deeper. Life is just about doing what makes you happy. That seems easy doesn't it, only there's a hang of bastards who are trying to stop you. 

I'm so tired. It's been a long day of writing. Mondays are now my 'don't turn on the tv evening'. I get all the other bits caught up with. It's paying off I have to say. 
The Keighley news newspaper have said that they will try and send me to review popular premier film if there's a big event on and pointed me to a mag that might want my reviews. 
The Yorkshire evening post photo shoot went well and the photographer left with some strange light anomalies where my equipment picked up energies. He said there may be a bigger article on us to come. We shall see. I'm having so much fun with everything but is it tiring. Late nights every night.  
I'm still adamant that I will be single for ever and I am still sober. 
It's all going rather swimmingly.

This is a sample from my ghost adventures.

Once again we met at a private location where we often find ourselves returning. The spirits are starting to become familiar to us by name but we try to take it further each time. Si, and Sue and I were joined by two others called Kevin and Matt who are open minded and curious about the paranormal. We started the evening by setting up cameras and other equipment around the location. We decided to start down in the kitchen on this night as we had never done down there before. People always felt something down there at night when investigating and yet we just never got round to actually doing much down there other than leaving an audio recorder in there. We seemed to pick up shuffling and possible voices but because we were uncertain we had to discard the findings. 
We were setting up with all the lights on and Sue's K2 meter lit up to maximum. Then the gauss meter clicked so there was a high electrical field which had not been there moments before. This is now quite predictable at this location. There is an eagerness to communicate usually and you have to hurry to get set up. 
I left my gauss meter turned on upstairs and set a video camera recording just watching that. There was also another audio recorder sat next to the meter. I shall have to refer to what was caught upstairs whilst writing what we did at the same time in the kitchen. 

SESSION 1: Kitchen.
The five of us sit around the yes/no board in the kitchen with an IR camera recording us and an audio recorder nearby since the camera doesn't have a mic yet. We always start with 'protection' and this was done whilst we relaxed into the room. We all lightly touched the glass and asked for any spirits to move the glass to yes. Nothing happened at first. In fact ten minutes past with no movement. This is sometimes the way but we knew the spirits were around so persevered. We continued asking out and finally the glass dragged to 'YES'
"is this David?"   ''NO'
"Is it Luke?".  'YES'
"it's good to talk to you again Luke".  'YES'
"Luke, did you know we were coming?".   'YES
"How many spirits are here tonight Luke?" we counted out from one and waited for the glass to move. It moved on '7'.
"Are they the same ones that we have met before?"   'YES
The glass starts to go in a circle motion which in the past seems to be a sign of building up energy. 
"Luke do you still hang out on the back corner?".  'YES'
We are told that Luke can be found in one corner upstairs and Tom in the opposite corner. Tom was discovered by another group who briefly visited as our guests. It is said that Tom used to work here in this building in the past. 
Sue asks Luke if he can take the glass around the edge of the square table. The glass does as commanded and traces the square shape of the table. The glass starts to move in circles again and we ask if it can change direction. The glass slows quickly and starts moving in circles in the opposite direction. 
"Luke, can you speak to other spirits on your side?".  'YES'
"Are you aware that we visit other places and communicate with other passed on spirits?   'YES'
"So did you know that we have been to the West Riding Pub in Leeds?".  'YES'
Sue is convinced that someone has sat next to her on the bench. 
"Do you know Mary, a spirit from the pub in Leeds?"   'YES'
"Has Mary told you that we have visited her?".  'YES'
"OK, we are going to the West Riding Pub next week to arrange an event, what day are we meant to be going?"  Luke does not stop the glass on the correct day. 
"Will you  tell Mary that we are coming and that we thank her for not breaking many things in the bar anymore". 'YES'

(the camera upstairs has been recording the gauss meter click every now and again. In the review I also heard a strange tapping sound like  that of dogs nails on the concrete floor. I don't know what it was ultimately but I also confess that it was looped at times like the noise was going on repeat. It may have been the tape I was recording on fraying and the edge and causing the noise inside the camcorder. If that was to blame then the noise will be over the next footage that I review with this tape too no matter what I have recorded on it. Otherwise it was a noise I caught which I couldn't explain.)

A few minutes later and we asked Luke to go and effect our equipment upstairs. We looked at the time and stayed quiet for a minute. The glass had moved to YES accepting the challenge. Interestingly it was at this time that my meter did slowly build from one click to three and on and on until it shrieked with it's crackly noise at full measurement which is a reading that you would get off a kitchen appliance which is working. The glass had not moved in the time that we sat quiet as if there was no spirits present at that moment. 
"Please move the glass to yes when you have done it". 'YES'
"Is there someone sat next to Sue?".  'YES"
"Is it you Luke?".  'YES'
We ask Luke a few questions to find out if he likes our group and would he come with us  to help on other investigations. This would prove interesting if evidence of this presented itself. Luke says he will help us at our next event in Haworth so time will tell. 
Luke remembers Haworth because he was from this area in life. We communicate further and learn some bits we already knew and try and expand on them. 
Luke says he is 19. Born in 1970. He died in 1989 from a motorbike accident where he was driving in the September of that year. 
We ask Luke to drop the temperature on my thermometer and nothing happens. Si asks the same thing on his laser thermometer and the start reading is 16.6 degrees C. 
The temperature drops on the red dot area at the end of the laser to 16.4 then 16.2. Si prompts Luke to make it a round 16 and it complies. 
"Luke do you come in visitation?".  'YES' so he obviously chooses to come here and is not stuck because of his accident. 
"Is there light where you are?".  'YES'
"Would you use the  description 'Heaven'?".  'YES'
"Is moving the glass, the easiest way for you to communicate?".  'YES'
(upstairs the strange repetitive tapping is louder than before, but still has the same rhythmic pattern at times and then stop starts a little)
"Do you enter this building through a doorway so to speak in a certain part of the location?". 'YES' 
We list different parts of the location and he says that he comes in through one office in particular. When asked if Luke can open and shut a door upstairs for us he replies that he can and will. Nothing is discovered out of the ordinary though. 
(the gauss meter clicks once and then again and then flies up to maximum before slowly backing down again to nothing)
"were you unsure of us the first time we spoke to you Luke because you were reticent to let us even know your name?". 'YES'
"But do you trust us now?". 'YES'
"Have you spoken to others on your side?".  'YES'
We ask if the spirit knows a relative of one of our guests and he says he does so we ask him to pick out his name from a list that we say. The correct name is signalled by the glass moving to 'YES'.
(upstairs there is more electrical energy playing with the meter)

We ask Luke if there are spirits at Sue's house and the room goes quiet and the glass feels empty. We wonder if he has in some way gone to look. Then it springs to life again and moves to 'NO'. 
We then ask if there are spirits at one of our guests. The table goes quiet again for around twenty seconds. Then the glass moves to  'YES' so we count and wait for movement. Luke signifies that their are 5 spirits at the house and they are all female two of whom our guest is related to and the others are former residents at the house. 
The guest himself confirms ladies names that the spirit agrees with after a list of false names and real names are mixed and said in a list.
We decide to take a break. 
 (during the review of my camcorder footage there were many single clicks on the gauss meter and also large readings at times. A rooms standard reading is 0.1mg but I had readings of 10mg. With the strange noises on my camcorder audio as well as the dictaphone, there seems to have been activity caught but not identified.)

During the break I am alone on the kitchen. I decide to speak quietly but out loud to any  spirit. "If you can hear my voice please look at how many fingers I am holding up." I hold up three fingers on my right hand. "I will ask my team to ask you how many fingers I held up". I thought it was worth a shot since the answer could be between one and ten.

SESSION 2: Large Machine Room.
We do protection again just in case as well as helping to build energies in the room. 
The gauss meter starts to click now and again throughout the session. We try table tipping. The five of us lightly place our finger tips on the table. I feel my legs getting cold which is a good sign of spirit approaching according to some. Kevin feels someone touch his head and Matt says that he felt someone prod his back.  We sit patiently waiting for the table to work until our patience is wearing thin. So Si whistles half a tune hoping for a whistle back. The gauss clicks hurriedly then stops. Silence. It can be frustrating at times but we don't really understand how hard is it for spirit to do things. 
We ask if the glass should be used instead. "give us a sign if you want us to go back to the glass, a click or something"
The meter goes "click...click.... Click, click,click,click"
We put the glass on the table and the glass moves straight away. 
Sue leads communication. "Is this Luke?". 'NO'
"Is this Norman?".  'NO'
"Is this Grandad Bill?".  'NO'
"Is this David?".  'YES'
"Hello David, is it nice to have us back?".  'YES'
"Can you move the glass around the edges of the table?".  He does.
"Was it you who touched Kevin's head?". 'YES'
"And Matt's back?" 'YES'
"Did you touch them because they are new?".  'YES'
"Have you missed us?".  'YES'
"How many spirits are with us now?". The answer comes at 7.
I take my finger off the glass for the next experiment. 
"Chris says he held up an amount of  fingers in the kitchen, if you saw him, how many was he holding up?...1?...2?...3?" the glass moved to yes and they all looked at me. 
"Correct" I said. 
I start to confirm details. 
"Am I right in remembering that your name is David Smith?".  'YES' (a very strong movement by the glass).
"Do you have a dog here with you?" (a dog has been heard, and felt since we started to frequent this building.) 'YES'
Matt feels a cold spot on his legs. "Was that your dog?" he asks.  'YES'
"Can you get your dog to come and walk passed our legs again?".  'YES'
My calves feel colder. I actually start to shiver because the temperature has dropped around my legs. 
"Please take the glass to the nearest side of the table to where your dog is"
The glass moves to my edge. 
Matt asks "Will you get your dog to sit next to my legs?"
Matt feels it touch his legs. "It's as if it's sat next to me with it's head on my lap!"
"I pictured your dog as a jet black dog, is that right?". 'NO'
Si says "I always pictured it as a black and White collie, I don't know why".  'YES'
Matt says "Does your dog have a White face?". 'YES'
Sue says "Can your dog lick Matts hand?" 
First Matt feels something on his leg and then his hand. Matt insists that the dog has its head on his lap again. 
We go through the alphabet to find the name of the dog. Once we find out that it begins with R we thrown out names as a guess. Sue is correct when she says Rosie.
Even Sue is a little surprised at being right first guess. The name popped into her head. This is common practice when doing this work. We seem to have names or questions pop into our heads and we just say them. Sometimes it's nothing and the spirit tells you that you're wrong. Other times you are correct but don't know where you plucked the information from. It is suggested that the spirit is putting it your head. In the cold light of day this does seem far fetched but during an investigation it does seem to prove real. The other option of course is that everyone is psychic to a degree and focusing on communication that intently that we tap into the energy. All I can say is it happens a lot and people 'guess' right to such a  degree that wild guesses seem unlikely. None of our team (as I speak) claim to be  psychic though. 

Behind us the torch that we have set down turns on and shines on us. 
After thirty seconds or so it goes off so Matt asks if it can be turned on again. The torch flashes for us. I ask if the torch will flash twice to show us it was spirit and although it only flashes dimly, it does it. 
"Does Luke prefer to talk to is downstairs?". 'YES'
Si asks about the activity downstairs earlier. 
"David, when we asked Luke about there being spirits at some of our houses it all went still, did Luke actually go to our homes and look?". There was no reply but on the table the gauss meter clicks repeatedly. 
Si feels like his chair was pushed. 
Si continues , "is it easier for you to visit places you knew in life?".  'YES'
"please light up a piece of equipment again" the torch shines brightly again as the glass gets faster and spins in large circles on the table. 
Si asks, "did you emigrate to Australia?". 'YES'
"Is Rosie from Australia?". 'YES'
I ask "were you married?".  'YES'
"Did you have children? If so please move the glass from the middle of the table and touch my hand for how many " I put my hand on the edge of the table. The glass moves to my hand and then away and then touches and then away and stops. 
"Two, is that right?".  'YES'
"Two Boys?".  'YES'
"Once you were in Australia, did you stay there?". 'YES'
"Did you die in Australia?". 'YES'
"David, is it ok for us to ask you questions about your passing?".  'YES'
We continue asking questions about what year he died and reach 1973 for when he died. 
Matt believes that he saw a dog at the top of the stairs. So he asks out
"Has Rosie just been there?". 'YES'
I continue "Do your boys still live in this area?". 'YES'
The glass starts to roll around the rim. It is quite a strange sight and so we ask that this movement is to be a signature of sorts for us to know it's David when he comes through. 
"We are told that spirits prefer for it to be dark when using the glass, is that true?". 'NO'
"so you can do it with the lights on?" 'YES'
"can we turn the lights on then?". 'YES'
I go and turn the lights on. 
"David, are you still there?". 'YES'
"Please do your rim movement again". The glass rolls on it's rim again. 
"Can all spirits move the glass in light?". 'YES'
"Do all spirits like to do communication in the dark?".  'YES'
 We ask David if he wants to try using the ghost box. He says yes but as much as we try the results are unsatisfactory. 
Time for another break.


SESSION 3: plate room. 
We sit in the smallest room so far around a table with the glass active at first, hoping to do some table tipping. 
"is there anyone here with us?".the glass moves to NO. "Very funny...who is it?"
The glass rolls around on its rim. 
"David thats your little joke then is it?, can we do some table tipping with you please?". 'NO'
"Can you stand back then and let someone else in?". YES'
Si and Matt describe hearing a noise like the sound of a tv being left on but not being able to make out the words. Three of us all hear it and yet two of us don't hear a thing. 
But then we all hear a whistle by a male. I have to say it sent a shiver down my spine because I didn't expect it and I was happy everyone else heard it. 
As much as we try to get the table to work we are left with no option but to put the glass back on top. As expected the glass moves straight away again. 
What happens at this point becomes a little unsettling. We have a spirit communicating answering questions in an unconvincing manner. It seems like someone we don't recognise and even goes so far as to admit it is not who it says it is. We all decide that it would be safer to stop communication. We all regain control as a team and treat the spirit assertively by telling it that we are closing the circle and are leaving. 
There are noises heard and a little bit of an uneasy atmosphere as we pack up. 
We leave and lock up in complete darkness and even as I take a look back at the location and expect to see a face at the window, all I see is darkness. 
Which is even more strange when we return and find the lights on two days later. On four occasions in the following three weeks I see some lights are on when someone opens up. Are they all human error? I don't know at this point. 
This location still has questions to answer. 

Chris Whitehouse. 

A rubbish nights sleep with boring dreams was had today. It got me thinking though about dreams with conversations in them. When I dream that someone is talking to me, I never know what they are going to say, and yet I wrote it. Surely I should be able to out argue them or verbally trip them up but I can't. Also I will see school companions that I had completely forgotten about in daily life, stand fully formed and then when I wake I remember them again as if I really bumped into them. The brain is a scary place. What else is it capable of. It works without 'me' in so many ways. It knows things quicker than I notice them, such as pain for example. It's weird, but understandable, how we can't make a brain. All the skin, water and other elements are on the planet yet we cannot actually construct a brain. Yet we can build a shed. 
I have just woken up, sorry for talking bollocks. 

Its gone midnight and the cogs inside my brain refuse to stop turning. Maybe it's the Pepsi or two that I had earlier or maybe im overly tired now and am excited about our photo for a Leeds newspaper tomorrow. Either way my eyes are heavy but I'm not yet sleepy. Today I made buns with my son and really enjoyed hanging out with him and playing. I then had my stepson over to stay and we stayed up to play Call of Duty. I get on with him just fine and it gives him someone to chat to. I hope to paint tomorrow afternoon for a while. I feel inspired by my last effort's mistakes as I think I can do better. TWO MONTHS without alcohol today. Well I would never have thought it possible. I've not had an overwhelming need for a drink which is strange. I only have to have a coffee or some other drink and the interest wains. The day will come when I will go the other way and always drink so I shall enjoy it whilst I have this motivation to stop. I do think that I am thinking more clearly since stopping.

September now. The end of this historic year is in sight. It's been sink or swim if I'm honest. I committed to the important decision and stuck to my guns. It's all plain sailing really unless I try to wallow, but I don't. Guilt rears it's head until I remember what came first, the need to get out or the constant bullshit. I still believe I made the correct decision. My life is more  productive and I am achieving more these days. If I get through the christmas season  unscathed then I will breathe a sigh of relief and be even calmer. Living alone still feels new but not odd  in anyway. I think my brain never truly lived with the family. There was always that inner fence that segregated me from the others.  Watching Big Brother on Tv made me wonder how I would handle it. I think endless hours of not mush happening would be quite an easy task.it would be the giddy social times when I was meant to show I was enjoying myself that I would freeze up. People would say I am hard to get to know. Quiet too. I would be quite interested to hear what other people saw in me though, the good and the bad. you never really see yourself how others do. 
This is the sanest part of my life to date. I am days away from two solid months of being 'clean' from alcohol or anything else. I feel an inner peace within the confines of my house. Perhaps the absurdity of that will be understood by people who have read my previous most open blog entries. It's such a strange thing, never getting feed back. 
Most days I tell myself that I will not look to see how many hits it gets. A normal day has about 5 page visits. Like I said recently, as long as one person reads it I will continue. Maybe even if no one does I will still continue. I still write a diary too and they are all for nothing really. In a way it is a vice of kinds. I need to get a fix of my own self each day to stay calm. To let time just disappear doing nothing or not noticing would be a crime. 
It just seems that other people seem to be living their lives better. 

I had a team member come around last night and we looked at ghost evidence which had accumulated. During an EVP session in a guests attic bedroom we asked the spirit to speak into my audio recorder. When we played the audio we heard my Gauss meter crackling as it detected electrical energy. Over the top of this there was a breathe and what sounds like "See You". We looped it over to keep hearing it and it's fascinating. I remember clearly that the four of us were quiet for this session, obviously. 

I downloaded an IPad app which records you in your sleep. When it hears something it makes a sound recording with time and date. I taught me that I go to the toilet a lot through the night. 
I don't snore though so that's something. I can use this app for catching noises in a locked off room while investigating. Quite exciting, for me.

Yet again I awoke with a cramp in my right wrist. I wriggles my fingers and it was as if I have been squeezing something as tight as possible in one hand. At first I thought the pain was where my fingers begin but in fact it is almost palm central. It frightens me that I am going to develop a claw ultimately. A half fist of a claw thats only real use is holding a torch. Rheumatism at 37, maybe, but without a slow build?, just kinda overnight. It would be just my luck. Having been in good health for so long why should it be preposterous that I would not be punished in some way? 
I did not put the tv on tonight and it is approaching midnight now as I write this and try put ghost footage onto a disc. I got through the audio and video of investigation and so now I need to type the words up in my write up. 
I enjoyed writing the TIME TRAVEL pieces recently. I was shocked at struggling to find positive moments to write about though. Every time I buy something i desire, I am excited and thrilled though. But these don't count really. He'll I enjoy getting new stationery but those are not death bed fond memories are they? 

My little boy left me soooooo tired today. So I unwound in the cinema. I watched 'Fright Night 3D' which was a good film, better than the original all round. I say all round.. The 3D was pointless. Most of the scenes are dark, so take away the effect. 3D just looks like more 2D elements stood closer to the viewer. I want properly rounded vision as if they are touchable. They all look like cardboard cutouts. 
Then I had to stand among the throng of cinema goers who need a bucket of popcorn and a gallon of liquid to be able to sit for ninety minutes. I got my ticket for 'The Guard'. The audience was over fifty. There were approximately twenty people. The man on the front row with me had a radio earpiece in from his phone. Between trailers I could hear the music and dj. Then before the film began, the guy was snoring quietly for over an hour. What was that all about? An escape from the wife? To top it off the black comedy really tickled one couple. They laughed and guffawed at the slightest amusing remark as if they had been planted. It made me, and I imagine everyone else, feel like we were boring. I cringed. I drove home like a bullet to get away from everyone. I'm still tired so I may go up soon even though it's not ten pm.

As I set off to collect my son I noticed butterflies in my stomach. Was I nervous? No. Excited? Not really. I think it was upset about being separated from my son. I don't live with him and that hurts. BUT it doesn't hurt to a degree where I give itnanymore than a brief thought. But part of me subconsciously seems to struggle with it and something kicks in when I have to face it. I knew the feeling was not apprehension at having to talk to my ex as that is remarkably not a problem.
As soon as I picked him up it all went away. He is the sun at the centre of my galaxy. We played with toys for a few hours and then I read him stories in bed. He seemed restless and not ready for bed. So I made a story up verbally about a boy like him. This backfired as it just sparked his imagination and he was more awake. He gave me strong cuddles in a play not to go to bed. We went downstairs and I made it clear his play time with me was up. He asked to go to bed finally. It means the world to me that he is upstairs here now as I write. I see him on five days of the week and so it makes me feel so lucky that I am not a once a week dad.
He asked me who my dad was tonight. It took me by surprise. I wanted to say I didn't know but that sounded worse. So I just told him his name. He went to sleep. I think I am a good father. Even the split of my marriage was for him ultimately. I can't go into it, just trust me.
I hope he has none of my angst or anti social ways. Life before him and life before him are so incredibly different that it's like two different people. He fixed me, that's the truth of it.

It sounds to me like the president of America is referred to as Barracko Bama. Like we give our school mates nick names like Stevo and Johnno. "My mate Barracko". I overheard him being spoke about and his name came across like that. I hope he is doing a good job as it was a big deal him getting in. Sadly I couldn't have a f~~k about politics. I mostly watched films today around my trip to the dentist. I need a filling, my dentist said as he practically had my chair tipped so far back that I was almost upside down. £45 for the privilege. How do I know if he doesn't say that every now and then just to boost his figures? Can you trust dentists? He told me I was brushing too hard and damaging my gums. Probably through fear of him saying I needed a filling. It put me in a bit of a mood anyway. 

TIME TRAVEL PART 6

Thinking of a second happy time has taken days. It was quite a shock to relies that there were so few times that I think of as being happy. But this one did spring up.:
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DECEMBER 31st 2000
It was New Years Eve. Snow had fallen this year meaning that nothing was happening this year to enable friends to get drunk together. I watched 'Chasing Amy' while remembering a girl called Amy from holiday. This was eleven years ago and yet I still can't talk about Amy in detail. But this had been the film she too had watched before she came on holiday to the same hotel as the rest of us in Mallorca that summer. Nothing happened of any significance with her but we spent the week or so kinda as a couple. I really can't say more. 
But this happy moment is actually about the New Years Eve evening after I had watched this film about love etc. With no meeting of friends or anything else I decided to have a bath. I
Let it be known that I hate New Years Eve as it represents a massive clunk of time sounding out life shortening. There is no more a depressing night than this, every year. The only silver lining is that New Years day is my most favourite day of the year. A clean and fresh slate comes on January 1st. A new diary and a clean page full of new potential. I soaked in the bath and stared into the bath mirror once I had shaved. I saw a face that was starting to fade. I was 26 now. My first grey hair was probably just under the skins surface waiting for the chance to push through. I was not married or did I have a girlfriend. I had never known love. 
But I was at least at peace In the bath. I didn't have to pretend to be out having a good time. I had an early night this night at about 10:30pm alone. I slept well apart from a stirring because of  the fireworks. The evening was special because it was NOT special. There was no pressure. I awoke to a new start and felt content for a day or so. I didn't get to spend New Years Eve in this way for the next ten years due to meeting the woman I was to marry in 2001. I hope this year (2011) I will recreate the Non New Years Eve night again. I may even have my son with me this time. 
It was around this time in my life when I also was single for my birthday in my early twenties that I treat myself to a special showing of "2001:A Space Odyssey" which was being shown in Cinerama at the local cinema. I got the centre seat on the front row. The screen was slightly curved so that it took in all my vision. This was also a time of being alone and yet feeling something special was happening. 
Today this is nearly every day. I have finally come to rest on the ' life lived by my rules ' ethos. It seems that I am happiest when alone. It's not the alone element so much as the no one around to spoil it part. 

The birth of my son is a highlight, looking back. But if I'm honest it was more symbolic as a great moment rather than some great event as it happened. I was also worried about what I was going to be like around my son. But I was the first human to hold his body in my arms. It was too much to take in really. We and been told that we were having a girl all the time. Yet, fate and predictions on my part seemed to say I would have a son. And against the odds, I did. Obviously that is now a great memory too. 

I opted out of married life this year to pursue a selfish indulgence in finding happiness for myself nom matter what form it took. I also discovered that my son is the reason for my being and that he  is akin to God in my world. 
37 years of mostly angst and soul searching has left me tired and bitter. I hope I can spend the next 37 redressing the balance. The last seven months have been the best of my life, but without the torturous years, things would not be as appreciated as they are. 
Time Travel Summary will follow shortly.