TIME TRAVEL PART 6

Thinking of a second happy time has taken days. It was quite a shock to relies that there were so few times that I think of as being happy. But this one did spring up.:
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DECEMBER 31st 2000
It was New Years Eve. Snow had fallen this year meaning that nothing was happening this year to enable friends to get drunk together. I watched 'Chasing Amy' while remembering a girl called Amy from holiday. This was eleven years ago and yet I still can't talk about Amy in detail. But this had been the film she too had watched before she came on holiday to the same hotel as the rest of us in Mallorca that summer. Nothing happened of any significance with her but we spent the week or so kinda as a couple. I really can't say more. 
But this happy moment is actually about the New Years Eve evening after I had watched this film about love etc. With no meeting of friends or anything else I decided to have a bath. I
Let it be known that I hate New Years Eve as it represents a massive clunk of time sounding out life shortening. There is no more a depressing night than this, every year. The only silver lining is that New Years day is my most favourite day of the year. A clean and fresh slate comes on January 1st. A new diary and a clean page full of new potential. I soaked in the bath and stared into the bath mirror once I had shaved. I saw a face that was starting to fade. I was 26 now. My first grey hair was probably just under the skins surface waiting for the chance to push through. I was not married or did I have a girlfriend. I had never known love. 
But I was at least at peace In the bath. I didn't have to pretend to be out having a good time. I had an early night this night at about 10:30pm alone. I slept well apart from a stirring because of  the fireworks. The evening was special because it was NOT special. There was no pressure. I awoke to a new start and felt content for a day or so. I didn't get to spend New Years Eve in this way for the next ten years due to meeting the woman I was to marry in 2001. I hope this year (2011) I will recreate the Non New Years Eve night again. I may even have my son with me this time. 
It was around this time in my life when I also was single for my birthday in my early twenties that I treat myself to a special showing of "2001:A Space Odyssey" which was being shown in Cinerama at the local cinema. I got the centre seat on the front row. The screen was slightly curved so that it took in all my vision. This was also a time of being alone and yet feeling something special was happening. 
Today this is nearly every day. I have finally come to rest on the ' life lived by my rules ' ethos. It seems that I am happiest when alone. It's not the alone element so much as the no one around to spoil it part. 

The birth of my son is a highlight, looking back. But if I'm honest it was more symbolic as a great moment rather than some great event as it happened. I was also worried about what I was going to be like around my son. But I was the first human to hold his body in my arms. It was too much to take in really. We and been told that we were having a girl all the time. Yet, fate and predictions on my part seemed to say I would have a son. And against the odds, I did. Obviously that is now a great memory too. 

I opted out of married life this year to pursue a selfish indulgence in finding happiness for myself nom matter what form it took. I also discovered that my son is the reason for my being and that he  is akin to God in my world. 
37 years of mostly angst and soul searching has left me tired and bitter. I hope I can spend the next 37 redressing the balance. The last seven months have been the best of my life, but without the torturous years, things would not be as appreciated as they are. 
Time Travel Summary will follow shortly.