A restless night came to an end too soon. My robot body got up and dressed as usual and hit the road to work under cover of darkness. The days hours trickled through my fingers without me looking at my iPod every five minutes. It's becoming easier not to live amongst its pages. Instead I wander the workplace like a lost soul, wearing my footwear down. 
I rushed out of the place at finishing time, over to collect my son. It's always amazing to see him run over to me. We click into playing games as soon as I pick him up, even in the ride home. Darkness crawled its way across the sky as we diverted to collect pizzas for tea at this request. Being in his company feels like home. Being at the marriage home..felt like prison. 
Every god is in his heaven. 
I played with him as always and we broke to watch the programme of what we were playing when we forgot a characters name. My brother called in after working in our area. This was the second visit in nine months so I wondered what was on his mind. Ten minutes in I think I discovered the reason. He too had our long lost sister on his mind. Our father had been in touch with him about it and it seemed to have caused a somewhat frosty conversation between my brother and my dad. 
It was good to hear that my brother was on worse terms with him than I thought and that he too felt disappointment with the old idiot. What does bother me is the fact that when I mentioned it fifteen years ago, nothing got said. 
I'm passed letting it bother me. 
Tiredness overcame my boy as I read him his third story in bed. I watched 'Stakeland' as he slept peaceful in the room I have for him. I still have bitterness in me about life but I seem to be able to be in control of it. I put this down to the lack of alcohol. Maybe I am selling myself short. Anyway I am taking my little hero to a nursery bonfire and then my stepson to a proper fire. I am plate spinning people so that I do my duty to them. I have two other people trying to contact me tonight but all my attention was on my offspring. He comes first.