The ghost investigation threw up some things that I have to take seriously. A spirit correctly identified one envelope out of three which contained the right experience I had witnessed when working over late on my own. Also an alleged spirit who knew me told our medium that I needed my eyes testing which has extreme relevance to me for the last three days or so. It also correctly gave me the initial of his 
partner, my gran, along with other snippets of meaningful info to me. I hope we have some good audio in our recordings too as well as our radio guests who came and enjoyed it. 
Four hours slumber is not enough but my body has woken me up for the day. I'm going to the cinema this morning to see 'The Muppets'. 
I keep having small moments of self doubt which can last for an hour or can last for up to two days. 
Although I have no one putting me down or telling me 'no', neither do I have somebody to tell me I'm doing things right. How will this effect me in the long term? Do we all need family and friends to assure us we are on the right path? I'm aware that self pity and self assessment are parts of me that I create and I know I have a natural battle with my thoughts but I still think I may struggle with absolutely no congratulations about anything. I keep stopping and worrying if I 'really' do want to live the rest of my days alone. It feels right for know though, I'm certain of that. 
But I also worry that I will be come a gnarled seething ball of hatred for the world if completely proved right about 'people being shit'. 
Hmmmm I guess we will find out. I think I secretly wait to hear news of other couples breaking up, it will help me know that I have done the right thing. 
I suppose I also realise the small incidental trivialities that I have stopped, such as being dragged places that I wouldn't necessarily go, like shopping etc. All the things that couples do and then talk about once back at work for instance. 

Actually though, their must be loads of singles people out there who don't have that. I just know about me only, so it feels like everyone is going through something different and better. 
I need to count my blessings. I'm not homeless. I'm not Ill. I'm warm and comfortable and have a job and a van. I have my son who I love eternally and who loves me back. 

Oh I feel better know. I need to shut my stupid face! Moan moan moan. 
(sorry to have troubled you)