Kickin back on a valentines day evening. A little bit of coke and Cypress Hill. When I say coke I do mean cola. Watching Peep Show always makes me chuckle and I'm going to be lost without it when I reach the end of current series. 
So this is where I ended up, alone.  Today being Valentines Day means it keeps coming to mind that I have created a world for myself that enables me to sneer at couples. And yet perhaps it is I who am missing out? NOPE.
I would have a girlfriend who had a switch, so that I could turn her off when I wanted to watch tv. Every time I got moaned at Too, i could just go 'FLICK' and order would be restored. 
So now I live in a questioning phase where I have to keep checking whether I am indeed in the place I meant to be. There is always a part of me that worries I will want a partner again and feel huge regret. But then I look at my diaries and see that I have not once had the feeling that having a partner is how it is in films. All a partner has been for me is someone who keeps reminding you of the things you're shit at. 
"Why don't you cuddle me?"
'Why don't you tell me you fancy me?"
"why don't you tellme you live me?"
"Why are you so self absorbed?"

"WHAT IS THIS! FUCKING QUESTION TIME?" I reply. 

No. I'm shit at relationships because I get nothing from them. Maybe I would be happy to be with someone who thought my every word was worth hanging on. Or I was really attractive. 
The reality is that without plying a woman with a strong sedative or applying beer goggles, it just ain't gonna happen. 
My bad points do not come into play when I single. 
I love with the other me in my mind. The two of us chris's sit and watch the same programmes and want to listen to the same music at the same time so we are always happy together. 
"Do you want to watch a film Chris?" "oh yes please Chris, I was just thinking that" 
"How about playing Call Of Duty in peace for four hours?" "Don't mind if we do!"
Brilliant!!

(god I hope my boy doesn't have my traits)