Well I finally made it back to these pages. With writing film reviews etc I find I'm all wrote out after with only my bedtime diary to scrawl on.
It is time to delve into my life again from the pages of diaries past. I think we reached the mid nineties before so I will start in 1995 with my next blog.
But for today I just want to recalibrate my readers.
I write these pages with as little censorship on myself as I possibly can. None of it is meant to offend which is why I don't name people unless they are in on what I am doing here.
I'm no more tortured a soul than the next person but what is undeniable are these two things.
1/ my love for my son
2/ everyone else makes me feel uncomfortable with myself
I was only ever truly focused on being married and in love and having children.
I admit that I overlapped girlfriends early on in a race to find my best suitor.
It was going to be a Miracle for me to find someone who I agreed to marry.
I was 26 when I met my wife and my self harm was becoming something which I was battling.
I conquered it with her help and because I loved the kids she had already.
Our relationship lasted a decade and I don't regret it at all. Mostly because we had my son.
I am the most complete I have ever felt. But with that certainty of who I was came our separation which I think it's fair to say we both agreed on.
But it's the first 28 years of my life which I think are rich in twisted narcissism and self discovery which I enjoy revisiting and sharing to hopefully show you that we all go through shit to reach our inner peace.
It also fuels my self obsession and OCD logging of everything that happens so that I myself can read it back and learn more about myself.
Enjoy. Xx or fuck off.
Cw.
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