Last day of 2013. Tick tick tick.

It's 8:15am and my mind is wondering about what to do with 2014. But the real decision I've already made is not to pressure myself. My first thought of the morning was to 'live in the present' which is harder that is sounds. Our brains are forever 'remembering' or 'planning ahead' for the day. I just want to live day 1 as day 1. That's not to say planning won't take place on a day to day basis .....but I want to be free of hang ups from the past. 

Today however, is still 2013, so I can still reflect. 

I have set my daily ipod reminder to do two things: tell me daily to drink one glass of water and tell me monthly to take a photo of my son in the same place, holding a little card saying 'January 2014' and so on. Achieving these two tasks will really improve my life and they are so very easy to do......if reminded. On top of that....less is more as I have been saying. Less rules set, the better. I want to not weigh myself down with tasks such as 2013's 'watch 365 films in 365 days', which although I completed, was still quite a weight on me. I want to allow myself to waste a little time. 

I spend each hour spinning plates, for example. I'll watch an episode each if three or four Netflix series and then watch a film, followed by washing up or something with my hands. Whilst doing the chores I will listen to my podcast which I have about four of weekly. It's like Tarzan jumping from vine to vine. To find myself just sat....even for ten minutes...I fill with a dread that I'm allowing my life to drip away down the drain. While it's probably mostly a good thing, productivity wise, it does go too far. I'd like to have a light walk sometimes but I view it as time wasted when I could be watching a series or getting further in a book. But exercise is important and something I don't attack full on. I'm much better at sitting still. Sitting still would be my super power if I was a shit superhero. 

Well there goes another 15 minutes. That is my writing done for the day if I want to leave it at that. It's much easier to write when I'm off work. 

I have my son at lunchtime, over night and into New Year's Day. Today or tomorrow we may eat out somewhere. I'll see what he says. 

I hope to be also leave all negative thoughts towards myself in 2013 too. I'm happy in myself and it's up to others to embrace that for themselves. 

It's been a good year......but 2014 will be better. 

Writing burst

Well here is a 'writing burst' exercise where you write for ten minutes, not worrying about the quality. I write everything pretty much that way anyway. Today i awoke at 4am and watched 3 episodes of The Office US before switching on my new electric blanket again and dropping off until 10am. i got up and washed my bedcovers along with my sons so that i could bang them on the radiators to dry. I believe i read for 35 minutes-Abarat. i still have to finish off my second reading sitting after writing this. I then turned on my ps3 and played The Last Of Us until i reached the part with the 'clickers' which i could not kill easily until a lot of attempts and a little help from YOUTUBE. It is a spare day to myself today and im utilising it as best as i can. i considered going to the cinema to see The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty but decided i would make better use of the time by watching The Wonder Years on Netflix- 3 episodes. 

This writing exercise is just one attempt at getting properly inspired to write....well......anything. i have half baked ideas, especially as i read myself, but they come to nothing. like everything else (except film watching), i don't keep up the effort required to finish. Watching 380 films this year has been my biggest achievement. I am setting no goals for the coming year. 

well thats 10 minutes......

catch you later. 

End of 2013 thoughts

It must have been past ten pm last night as tiredness crept into my eyes as caffeine subsided and my thoughts turned to my newly warmed bed. I had received an electric blanket from my mum for Christmas and had soon wondered how I'd lived without one. Anyway, as my legs agitated me even while on the footstool, I swapped my unused leather armchair with my much used and worn cushioned couch. A few inches too wide for its new location, my couch sat awkwardly at an angle which made it look daft. My armchair was nicely positioned right in front of my tv. I cast a glance to see if the couch would go across the opposite wall to where it currently sat and set about moving it a second time. A tidy up followed and then I sat for another half an hour with my newly set up front room. It felt good having a change in my surroundings. 

I awoke at 4am from a dream where I was an actor who kissed Jennifer Lawrence on the cheek. Also in my dream I heard 'Stand Inside Your Love' by The Smashing Pumpkins- a great song. I watched the last two episodes of Breaking Bad series 4 on my ipad in my bed. Then I returned to sleep once more. 

At 8:30am I got up and tidied some more before reading Clive Barker's 'Abarat'. 

It's too early to vacuum but that is next on my agenda. With this year drawing to a close, my mind is looking to my favourite day of the year- New Year's Day. I think my approach to next year is to not have any other direction other than 'not to be so hard on myself by making resolutions'. I want the year to be a breeze and an escape from my own expectations. I'm not ready to have a new partner, that much is clear, but more of an interaction with society- friends in particular- would be a step forward. 

I'm in hopeful spirits today that next year will be a good one (although bad news must be an ever more likely prospect mustn't it? As time moves on)

 

Xmas eve

Christmas Eve and all through the house, 

Not a creature was stirring ....

But I was... I'm off to work god dammit

All is well

The weekend before Xmas 2013 was a welcome relax alongside taking my son to a birthday party at The Big Blue Frog play area and delivering cards to friends and family. I also spontaneously bought a final gift for my boy, which was a Nintendo Wii of all things. 

My present to myself was a Bose soundlink mini, which rocks my world currently. Today is my only hurdle. I have a rubbish job to print before my time off begins- but I'll get through it and what's more, I'll be glad when it's done. I'm juggling watching netflix (breaking bad 4 and Arrow 1) with playing Call Of Duty Ghosts and Beyond Two Souls plus reading Clive Barker's Abarat (again). 

These things are bringing me lots of pleasure. 

I'm really looking forward to the new year. ALL IS WELL...which is awesome. 

Giddiness and smellyness

Giddiness prevailed this evening as my sons happy and hyper mood led to us commentating over Spiderman 3 in funny ways. We were both laughing hard at each other till we could barely breath. The Christmas excitement has set in tonight. 

Whoa! Hold the front page! I've just found I can download Minecraft to my ps3 for free! I'm off. 

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I went to bed and watched Ghost Lab which made me order a camcorder from  eBay which I hope I receive before Christmas. I never got around to showering away the white spirit smell from work and since I mostly are garlic bread for tea tonight..... I stink. 

It's 3am and I'm awake again which is going to be a massive mistake given that I'm  watching Anchorman 2 tonight until midnight. 

Only two more normal days at work though so sod it. 

A Romantic Fear

Hello Blog. I've been living 'in the moment' so much what with overtime engulfing my many waking moments that it's meant I have little time to formulate ideas, let alone write them down. Money is rolling in and I'm really happy and grateful. The exhaustion of the moment is making me a walking zombie though. Today is Sunday and I jumped out of bed and got to work at 6:50am. The work itself almost physically wore me down to the point of personal injury. 

So after that, late in the afternoon, I raced home, showered and jumped in the van to go see Don Jon followed by In Fear. 

I'm currently awaiting the second of those films. I may try and watch Gravity again after that but we'll just have to see. 

I've become rather isolated by life (of my own making) recently and it's made me question what will become of me. The film Detachment had a line about senility where an old guy asked how he was to make new memories while in the old folks home's bedroom. 

The same kinda goes for me. I'm only 39 and having signed off on relationships, have I signed off on life? 

I worry that I'm going to miss opportunities to live. But it's only in the hope of avoiding further pain. 

Life and living scares me. 

That's the basic truth. 

After wave of feeling.

Am I in the corner of the universe looking out at all the weirdness of others or is the universe looking into the corner to see me sat alone being weird? Certain obligatory meetings I have with others always leave me feeling bad about myself. I'm uninvolved in others trivial lives. I am always distant and I pass through their lives at odd times like Haley's comet. 

I've had a good weekend which today involved my stepson and I going to watch the high frame rate version of The Hobbit which I didn't enjoy the look of as it seemed I was on stage with the actors rather than the characters. 

I'll just stick to my local cinema outings for the foreseeable future. It's good to be so close to him (and my step daughter) still, it makes me feel I have more of a value in the world. I mean well and that should count for something. 

Whenever I've been in company I get this string feeling of needing to redress the balance. I don't want to be seen as anti social but the distance grows with each passing month. I'm missed less too which helps from their perspective. 

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Just don't ask

Life on this side of the planet is pleasant. No earthquakes or killer animals to be concerned with. The UK is a quiet splat of rock sticking out of the sea. My part of England is a tree lined countryside. My life within that area is quiet and happy. What have I got to moan about? 

Too much overtime at work? Don't have an iPhone? Can't quite work the central heating right? 

First. World. Problems. 

I'm happy to say that I do stop myself from getting to moany of late because I appreciate that many have it worse. 

But like anyone else, if you ask me what's wrong, I'll think of something. 

Quick catch up

I worked another Sunday this weekend which means I still haven't had enough rest. After finally fulfilling my ambition to watch 365 films in one year I spent my few spare hours playing Lego Marvel Superheroes opening up new characters for my son. 

My boiler is being replaced and that's left me with no hot water or radiators for days and so I've had on one plug in heater and water bottles. It's not been too bad, but I'll be happy to have a warm upstairs again. I'm looking forward to having Christmas week off and relaxing. 

Happy  birthday to my wonderful stepson. We are meeting up tonight for a few hours. It's been thirteen years since I met him. 

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We went to the Vue cinema in Halifax to watch Gravity 3-D (my third viewing). The screen was every bit as big as the price = £25! 

But it was an all round good experience. The screen and surround sound was better. But being allocated a seat was weird. 

My heating is working now too so all is returned to normal, well, overtime still hangs around. 

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After our PPS visit to The Locks on Saturday night we found that a camcorder which never works properly at this location, works perfectly when not there. Was something stopping us from recording? I still have audio to review for EVP's. 

December 1. 2013

This weekend has been a lovely chance to reset the clock on my routine. Just having a proper weekend for a change has been just the tonic to balance my energy levels and get a grip on myself. The last weeks have been tough on me and the work has been shit. But I'm ready for more this coming week. I've watched a few films this weekend and I'm out of the door in a moment to watch the remake of Carrie. I've been so organised that even though it's only December the 1st, I've stared wrapping presents up for Xmas. My son and I had a great time as ever playing as characters who were actually also playing the PS3, which is a but if a headf***. I've lost some hours to Call Of Duty ghosts which I find better than the multiplayer mode. I think it's my job to be apart from the world, at least I know where I belong and I'm ok with it. There was a minor disappointment last week but even I can see that the bigger picture shows things going more my way. Christmas will be pleasant. 

The double cinema trip to round off my weekend made for an enjoyable but weepy end. Saving Mr Banks had us all wet eyed in the dark. Even listening to Neds Atomic Dustbin on the drive home had me almost in tears. I think this being single and withdrawn is making me feel that my life is over BUT the thought of being in a relationship with reality is just not going to happen. I feel like I've cashed in my chips ....but I'm sure I'm happier than the other side of the fence. Maybe it's just loneliness. But nobody could actually share my feelings exactly as I need them to. I go round on circles.

I know one thing.....my son is the flaming torch which keeps the demons away. I came out of 'Banks' wanting to create even more memories with him. 

But now it's bedtime. 

And relax.

This weekend has been a good bit of relaxation after weeks of working harder than normal. Many many hours were frittered away playing Lego Marvel Superheroes together and then acting out the story as ourselves. My son stayed an extra night too so it was more of the same until Sunday lunch when he decided to get back into my bed, fully dressed and watch some Power Rangers Space episodes on my IPad. This afternoon I'm a guest on Drystone Radio for the first time. I'm looking forward to it actually after it being almost ten months off the last radio station I was on. My patience  has been reset. 

I'm trying hard not to worry about work tomorrow but it's been such a hard task of a massive new job that it's looming over me like a urine filled cloud. 

The year is entering its coldest segment and although snow hasn't arrived, the temperature is bitter and many have cold symptoms. 

All is well with me still but I've been too busy to enjoy it. I need time for daily reflection to keep my demons in check. 

Unsleeping

It's 4am. Gone are the days where I'd toss and turn in the darkness until dawn. With the internet available, which also never sleeps, I get to browse or view all manner of entertainment until I can try sleep again. The reason I'm awake has some a lot to do with a badly timed Cantonese takeaway to round off my overtime and cinema day. Dehydration and continued digestion is always the outcome. Add to this the fact that some of my writing is now in print in the shops courtesy of a writer who has written about ghosts and history of Bingley. I had been asked to write a little piece about Pennine Paranormal. I am hoping to purchase said book this week as it's something that will mean a lot to me, seeing that. A third point which may be why I'm awake is that I was invited to co host a show on Drystone Radio with an ex colleague from when I was on Jam-Radio. So my mind is whirring with the possibility of doing radio contribution again. 

I'd been concerned about my lack of interaction with the real world of late and this is probably just what I need to level out to full satisfaction. The need for creativity and making people know i'm alive will be satiated once more. 

I hope this all means 2014 will be one in which I achieve stuff to be proud of. 

 

Indifference

After being at work on Sunday, it left Monday not feeling like a Monday. Even after having my son as usual, I couldn't quite place the day in my head. 

My plans for a cinema double bill tonight have been threatened from two angles. Firstly, overtime could be expected and secondly I have now received COD Ghosts for PS3. Two reasons which both have their pluses. 

As I returned my boy last night and stood chatting to step daughter and my ex wife, it felt exactly as it had three years ago but without the agony of not being able to leave. The feeling of pleasant indifference is what makes it absolutely fine now that we are apart and was in many ways one of the reasons we didn't work. My life has featured indifference greatly, be it how my father treated his kids or how I have viewed so many people in my life so far. 

'Indifference' is a surprisingly versatile thing. It can be used as a 'not bothered either way' feeling. It can be a defensive Shield against situations which are trying to attack you. It can also be a weapon which really hurts like when my father used it towards me. 

It's quite a remarkable thing to have in your arsenal. 

 

Too busy to

Oh man, all this overtime is wearing me out. I'm not complaining though, just explaining where I'm at. I had to finally leave the heating on this morning. I can't be as cold as this week in a morning again this year. Up and off to work in the dark and going home in the dark makes the days seem to fly. 

I've made a note to self, not to bother messaging my brother because he hasn't replied to any of the last five. 

Also the same goes for my ex wife who has dropped her responses even though there's never been a fall out or cross word. 

I have my suspicions that she may have split with her boyfriend but there are unconfirmed. 

So yeah, two people who I will leave to contact me. 

I'm very much looking forward to seeing my boy tonight. I see him every second day or more and still relish being with him. 

There was a study on the radio yesterday about 90% of sons saying their dad was their hero. I tell my son he's my hero every time I have him. 

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Well I've been working so hard, I've really struggled to get a blog entry down. I got a headache yesterday at 1pm and even drinking water and then coffees wouldn't shift it so I realised it was over tiredness. Another thirteen and a half hour day under my belt and I arrived home, showered and went to bed around 8pm. 

Today I woke without the headache and feel wonderfully refreshed. 

Finally I have my heating on at home after leaving it off for as long as I could. The summer warmth is definitely long gone. 

I'm still trying to get gaming done and I'm currently awaiting Call Of Duty Ghosts coming in the post. My stepson is staying over this weekend too and so hopefully we will enjoy each other's company. 

God even now I'm too busy to...

Lou Reed (so far so good)

Lou reed died this week aged 71. A musician who had influenced many of the bands I grew up liking but who was actually 'before my time', my record buying time I mean. However, once when I was in London with my wife during the 2000's, my then wife and I were crossing the road next to a doddery old man who looked like 'peak' Lou Reed but somewhat deflated. His wife seemed at least 10 to 15 years younger than this man. I watched this pensioner cross the road and later checked my story out with a guy from work who was a fan. Lou Reed did have a much younger woman, was in London and was now old. 

I looked at this Star and felt a bit sorry for him. Time had decayed him just like everyone else. At no point did he check me out and think to himself 'look there's that bloke who writes a blog no one reads'. 

Time has aged me too of course. 

When I heard he'd died this week it brought this memory back to mind. He had only had one more decade in him when I saw him last (and first). Everyone's time is running out and we only have a limited window until our life fades out. 

Mortality is quite the motivator. 

Have I done all I could have? 

Well, I've done things I shouldn't have in my twenties and since apologised for most of them. 

Am I doing all I could be doing these days? 

I think I am actually. I could die where I stand and my affairs would be in order pretty much.  

Did I find happiness whilst here?

 Ten fold  because of my son. 

So far, so good. 

2 nights, 2 museums.

 

I had my son from lunchtime on Friday until teatime on Sunday and it made for a great weekend. We initially rushed home to play the newly downloaded demo of Lego Marvel Superheroes on PS3 and then watched some Power Rangers Megaforce. Add to this some playing make believe and Friday was taken care of. 

On Saturday my son started to watch episode 1 of every Power Rangers series on Netflix. It took him until Sunday to finish all 20 types but I was proud of this obsessive geeky streak in him considering he's only 5. The middle part of our day was taken up with five hours in Eureka! which is a children's learning museum in Halifax. It cost the two of us £22 to enter but then we got our receipt turned into a years free pass. With it being so local to us, we can hang out when we like , which makes it good value. We had an enjoyable time pretending my son was a doctor and I was his helper who he was teaching about the human body etc. it raised some discussion over how babies got out of a woman's tummy (I suggested a 'baby hole') but thankfully not in. 

Just a great day.

Then after a lie in on Sunday morning we called to visit a mate of mine for an hour and then headed to the media museum. 

The Doctor Who exhibition had started that very day and we entered the floor where it was first. There were two families colouring in some Who related sheets. Other wandering kids held pop up paper Daleks which looked devastatingly brittle. A few steps into this area and my boy said he wanted to go to his usual favourite area instead. One where we go every time. I did what he wanted. We visited every area first, leaving the Doctor Who level until last. When we returned it was locked for the day. Ah the irony. 

Still, we had a good time. The rain bucketed down outside and in the south of the UK, floods and storms raged on that night causing havoc. 

I spent my evening watching a film or two and was totally ready for my working week. 

Old Cavendish Court write up

Our team had the cafe and the main section of the courtyard to ourselves for the evening with the owner giving us some stories to go on before she left. She said that she had seen a tall black figure pass her out in the courtyard before and also felt that she had three spirits in the shop who she coexisted with pleasantly. The cellar had a history of a suicide by a male but again he didn't cause problems for the owner. As most of us gathered in the cafe awaiting the last of our group I set a dictaphone running in the cellar for five hours before retrieving it. I left to go outside as the last people turned up and re-entered the cafe to have people tell me of twelve footsteps coming up the stairs a moment ago. At least three people confirmed that they had  heard them. All I recorded on my dictaphone was one bump. This is strange though because if their ears heard it but not my equipment, then it was not a normal sound frequency as even in the cellar my recorder hears every word spoken by the group a lot further away and yet only picked up one bump from the footsteps climbing the cellar steps. We sit down around a large table and ask out. My recorder picks up a bump in the cellar. At the table we ask the glass to count out in rotations how many spirits there are in the building, to which it answers 19.  Sue sees a male and female looking into the café window but thinks that the public have a way through the yard, but all the gates are locked and only I have the keys. As the table upstairs makes brief contact with a 'Tony', my recorder hears a bump and then a knock. Tony was identified as a Medium friend of members of the  present circle. The next name to come forward is 'Darren'. Darren says that his son worked in this area. As I retrace my steps around the shop (where earlier I found no other electrical surges other than the fridge and microwave) I walk near one corner and my Gauss meter rises and shrieks up to four and a half Mg. for thirty five seconds and then it stops dead.  People had seen flashes of light in this corner and now we are drawn towards it. I fail to make it happen again. We ask for the spirit to go back to the Gauss metre which I have now left on a handrail. The glass indicates that yes it will do it again. All we hear is the device click briefly. The spirit is asked to go near me as I stand close to my device and I can see the needle wobbling but the sound not activating. Later when I check my photos there are lights caught in that area.  We decide to relocate to that corner where a heavy brown high topped table is for us all to stand around. There are a pile of toys over there that start to sing their electrical tune as we move a couch out of the way. The sound is coming from a box at the bottom that we cant actually touch. Two minutes later the toys sing again. Three minutes later they do it again. We are finally ready to start glass divination on this heavy table but are surprised to find the large table is tipping and so hurriedly remove the glass. This was a shock to me too as the weight in this table would have stopped me from attempting to table tip with it. However the large table rotated and leant dangerously and cold air was detected. Later photos of the table base caught lights beneath it. But it doesn’t last long enough to get more communication. We relocate again to a small table and contact 'David Peterson'. He table slides around the floor impressively but again few answers are taken. Bill has to back away from the group as he feels his body is being taken. My recorder picks up a bang in the cellar. I decide to go down the stairs alone in the dark for ten minutes while the group ask for any spirit to come down into the cellar and touch me. I sit there waiting to be touched but feel zero. 

The next name we get is 'Victoria'. She says that she has a message for the owner we cant seem to get it. Victoria says that she passed over fifty years ago. Vague answers follow and so I get frustrated and we stop. We refresh and then get David again who thinks Victoria is confused and he says that he is definitely not. David says he goes in the courtyard and the car park sometimes. We did catch a photo out in the seating area with four lights in a square formation but had no other communication. 

Any interesting communication was annoyingly brief and it was as if they didn't want to communicate with us. There seemed to be some electrical field walking around but other than that it was all vague. 

The next day though the owner said she felt a forth presence. She went down to the cellar and asked aloud who it was. A voice said 'John' in her ear. Two other members complained that they seemed to have taken an entity home with them. 

Old Hack Green write up

June 4th 2011. HACK GREEN SECRET UNDERGROUND BUNKER.

  I had found a few reports on this location when researching it and the ghost teams all seemed to talk of it being highly active. The main ways spirits manifested was either visually or physical contact. I was excited at the prospect. The journey past Nantwich became scenic and we took a quiet country lane to the location passing massive signs which read 'Secret Bunker'. It seemed rather than radars with which to find it, all that was required was a good pair of reading glasses. 

We were the first to arrive and speaking to Lucy who was running the evening we discovered that 'Nausea' and 'Fainting' was the chief way spirits affected the teams. 

West Yorkshire Paranormal Group arrived a while later after I had taken some photos around outside. 

The investigation started. My sister Becky and I were in Pat's group luckily and we made our way along a long corridor which was the spine of the top floor. At one end we stopped at the top a staircase near the toilets and the Contamination Room. Pat said that she felt this corridor was strong with spirit energy. Paul H indicated a problem with the infra red on the camera. It was due to a full battery draining. All batteries are brought full. Pat picks up on a lady with dark hair tied back and she was wearing an RAF uniform. After a change of battery Paul H announces that battery two is near dead. Teri senses a woman too. This woman is extremely distraught. Battery three is up and running. Battery three is dead. Pat asks politely that the spirit doesn't continue to drain batteries as we don't have enough to last us. Then Pat feels a movement of energy in the corridor and asks us how we feel. It feels muggy and warm like a stuffy summers night. Some of us have slight  headaches. Pats description is of static electricity pulling at her hair. We are stood in darkness and the torch which is in Pats hand illuminates  briefly and surprises us. Pat holds the gently between her fingers but the switch is actually on the base. A similar thing happened whilst I was at Bolling Hall. “Can you please do that again?” The torch flashes. Teri senses a presence stood in front of Pat and the torch comes on and stays on. Pat says that has the feeling that she fell from a great height, maybe down some stairs but not the ones that we are at. The torch goes out. Teri sees a light near Pat as she describes the actual staircase. “The stairs that I picture are wider and they descend down and to the right on their way, yet these that we stand at go to the left.” We ask if any of these names are the spirits.”Joan?...Janet...?”

“Can you please light the torch again if we say your name?” 

“Jean?...Janet?...Joan?..Juliet?” No answer. So with other stairs described we decide to show Pat the other staircase at the opposite end of the building. Pat is excited to see the ones she pictured and described. A large stairway winds in a right ways direction downwards. This stairway is painted bright yellow. Lucy explained that when in this underground building there was no natural sun driven day and night as there are no windows. So after 72 hours your body loses the sense of how long you've been in there. If you go stir crazy under these conditions, the most obvious place to kill yourself would be to throw yourself over this stairway. It's noticeably colder on these stairs and the torch lights back up. Pat asks “Why are you so upset?” The spirit is said to be absolutely distraught. 

We list options to be identified as the reason for the unhappiness. The torch indicates that its a personal life problem. We ask if this lady was involved romantically with another woman. The torch says yes and indicates it as a very emotionally intense moment of passing over and the other woman being the reason. The spirit doesn't ask to move on but is waiting for her girlfriend to come back to the building too. With a little trial and error we work our way through the alphabet for her to spell out each of the letters in her name. We land at JOAN. 

“Did you take your own life?” “NO”

“Was it the lady who you were involved with?” “YES”

Pat says again that the Joan is sobbing. It would appear that the relationship had already ended but Joan wanted to come out and profess to all her love for this woman. The other woman was ashamed. The military took a dim view of homosexuality. 

The torch changes hands to Becky as Pat becomes tearful too. Ian asks if there was an investigation carried out over the incident and Joan says NO. “Was the event covered up?” “YES”

“Did your collegues know about your relationship though?” “NO”.

Some of us hear a walkie talkie type radio noise, we ask Lucy in the office if she heard it. Lucy says that her radio just fell off her desk. I get Becky to put the torch on the floor. It lights up still and then Paul H's flashes too. Paul H asks if Joan used to work on radio communications and his torch flashes wildly. 

We move to a room close by which was and is still set out as the ladies dormitory. We sit quietly in the dark to get a feel for the room. Pat hears soft music whilst Paul H reports that he has seen the top bunk facecloth move as he filmed it. Pat now hears fluctuating Country and Western music in her head. We straighten all the beds over the fence again so that we have a more controlled area. We try to make all three top bunks symmetrically square and tidy. Now Pat has a strong sense of the music that she picks up, it's the song which goes, “Hello Mary Lou, Goodbye heart..”

Paul H sees one bed with a large imprint in it as someone had sat down on the edge but we haven't been concentrating on those beds enough. 

We are next on the lower levels of the building around the very centre of the corridor below. We enter the small cinema room and Pat sees an orb in the doorway so I stand in it to see if I get anything. The rest of our team get comfy in the cinema seats. My camera shuts down and I think that I must've run out of tape or battery but I have just changed it all ten minutes ago.  Now Pat senses a male who she describes as 'Sneaky'. She struggles to expand on that word but also hints at 'Spy'. Paul H sees a light on camera and then his camera turns off. There is a loud noise in the room and we find a cinema seat up. We put it back down to find that these seats have no play left in them to spring up or down automatically. We put all the seats down to control any more movement. Paul H's camera turns off. He starts recording to find it shut down again. Then when its on again it goes into EDIT mode which he doesn't know how to do. Pat says that he may have knocked a certain button but Paul is sure he didn't. There is a bleeping of equipment that is obviously quite common but when it continues we ask “Who's is that?” We all think it is someone else because it is not ours, we all say. We struggle to get a good communication but Teri does feel a breeze. It becomes frustrating so we move after a few photos of mine have lights on. As I leave I throw the camera over my shoulder in case something is loitering My picture is amongst the ones on the website and there is a smudge but it could be reflection only. Hey it's always worth a shot

As we leave a torch from Pats pocket has jumped quite a way in front of her and a similar thing is about to occur in the next room. 

We now go to the Government Departments Room. The room is behind a tall metal fence and is full of tables with in/out trays and computers and desk lamps. This room is cold and straight away Pat senses a female busying herself in this office. Paul H sees a light on camera and asks for it to happen again in the same place. A light rushes the camera again. “Do it again” Paul repeats and it does it immediately.  Teri and Pat report a tap sound towards the desks. I sit on a chair watching all of them face into the room. I see a light but discover that it is just Paul's walkie in his back pocket. Thirty seconds later there is a loud plastic to carpet noise and Paul discovers that his walkie is now a metre over the fence near a desk. We can see that we would have heard him accidentally rub it on the metal fencing and the fence is way too high for it to go over anyway. Interesting stuff. 

We hear a scraping sound from the back of the desk room so Paul H and I jump the fence (We are permitted to do so) and sit in the two back corners and film the rest of the team. Shortly after Paul H calls me over to him as he hears whispering but its barely audible and I don't catch any of it. 

I ask “Can you make a noise by us please?”. There is a plastic noise moderately loud just on a desk by us. We ask each other “Was that you?”

The energies seem to back off further unfortunately but the temperature seems to still fluctuate. I have since learnt how to use a piece of equipment which measures air temperature and humidity and logs the minimum and maximum change. I will use this in future investigations. Paul H says his battery has dropped down to low again. Ten minutes later Pat hears a hissing noise which represents her having spirit contact. 'Veronica Haskell' she declares. We continue to ask Veronica to show stronger evidence. We believe that we hear a low bump. Pat and other Paul think that they have heard whispering over by them. Now Paul H sees a light on camera near Pat and Ian feels a cold breeze come over him and stresses that it's unusual for him to feel such things. There is another tap on a table sound. As Pat sees a light emitting from one of the rear desks she also becomes very very cold. We decide to call a break and Teri flashes with camera and Paul H thinks that he saw a shadow stood in the far corner of the room during the flash, I guess the photo will answer that one. 

During the break Paul H and Teri call me into the ladies loo because a woman entered and walked into a person who she couldn't see. We couldn't seem to get communication again.

Everyone entered the ladies dorm and we had downloaded the song that Pat had heard, I believe by Willie Nelson. We played the song out from a laptop. We commence with a table tipping session. First we determine what action the spirit wants to indicate YES and then asks it to give us the sign for NO. Once this is established we ask questions of the two female spirits who are felt to be here. 

The table shakes and there's a light documented on camera. The table tilts at no question and stays there. When Paul H asks for the table to go down it doesn't move, until a female asks. We ask if the spirits don't like Paul H being in the female dorm and they say NO. There is another light and we determine a time of the 1950's. The ladies worked for the Local Government. Lucy explains the details that she thinks we are on to and the table strongly agrees. We come up with the name 'Veronica' possibly with the surname of 'Banks' for spirit 1. the second spirit becomes reluctant to speak but we think she is called 'Charlie' or 'Charlotte'. Lucy says that better results are got if we speak about love and relationships rather than focus on their sadness. The table stands firmly at a forty five degree angle and we almost get all contact off it. There is yet another light on camera. As Pat tells us that the girls are about 23/24 she is pushed from behind . It seems to be believed that a third entity has entered and this stops communication with spirit 2 who is scared of spirit 3. Paul H then pulls me to the bunk beds that we straightened to show me the top middle bunk has been untucked at the bottom. Lucy sees a flicker of light in the room herself. Eventually Pat gets to communicate with spirit 3 and tells him he's not nice and a bully. We all hear a bang in the corridor and Lucy recognises it as the barrier at the top of the stairs. It becomes apparent that spirit 3 had a romantic fascination with one of these women and was spurned so that is why he makes things difficult for them still. 

A group of males leave mostly girls to continue with that table session and we visit three more locations but get nothing. 4Am arrives and Becky and I start the drive home. 

The building has a lot of potential and I feel this was a quiet night for spirit and that is why I want to get back. My return is booked for July 2nd. I look forward to it. 

Old print works write up

April 9th 2011

(We are sat at one end of the large work area)

Six people arrived at an undisclosed location with an uncertainty of what they would have happen. We were pleasantly surprised at our results. We set up a camera and two dictaphones and sat around a small table to take 'Protection'. Marie sensed that there were children running about down the far end of the building. We started with glass divination on a table marked with 'Yes' and 'No'. It took barely two minutes for the glass to move towards Yes. Usually the first hour is unproductive, so it was great having something this early. One man around the building was called Bill and his Grandad, also called Bill, used to work in this building long ago. I shall have to split these Bills into Bill jr and Bill sr to distinguish them. The questions and answers contained these,

“Do the spirits need our help?”   “No” 

The glass tipped and fell onto it's side.

Once stood back up it fell onto it's side again. 

“Is there more than one spirit here?”  “Yes”

“Did you used to work in this building?”.    The glass tipped over again. We didn't know how to interpret this response.

Debbie joked,”shall we put a vodka in the glass?”  The glass moved very fast to Yes.

“Do you still come here when people work through the day?”   “Yes”

“Do you recognise anyone at the table?” The glass moved to Bill jr.

“Are you Bills Grandad?”   “Yes”

“Are you happy where you are?”    A very definite  “Yes”

Bill jr asked “Did you used to meet me from school every night?”  The glass moved fast to “Yes”

Bill, a psychic artist, is told that he is on the right path with his drawings of spirits and should continue. He only realised he was doodling the dead in the last twelve months. 

Bill jr asked “Is Norman (Bill jr's Dad) with you?”   “Yes”

The spirit seems to prefer us all to call him Grandad, so we do.

The glass doesn't stay still from this point, either moving as if it is ice skating around the table or staying in one place and yet turning on the spot. 

“Is it nice where you are?”   “Yes”

The spirit says it will help us through the night and doesn't seem to keen for us to have a coffee break. 

(We gather in a small office still using a glass on the table) 65F

Bill jr “Are you with me at all times Grandad?”   “Yes”

Marie asks a lot of questions about her spiritualist church and family and friends, some of which are also at the table. The glass at some points tips over again but we still don't know if this means a certain thing. The glass moves to Yes and No without hesitation, so we are none the wiser.

As we sit together in this office, out in the work place there are distant bangs and knocks which I go out to investigate and never hear a thing. As Marie asks questions about her being a Trance Medium, there is a banging repeatedly which gets louder and louder. This is clearly heard on my dictaphone. Some noises sound inside the room with us but also far away. The table itself shifts towards Marie. Then the table moves towards Bill who is sat opposite to Marie. I said that the spirit would get a chance to move the table later and the glass hurriedly went to YES.

“Are you enjoying tonight spirit?”    “Yes”

The glass twists on the spot which trips our fingers into each other and yet the glass itself continues to turn. When the glass moves around in a circular movement it would seem to represent “I Don't Know”.

Marie asks who she can hear mumbling out in the work place. It appears to be Norman (Bills Dad).

'Grandad' confirms it to be Norman. Bill jr says that Norman has lifted tables for him in the past in spirit. Even in my coat I feel like my back is freezing and so I ask if there is a presence sat behind me. The glass moves to “Yes” Teela (Marie's Daughter) asks if she would be able to witness this energy and the glass moves to “Yes”. Many other personal questions are asked about people around the table and answers seem to satisfy. Towards the end of this session the glass moves in a figure eight and at the same time rotates itself so that its a real problem trying to keep our fingers on for a moment. Teela asks if there is a spirit dog around,  “Yes”

I can say that I kept hearing a dog whining outside the office but I was worried that only I kept hearing it. Sometimes when one of your ears rings like a high pitch white noise naturally and you can hear it loudly but you know nobody else would hear it, that is what it felt like to me. It seemed I was hearing noises which only I could pick up at that moment. It seemed though that some of the others also had it, but not all. I am in no way a sensitive but this was interesting for me.

The moves in a circle faster and faster until it tips over. Marie asks “Will Chris get evidence on his camera this evening?”    “Yes”

Although we are talking to Bill all the time Marie ends one session saying “I must ask about a William when we get back.” Before I have got to this audio in my editing, a friend finds out himself that his Grandad used to work there and he was called William. Marie and the rest of us never ask about a William though unfortunately.

 

(we are back in the office using just fingers lightly on the table)

We sit and gather our energies for a couple of minutes and ask for the table to lift up. The table rises onto two of it's four legs. I ask for the table to lift at the other end instead, baring in mind that everyone's fingers are lightly not moving on the top of the table only. The table does as asked and raises at the opposite end. Then the table lifts onto just one leg and when asked if it can twist on one leg it proceeds to rotate three quarters of a full rotation. Someone asks if the table can stand on each one leg in turn. The table goes from leg number one to only leg two and then just number three and finally leg four. This shows that at we all faking at one point or the table is really not controlled by us. The table stands on the very point of a right angled leg. We asks for the table to jump up off the floor and levitate but sadly doesn't. We ask for the table to tip towards people by name and it does so without error. We ask for the table to be thrown over and it tips completely down with a bang. 

Finally the table is dragged under our finger tips on all four legs towards Bill jr.

We charge up a glow in the dark ball under a light and place the ball on the table. My none night vision camcorder struggles to see the evidence during this session but my eyes could see. The audio still provides interesting moments. With fingers on the table the table tips to roll the ball towards a named person and stays on the table edge each time unless allowed to fall. The table starts making strange wood creaking noises for the first time which the audio confirms on my camcorder. We take our hands off and the table continues to creak for two minutes as if its under pressure. 39 mins in the table is asked to move and it falls over, ball and dictaphone hitting the floor. We ask for a bang and I capture a soft bang. One minute later another bang is recorded. The table starts to creak without being touched and the table does not move from the very corner of the table.  

We start another session of glass divination. The glass moves freely.

“Is that Grandad bill?”   “Yes”

“Did you move the table at the end of the last session and make it creak?”   “Yes”

There follows more questions which are personal to the group and so can't be used here.

The glass spins and there is a bang outside of the office. 

“Did you make that noise outside Grandad bill?”   “Yes”

Marie hears a dog barking and says that dogs are related to spiritualist protection. 

The glass starts to spin out of control and Teela asks if the spirit would stop and it immediately stops. Then Teela asks “How fast can you go?” The glass goes as fast as I have ever seen.

Marie says “Can you stop please?” The glass stops. 

The glass continues to spin as we all hear noises outside.

As the glass spins Teela asks if it can spin in the other direction and it stops and goes in the other direction at once. I capture a noise which sounds in part like a bird outside but also like a baby crying. Two minutes later I say I hear a dog howling close by. Four minutes later I hear a dog again. 

Teela asks if the spirit can take the glass to each of the four corners of the table in turn which it does. The glass spins to a point where it falls over. We hear noises outside in the work place and ask if this is Norman and the glass says yes. Grandad Bill seems to dominate our sessions and he admits via the glass that he won't let anyone else have a go. Marie says she is hearing marching in the work place and I capture a Bang. I put the dictaphone on the floor a capture another Bang which I felt under my feet. A few more bangs are heard and felt. Debbie asks if two young boys named Thomas and James are with us and the glass responds “Yes”

“Did the boys have an accident with the trains?” (We are very close to a train track outside.)

We hear a bump. The glass moves to Yes. Three more bumps occur as we continue to a close for a break.

(We move to the other end of the work place out in a large area)

We start table tipping and have results straight away. The table crashes to the floor.

 Then the table sands onto one leg.  I ask if the table can be dragged. The table spins and pulls towards me a little so I reach out a hand and ask for the table to touch me. It twists and drags until it is touching my outstretched hand. Soon after I ask if the table will drag on all four feet it does so.  Debbie asks if it will come to her as she is in the opposite direction. The table drags a lot towards her and then tips on two legs into her. We ask if the table can be thrown over and it crashes down.

As we discuss what to try next we hear a further loud bang.

(We move into a small office again to use the Ghost box)

A ghost box is a radio which scans all the stations without ever stopping on a station therefore there is a lot of white noise and snippets of radio chatter which some believe spirits can manipulate to speak through. Where some noises can be twisted to fit what you imagine, I try to only document the words that are most roundly formed no matter what they are. This is my first time using a Ghost box.

I start the machine running just after my dictaphone but before my camcorder. As I explain to Bill jr what this machine does we hear a voice appear to say “Hiya” before I have turned the lights off. 

Here are the words which I recorded.

“Hi”

“Can you give us a name?”    “Bill”

“Losers”

“Can you say CROSS?”  “CROSS” At the time this went unnoticed.

“Bill”

“Bill”

“Bill”

“Bill”

“Can you give a name of someone around the table?”   “Chris” (female voice)

“Chris” (male voice)

“Here”

“Bedtime”

Then there is a break where we try and get the energies up again.

We start with a prayer and sit quietly and hear a knock on wood in the room.

Teela and someone else reports that they think they can feel a pulse in the table.

I tell the spirit which seems to be tiring to do what it needs to do to build its energy. The glass suddenly gets up to a moderate speed. “Can you stop the glass please?” It stops.

Another Bang in the room.

(We continue with the Ghost Box)

We ask for a name of someone around the table and I did think that I heard a Chris said twice in a gruff voice but i'm not convinced that it is not just the glass scraping on the table as it moves.

“Can you tell us a name?”    “NO”

“Chris”

“Do you like this machine?”    “NO”

“Would you like us to take it off the table?” The glass moves to Yes.

 We close down with a prayer to finish the session.  We hear a strange noise that I cannot really describe. 

As we all leave the office and chat a little my dictaphone continues to run with our faded voices in the background. 

After five minutes I capture a Breath next to the recorder. Its fascinating but creepy.

I am left alone in the building and leave my recorder running until the very last second. I talk out loud to the spirits listening that they have only a minute or so left to be heard. I capture another noise of some kind that was not heard at that moment. 

The Solar Sisters

Keplar's search for exolanet's (habitable planets orbiting a sun) has discovered 200 subjects and counting outside of our solar system and some outside the Milky Way even. In the past week they've discovered a small seven planet filled solar system kinda like a shrunken version of our own. But best of all is the nine planet system with similar spacing between planetary bodies as our own. 

Earth 2 may very well sit out there somewhere. 

I find it so fascinating and mind blowing I must say. 

It actually makes me feel sick sometimes if I think about it too hard. 

We are so insignificant. Imagine if you had been born on a planet outside of our solar system and you looked out at the nights sky. Would you imagine that one of those shiny sparkles had a small dot on which a life form like ours was evolving? 

It makes my life seem all the more futile. 

The Curtis Rule

Although Richard Curtis's film 'About Time', didn't rock my world so to speak (although it did make me want to weep, but luckily I refrained), it did have a wonderfully great idea at its centre. 

It's this: 'Live each day as if you are living it for the second time'. 

The time travel element of the film sees a character have a normal day, with all the usual stresses and strains but then he lives it again and savours each moment. Time with family, the small details, nature are all there to be savoured but we barely stop to appreciate these wonders until they are lost to memory. 

It's one thing that I can say I've done with my son. I give him my full attention every moment I'm with him. Tomorrow is too late. Every year you will wish you were turning the birthday age before again. So savour it. 

As I always say "everything changes" as nothing will stay the same. 

Christmas Day Experiment

The simplest way to explain my idea about how to spend this Christmas Day will be best illustrated by telling you how I spent Christmas Day 2012. I woke up around 6:30am as my body is programmed to think its work everyday. I got up and dropped onto the sofa and put on the latest Call Of Duty multiplayer which I'd had for over a month but which many would just be receiving on this Xmas morning. The idea being that I can level up faster as I know the maps better.  Around 8:30am my ex wife would ring to say that they are all up and I could speak to my step children and my (then) 4 year old son. This moment makes Christmas Day bearable. I talk and listen and end with "well have a great day and I'll see you tomorrow". This makes me feel comforted for the rest of Christmas Day. 

So by 11am I turned  off the PS3 and went to my mums house where my sister, who is in her twenties now, lives. With my sister still getting up and ready for the day and my mother having to prepare dinner for all the guests, I kinda just sit around. My Christmas will be tomorrow on Boxing Day when I have my son. 

The dinner guests arrived and are all from my mums husbands side of the family and they talk amongst themselves and are polite to me as always. I felt a little out of place amongst this other family as my mum fought with the kitchen. This usually lasts through dinner right up until teatime when one of my brothers arrives with his family and therefore, my family. The day was almost done and so I rose and left, unsure of whether I'd stayed the correct amount of time or not. Maybe the feeling of pity at not being with my kids is only imagined as I sit alone, but it's still felt. But in myself, I'm fine. 

SO!, this Christmas, with my sister now married and not living at my mums AND not turning up there until the afternoon, I plan to stay at home until the afternoon too. This way I can play on the PS3 for longer, watch a film or two at my leisure and roll up to meet family at tea time. BUT will missing Christmas dinner at my mums ruin Christmas for me or her? 

My view is that she can concentrate on her in laws fully and then three out of four of her kids turn up to reinvigorate the afternoon. I think its a good idea. But will I get to lunch time and eat sausage and chips for example feeling pathetic? How about if I make the effort to get a Christmas dinner for one? Would that make it sad too? 

I believe I'm committed to the idea but open to it being shit. 

With families married off here and there, visiting all factions of families proves difficult. All my family gets together on Boxing Day and I have my son too which makes it properly Christmas to me. 

So in my mind December 25th is mostly a day in which I can treat myself mostly. You must remember I don't drink alcohol and if anything that's a good thing as it would always annoy me that with all the driving, I would never get a damn drink anyway. 

Overtime overtime , weekend, plans

The ghost of love...

I'm concerned, scared even, that my interest in female companionship is going to grow from 'never again' to 'if the circumstances are right'. I have brief daydreams I suppose you'd call them about having a lover again. Then I snap out if it with memories of my relationship failings or that of ex's. The idea of love is great. But it's the love that is in films, books, songs or just the first four weeks of a teenage relationship. I don't know where this new thought will lead and I don't truly know how I feel about this subtle daydream creeping in to my thinking. I'm hoping it's just a romantic fantasy to fill my thinking as I work the long days I am doing. 

In all honesty, I can't have who I want and if by some miracle I did, I wouldn't be able to keep them.  

Teens vs 40's

If anything, all this trouble about my teenage stepson has made me very glad to be 39. Being a teen is much worse. The moods and unruly emotions of love, lust, desire, hopes and dreams fill your every waking moment. 

When you're 39, all dreams have been scrapped. All there is, is this day and tomorrow. 

I prefer that. I know love for a partner is make believe and love for your children is real. I know moments are fleeting and to be enjoyed. 

I have money to do as I please. I can travel without anyone's permission. I can drink alcohol to excess. 

What's not to like? Grey hair? Balding? 

Who gives a fuck. It's better than being a teen. 

Teenage dirtbag

My stepson has the threat of being thrown out at sixteen, hanging over him like the sword of Damocles. I haven't witnessed his physical or verbal outbursts and so have to bear that in mind when I'm told he deserves this real threat from his mum. I'm worried for him that if she goes through with this surprising threat, he will go on a downward spiral of self loathing which I went on even when I was not in that situation. Maybe I will end up with a teenage stepson lodger. 

Half of me doesn't want that. 

Teenage findings

If I could take you back to my teenage bedroom in the late 80's early 90's, the first thing that would strike you is the smell. Teenage sweaty feet covered over with Lynx deodorant I would guess. If I were to show you all the things I had hidden over those difficult years it would include, if I'm going to be this honest, banned knives, 3 minty cigarettes, 3 car badges from the Beastie Boys era (none of which I had prised off), magic mushrooms (which I never consumed) and surprise surprise (not! In a teenage boys bedroom) pornography (I was surprised by the fact that upon  encountering a real woman, they didn't actually have staples in their midriff). 

All together this, in my eyes, seems like standard findings. I wasn't that odd. Teenage life is an exploration and learning has to be done In private. I don't think I did anything wrong as such but I knew I'd get a bollocking if these items were discovered, and some of them were. 

Going from boy to Man makes you do some weird things. Things that I won't even share on here. The things I did were only half of what I 'thought'. 

I'm happy to be a grown up and not have anything remotely interesting hidden these days. 

So my heart goes out to my step son tonight as he's about to receive his bollocking for similar findings. 

It's just part of learning the world. 

Birth to adulthood

No sooner had a returned home on Monday evening from Halifax dropping my son off, I had to return to collect my stepson. There's been a row between him and his mum and I raced to the rescue. It was obvious that both parties needed to cool off. I returned again to mine and let him tell me his version of the row. A couple of hours later and I let his mother know where he was, but to be fair she was still mad at him. 

I tried to be as unjudgemental as I could while pointing him to his errors. But he's a teenager, growing into a man awkwardly just like all the others. I was glad I could help a little in getting him out if the grief for a night. But I had to drag him out if bed at 7am and plonk him at the train station whether he liked that or not. Today he will just have his mother to face afresh. Birth is never easy. The birth to adulthood is also painful. 

Residual thoughts

A fresh week would usually mean a fresh start but thoughts of my 'not fitting the mould' seems prevalent this morning. I got married in the usual way but carry battle scars from relationships in my brain. What use does thinking these memories through do? My mistakes and revelations are set in stone in the past now. Only the future can be written. I think it's only right to concentrate on the present actually so I believe it's all ok. 

I must make the journey to visit my sister in her new house as I visit everyone else and complain that they don't visit me and I'm the unsociable one. There's also the fact that she will move away with her husbands job as a soldier making that a certainty.  Ah families. 

I guess this is what people think is what I need, someone to talk to and cuddle. But a partner means hassle for me. 

Sisters wedding.

My sisters wedding went very well I must say. The speeches shuck something loose on me though. The groom gave a moving speech on a number of issues which I managed to not weep at by concentrating on pretending to mess with the camcorder with which I was recording them. 

But during the night, high in red bull, I woke and his words came flooding back causing tears to wet my face and pillow. Words of love and respect had blossomed in my half asleep brain and I pictured myself having to give a speech about being proud of my son etc and I knew it wouldn't be possible without bawling. My respect for the groom grew more from his speech and how well he handled it. 

I think some of my tears were also from actually telling my step kids that I loved them both on the night and a bit by the thoughts of how my marriage failed. I guess I just all in all felt more in touch with my feelings. I ended up cursing brain as I tried and failed to get back to sleep. I watched Netflix here and there from 5am. 

My Sunday morning consisted of meeting a bloke in relation to our ghost endeavours and then returning my suit. As I was in Halifax I thought I would try the Vue cinema. The ticket for parking wouldn't allow me to just pay for two or three hours but made the minimum payment be £5.50 for six hours. This was a Sunday too!. I paid and was annoyed. I followed the stairs downwards and outside before I found the cinema entrance. Then I rode the winding escalators back up to the box office. I saw the next film up was one I wasn't particularly arsed about. I figured this would cost another £9 to see this film and so I thought I'd cut my losses and lose over an hours wait, so I just left. I was still annoyed that I'd paid £5.50 for ten minutes parking but I was minimising damage. 

I even skipped my idea to drive to my free showings at cine world in favour if going home. 

My afternoon was mostly a case of watching LUTHER series 3, reading my book and eating. 

I'm looking forward to a three day weekend with my son next weekend. Balance will be restored. 

Life roles onwards as normal for me now. As other peoples lives change and fluctuate, I try and keep mine the same. 

My sisters father and girlfriend spoke to me last night and came up with the opinion that I would meet another woman in my life and I couldn't stop it from happening. This was based on their joint opinion that I was ' too young to be on my own'. It was frustrating for me because I was adamant that I'd found happiness and yet they were convinced that they knew best. The thing is, I could accept that they knew better because they had more life experience than I. 

I guess who was right will be determined in the future. 

Nights anxiety.

Every once in a while I get these evenings where I wake at 3am. Here's the latest one. Having worked all Sunday, had a busy day with the kids after work on Monday, worked 14 hours Tuesday, had my son which led to a school run and then more overtime on a stressful job, I've found this week to be one of being at full throttle. Add to this that I am one day away from my sisters wedding which I find a daunting prospect to sort out my son, my self and my step kids for. My head is full of wondering how things are going to go. I finished GTA 5 last night, which if anything, was an anticlimax. Our ghost team seems to have run out of steam at the moment as our team leaders passion seems to have evaporated. It's a tiring time for all as summer ends and the dark, wet English autumn takes hold. My personal bubble remains intact which reminds me of a line I heard in 'The Iceman' last night. Chris Evans's character said "I only feel alone around other people" which sums me up wonderfully and so makes the wedding day seem like a very lonely proposition. 

I think once next week is upon me I will feel some relief. Christmas isn't a concern I'm very happy to say. 

I feel omnipresent at work having worked so many hours overtime this year and it's been greatly rewarding financially but hard on my mind mentally. I don't take my holidays currently in favour of the cash and it means I never get a really good rest for a few days. But I'm not complaining , it is as I choose. Just saying I'm a bit dazed. 

I also think this wedding has sparked up thoughts of my own and it's always with a tinge of regret that it faded the way it did. My son remains a constant joy and pillar of strength for me and I must congratulate myself on still not drinking nearly two and a half years on. I'm at my strongest, I believe. I've also rediscovered music this year after keeping it at a distance for 18 months for fear of it leading to bad thoughts or sadness. 

But Eminem's new single Rap God for example, has lit the fire in my belly once more and I feel alive again. Bands like Losers and others have injected some much needed passion into me. Passion for life that is, not for women, as women are destroyers of living. I should say partners of either sex really as I don't mean women only. So it would be better to say 'relationships'. We got there in the end eh? Maybe I should try sleep some more. 

03:23 am. 

Mondays over...

Monday at work involved a hurdle of a job but I negotiated the tricky printing of it and was not late collecting my son. We made our way to his grandmas and watched half of Iron Man 3 until we are tea and then played together. There were many conversational distractions as I discussed the upcoming wedding of my sister and her house move. I took my boy home and gave my stepson a drum lesson where he had a bad week playing to music out of time as if he couldn't even hear the song. He seems to refuse to count in time. 

I called at Asda to buy a toaster for work on my way home and then showered and stuck rigidly to my 'tv off' Monday rule and completed my write up of a recent investigation. So now I have nothing major hanging over me to concentrate on and this is good news. 

My PPS mate rang to give dates for us visiting a schools psychology class but all the options were when I was working and I wouldn't budge on when I was free. I wasn't being a dick, it's just that it's tricky to correspond with school times and it's bit worth losing a days paid holiday for the sake of 90 mins. 

I'm always not pleasing someone. 

Investigation at The Picture House

The Picture House Cellar, Keighley.

Visit 3. 

Visit 2 was a quiet one. two things of note did occur though. Firstly as we closed our protection down, Kevin jolted from our joined hands as he had been kicked on the leg painfully. 

Secondly, as David showed Sue the cellar area, Sue felt the old brick columns down there and felt a spirit hand stroke the back of her own. 

Our third visit consisted of Si, Sue, Kevin and the return of Gill. In addition we were joined by a different member of staff, a young girl called Julia. Julia was intrigued but nervous. More nervous in fact by cellars in general and wanted to join in the session but had to acclimatise first. 

As the team set up equipment around the lower underground areas which was made up of approximately 5 areas of differing sizes, Sue saw a shadow cross a doorway which led to nowhere these days  but had been a passageway of more importance in times gone by. Sue set up her recording equipment to face this doorway. I rang my singing bowl in order to charge the air with vibrations in order to prompt better EVP's. We had to be aware of the high electrical readings particularly at one end of the room and also be aware that the cinema upstairs was currently in use. 

We did protection from the group and people reported swaying feelings. Si led the board in asking out and kevin reported battery drain as Si was explaining how our instruments could be affected by spirits. Some of us get a smell in the room which is described as food. This is narrowed down to mashed potato or veg smells. It turns out to be a vent which leads in to the cellar from outside where the take away is on the main road. Si is unsure but thinks he sees shadows in various places as he speaks. The glass moves and then Kevin also sees a shadow in an adjacent room. Si asked me to check for a buzzing noise and i find a natural explanation. Julia says her eyes have started watering for some reason as the glass spells D-W-A-R-F. Si hurriedly asks to be blindfolded as this word is spelling because he doesn't want to be accused of leading the glass subconsciously. This is because two weeks earlier, as we were about to conduct visit 2, Si gave me a sealed envelope in which he had written some information which had popped into his head about what we may come up against. Si admitted that some of it was probably too weird to have relevance. 

(I looked for the envelope but i'd left it at home). After the investigation, I discovered that one of the things Si had written was DWARF. The temperature drops in the room and Kevin reports being colder on one side of him as he films. The glass goes to G but seems to have no relevance. We discover the 'dwarf' is a female. Sue asks for her name but only gets V,D,V spelt, then NO. 

Si is struggling to keep his finger on the glass but it's safe for him to remove the blindfold anyway. 

The board users give their names as this can sometimes convince the spirit to give their names.

When Si says 'Si' the glass doesn't move to the next person. "Si" NO

"OK Simon" NO

"Alright, what is my name then?" G-R-E-E-N. This refers to Si's moniker 'The Green Man' which the spirits seemed to have dubbed him for weeks now. 

Chris "Can you tell us a word that green represents?" L-I-G-H-T. This is correct and is answered correctly by different spirits at differing locations and with different people on the board.

As Gill asks "What colour am I?" Si gets a static shock.

One of our meters bleeps and it takes us a second to realise that it's our meter which is notoriously difficult to set off. Whatever energy has activated it must be strong. If it was natural, our other meters should have also had some activation of some kind. This time it's Gill's turn to see a shadow. Our most difficult meter makes 2 beeps and then 7 in a row. I pull out a camera and ask for it to be done again but it doesn't happen. We set up a camera next to that meter form now on but to no avail on this night. 

I ask for a name again but the room is very still and quiet. Si says "did you hear that?" 

We believe a new spirit has joined us as the glass is moving differently and is in fact going to each corner of the table in turn. 

Sue "Did you stroke my hand last time?" YES   

  "Did you stroke my hair earlier?" No answer. 

  "How many spirits are here now?" 2

Julia says she is happy in herself and yet has a strong urge to weep. 

Si "Is there ever any more than 2 down here?" NO.

Only this new MALE presence claims to ever be seen by anybody. 

I know the reported evidence and so i ask the spirit "How do you interact with people ho come down here? There is one main piece of activity, what is it?" D-O-O-R. 

This is correct. The door is left open and it's shut upon return. The door is closed often and so i throw a curve ball to test the spirit. "What do you do with the door, always leave it OPEN?" YES.

(aha, i think, i've caught you out)

Si "Is there someone else who shuts it?" YES. (damn)

Chris "Who?" 

Si "Is it a living human?" NO

"Is it the other spirit?" YES. 

"So you (the male) open it and the other one shuts it?" YES

Gill "Sounds like a marriage" YES. 

We still have no real details as such. We push on. 

Si "Were you married then?" YES

Sue "In what year?" 

Julia "Was it a happy marriage?" 

Si feels instinctively that it was 'a marriage of convenience'. 

Si "You made money from her didn't you?" 

Sue "Was she on the stage? You made a show of her?" a strong YES. 

"Did she love you?" NO

"Did you love her?" NO

Julia cannot seem to stop being a little upset even though she is actually fine. It would seem she is feeling the emotions of this female. Gill sees a face near Kevin. Si feels a breeze and then Gill senses a presence near her. Kevin reports a big draft this time. There's a palpable sense of apprehension in the air as if something big is about to happen. Nothing of major note occurs though. Julia runs with the feelings she is feeling and expresses that she believes the female felt used and bitter about the male. Gill hears a breath but on review i don't hear one on audio.

Julia "I feel her pain and anger at being used".

We concentrate back on the board. With this man seeming to have taken over the board, Si asks for the little lady to return to the board. I heard a noise behind me at the time but hear nothing on review. The glass corners the board again and Si feels a coldness behind him as the glass draws a small square in the centre of the table and expands its size with each side it draws, until it fills the board.   

"What is your name please?" B-O-S-S. My audio picks up a tuneful whistling which isn't apparent at the time. 

"Are you male?" YES

A feeling of coldness and unease creeps over most of us. 

Chris "Can we look at your wife then? What's the price of admission?" As i try to get a response, my audio picks up a further fragment of that same whistling but we don't hear a a thing at the time. 

There is silence for a few minutes. Kevin hears a whispering  i dismiss him at the time but upon review i think I may have heard a weak thing too. The square glass movement has now become the signature of this male presence  being at the board and so it's him we are talking to now still. 

As we try and ask questions to trace some information back, the spirit is refusing to play ball, aware of our scheme. Instead we play 'lose the fingers' where the spirit is playfully challenged  to shake the teams fingers off the glass by moving violently. 

The glass moves and shakes all the fingers off. I have the cheek to ask for it to do it again as i was distracted by my notes. With the team holding on harder this time, the glass speeds up, shoving backwards and forwards in a straight line until it simply tips over knocking all the fingers off and the teams accept defeat and give BOSS a round of applause. We suggest that BOSS exploited the lady and he agrees. BOSS seems fine about it though and we have to understand that to some degree,it was different times and ways years ago. 

Julia "She didn't like being looked at" Is this why the female closes the door?"

Sue "Did you have kids?" NO

Chris "How come you are down in this cellar?"

"I'd rather find you in the stage area with the others" YES

"Are you gonna tell me that the other three lady spirits (From visit 1) didn't allow you up there?" YES

"ok, i've set up your answers enough now"  H..O.. The spirit seems to change it's mind in telling us something about himself. 

We try and level the playing field by turning the tables from asking the spirit all the questions. Chris "OK, Is there anything we can do for you? "

"Are you happy down here?" H-O-M-E

"You'd like to return home?" YES

'Where do you consider home to be my friend?" F-R-A-N-C-E

Chris "Which part?" L-E-O-N. (i've found a leon in France in a city called Les Landes, could this be it?)

"Was the lady also from France?" NO

Kevin hears four breaths. 

Sue 'Were you a 'victim' yourself in some way too?" YES

"A victim of what? Just of the times in general?" YES

Gill feels something near her. 

Chris "Were you a family act?" YES

David checks in from working in the cinema and confirms that the place has been a variety venue once. Si "If you went home to France, you'd be separated from the lady, could you do that?" 

"Which is more important, going home or being the boss of the little lady?" my recordings pick up a singular whistle. There's no answer to Si on the board. 

David, Si and I chat and i record whistling under our voices. unaware of the whistling, i try and get the lady back to the board. As we recall our findings to David, Julia wells up again. Is the lady drawing near again? 

Sue and Gill feel cold.

I hear a female HHMMM on audio. 

Si "Do you want us to go?" Julia is overwhelmed once more and says "Crying is stupid and so I know this is not my emotion"

There's an odd noise and someone asks "Did you hear that?"

Out of the blue, Si asks "Why did you cut her hair?" 

Sue "Was it to make her look like a boy?" 

Gill feels as if someone is toying with her hair. 

The lady is finally on the glass again. 

Chris "Would you give us your name now?" nothing. 

Kevin "What year were you here?" nothing. 

Gill "Was your hair as long as mine? nothing.

We discuss the possibility of crossing these twos spirits together and if it's even possible,  

Gill "Do you love him?"

The lady may still love him but can"t forgive him it seems. 

4-5 is spelt. 

"45 was when you died?" 

Chris "Can you tell us what 45 represents?" 

Gills hair is still being stroked. 

T-I-M-E-S

"45 Times is the amount of what?" 

Gill "He put you on stage?" NO

Sue "He cheated on you?" NO

'What year it was?" NO

Si "Did something happen 45 times?" YES

"What happened?" M-E-N

Gill "She was raped?" Julia says she had that in her head as well.

It appears that BOSS pimped her out as a boy for men. 

Si "Did it ever happen down here at this location?" 2 (Twice)

"Did you perform here often?" NO

"Did you go somewhere after?" L-E-E-D-S

So the duo was a touring act. 

This lady chose to marry BOSS but chose badly.

 Gill "Could you please tell us where you're from?'   D-E-V-O-N (Julia finished this word aloud)

"How'd you meet him?" S-H-I-P

He had been a passenger on the ship she had once worked on. Boss seems to be felt around by us but he's allowing this communication to continue. 

We convince the lady to use the glass as a pen instead of moving to letters. 

S-A-R-A-H is spelt out elegantly and clearly as we ask. 

Chris "Would you allow us your last name?" H-A-R-P-E-R. a lovely R was made with the glass i recall. 

David speaks out and makes peace with the spirits in the area letting them know they are welcome. 

Si "Does David shut the door for you?" NO

"Would you prefer him to close the door for you?" YES. David says he'll close it. 

David leaves to continue his work.

Si explains that BOSS no longer has a hold over the lady and that there are other spirits at this location but Sarah doesn't leave the cellar. Julia reports back pain but this may be natural. 

Sarah and BOSS don't actively ask us to move them on so we don't. 

The energies are low now as Gill feels a stabbing in her heart and Si gets prodded in the back. 

The glass goes to GOODBYE and we wrap up. 

A weird nights information peels another onion layer off the Picture House. 

We leave unaware of all the noises we actually recorded. 

C Whitehouse 2013.