I was back in touch with an ex girlfriend of many moons ago and struck up a friendship since we were both single and it was uncomplicated to do so. I'd very much enjoyed our brief chats over the weeks. Recently she had died off somewhat and I decided to actively nudge her into communication again. This had required weighing up my 'reasons' for doing so.
It seems I enjoy our interactions a great deal. She holds fond memories from my past but also brings the memories of us splitting up and all the grumbles which led up to it and what also came from getting over her.
Obviously it's fairly easy to put these out of my mind (and here too) since much has happened since those days.
Anyway, having enjoyed our contact recently, I missed it when she went quiet. I had to ask myself if I 'needed' her to the point of importance or whether It would come across to her that I was imposing myself on her too much.
But I came to the final thought of 'fuck it- I want to talk to her again'.
She does fill a gap in a way. She is the only female of my age (or any age) that I get to hold a conversation with and I enjoy doing so.
It's safe.
It also means I don't 'really' despise all females at all. I just can't bear to be hurt anymore by them.
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