After our trying investigation event at Hebden Bridge last night I awoke and idled in front of the tv until it was time to pick up my step son. We went to the cinema to watch 'The Darkest Hour'. We both really enjoyed it and it felt good sharing his company again. I do wish he was my son but it's kinda nice that I'm not too. I take credit that he still wants to be my friend because he could've dropped me. He doesn't know that I was pushed out of the marriage so he may have seen it as me leaving the family home. It'll come out on time when he has the confidence to ask. I'd love to shake him and say not to bother with women but I know that isnt how it works. Everybody needs to burn their fingers before they understand what 'hot' is. 

It's Sunday afternoon and darkness has drawn in. The days of January 2012 tick by like a clocks second counting hand. Sometimes I wish I was a world away, in a house situated in the shadows of a far off moon where nooses expectations of me can reach me. My hatred of society and mingling with others is still worn on my sleeve. Will I ever thaw? Luckily the path I am now on doesn't need it to so its not an issue. My life is selfish in many ways but also it means I don't drag others down into my darkness. BUT in my opinion I am the brightest I have ever been. My moods are great (for me) and its only the fact that I feel out of synch with others that causes a problem. When I'm alone I don't see my weaknesses coming into action so I'm fine. It's when others pass me by that I feel like a round peg on a square hole. 

"a place for everything and everything in its place" as they say...and I am in my place, you can join me if you like but you won't stick it as there's only one seat...and I won't share it. 
(but I will give it up for my son).