I fought my way to my aunts house for tea, thought the work traffic and the sleet filled rain and dark. I can do without it snowing. I seemed to surprise my aunt by arriving ten minutes early and it made me feel as if I had got the wrong day. I was comforted when I saw my name wrote upon a kitchen calendar. No matter how sure you are of something, you can be brought to doubt yourself by a simple expression on someone's face. Now I find myself sat in silence in her lounge whilst she cooks tea. It feels very surreal...I feel in the way if anything. 
I had promised my cousin from Hull that I would visit him and his family in February. I have stuck to my word and text them a date. I received a text back saying that I would have a double bed to myself. So I returned the text by saying I wouldn't be sleeping over. It's only an hour or so to get there. That isn't a big deal for me and I don't like to not sleep at home. If I have a house that is reachable I will always plump for that. Visiting people is something that eats into my personal time and so it's something I don't want to drag out. This goes for all visits that I plan and as you can probably tell, I don't plan many. What's wrong with not wanting to invade other peoples quality time? Have others really got nothing better to do? Well, I have.

I have exchanged a couple of brief emails to my father. My initial reaction to this happening is always frosty but I think I have to be the better man and just allow him the opportunity to screw up again one more time. 

One good thing I enjoyed today was my step daughter agreeing to come and see two films with me. There has been a radio silence from her and it made me think that she sees me as some kind of enemy. I guess to a near.y sixteen year old, everyone is the enemy. I felt like that and never grew out of it. I had dalliances with being personable but always ended up worse off. 


By the way...to all those asking... I still am ALMOST about to do the next A WEEK IN MY LIFE 1993, it just keeps being tomorrow when I will do it.