A week in the life part 1

A WEEK IN MY LIFE (Episode 1)

The year is 1992. It's FRIDAY JANUARY 10th. There are adverts for the new console SEGA CD on the tv as well as RESERVOIR DOGS at the cinema. But tonight finds  a 17 year old me getting ready to go to Bradford with his friend Dan. With a new haircut atop my head I am showered and listening to things such as the new 7" by The Wedding Present, 'Blue Eyes'. 
Dan and I head straight to 'Tumblers' nightclub/shithole. 
Whilst I enjoy 2 pints of cider a list of names join us. My diary lists them, but I only know who one of them is, out of ten. Now that's scary.
We sit and try and make conversation as we await the upper floor to open where we can sit in the dark and imagine what it would be like to get off with someone who would turn out to mean a lot to us. 
There is a tendency to look back upon these times as a high point of life. But I am not fooled, it was heart wrenching at best. Each lonely journey home with no new experience to show for it. It would have been cheaper to stay home and play the same music. (forever the party animal,I)
My diary ends this night with these lines....
'SB nowhere in sight'


Ok it didn't say SB, but these are the initials of my by then Ex girlfriend. A brief but important exchange of fluids had seemed to mean the world to me......that month. 
Oh how fickle womanhood had seemed. SB had weeks earlier been a veggie eating peace maker and now she had turned into a rocker, dropped softie ME and went looking for a rocker boyfriend. I'd changed my image in a way since being dumped. I shaved all my hair off except for the fringe. This was a look amongst some youths at the time. We were copying 'CARTER USM' who had some popularity. I just looked a cock but I think it was a last bid crack at making SB regret what she had thrown away. I was putty in her hands if only she wanted to get her hands on me.....thing is.. She didn't. 
Look out as I might, she never was seen pretty much from then on, even though I looked every week (until the next brief girlfriend occurred).
I had took the breakup badly although not half as badly as I pretended, even to myself. It seemed like a good focus for my dwelling on life and death, like any self respecting teen. 
 
Anyway finally that days entry ended with...
'SB I really like you and I want to see you'

There's something non committal about that wording almost understanding that you have to leave room for your desire to reach higher heights in the future. 
  

SATURDAY JANUARY 11th 1992
 
1:14pm I state to my diary that I am tired. I sit on my (smelly) bed and watch Jean-Claude Van Damme in 'AWOL'. As I watch this film I scrawl that 'I find it hard not to think of SB' 
But luckily I have plans in the afternoon. I visit my aunts and play three board games and tell my diary proudly that I won two of these games adding that we also ate 'Spicy Food'. (Forever the culinary expert)
I present my aunt with two drawings I have done for her. 
The first is called "AIR RIDE IN THE BLIND KNOWLEDGE OF HAPPINESS"
The second is "DRIFTING THROUGH THE WRINKLED VALLEYS OF PULSATING MOUNTAINS"
The titles are heavily influenced by listening to "THE ORB".
 As I sit in bed listening to JEAN MICHEL JARRE's 'Rendezvouz part 4' and write....
'I REALLY MISS SB!  BITCH.'.   (JESUS!) 

If only I could go back and shake myself. 
With music and films to pass the day and a window to stare out of, plus a girl to obsess over I guess I was well catered for. 



(this week continues later...)