After an hour of cuddling my son as he coughed continually as four am, he joined me in my bed as the cough medicine started to take effect. Much like when you count the gap between the flash of lightening and the sound of thunder, I too counted the slowly expanding time between coughs that he did as the medicine took hold. This hour awake through the night was placated by the time from 8:30 am till 11:15 am as we laid in bed watching 7episodes of Power Rangers Jungle Fury on Netflix. We had resigned not to go on another walk today due to his ailments.
After this quiet Saturday morning and afternoon I took him home. I had told him months ago that if I was a ghost in his brain when I wasn't with him. Also if he felt where his heart was and felt a bumping, then that was my ghost knocking from the inside t say I was always with him, even when I physically wasn't. Today he actually mirrored that sentiment back at me as I drove him home. It actually had more of a profound effect on me that way round. I drove off under the influence of the notion and felt really comforted by the thought.
So I sat in the cinema and watched Texas Chainsaw 3-D and then Jack Reacher, contented.
Jack Reacher made me think of my trying to be invisible to society and blending into a crowd. Tom Cruise's tough body also had me thinking of the gym I used to go to and how much I loved it. But then I also loved leaving it and wondering what I went for or rather who I went to impress exactly. Being toned etc is a life style choice and requires devotion. But at the end if the day , I could perhaps tone my body a little but it wouldn't make me taller or better looking or even be a better person. I considered briefly, the thought of joining the gym to just run on the treadmill again, but soon realised the thought that always occupied my mind when on a treadmill. "Surely I could just run outside and save the money".
So I will just walk as I first planned.
If I reduce my sugar intake slightly and walk ...at all!!!, then I will have improved myself , and that's all I want. Hey, if I did ten press ups or sit ups a day only , then that would be a massive total more than last year. But as I say, to actually see an improvement, you have to be devoted and I don't see the point for me.
I went to Asda as it closed at 10PM unfortunately. I was turned away at the door. I pulled up outside my home and walked down the two hundred foot walk over the bridge to the postbox and posted my LOVEFILM disc with the thought that I was sober and awake. It felt great to think that many were drunk or drugged and fit for not much, but I was still able to tackle anything.
I enjoyed the quiet streets and considered briefly going for a long walk. But then I pictured myself meeting a drunk or a mugger and having the regrets of not going home to deal with.
So I sit and write this blog just before I round off my evening with Black Ops 2. Finally I will prestige for the first time.
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