I bumped into a fella I used to go to school with and he was working at the ARC car wash in keighley. He had not excelled in school because he was considered a bit thick if I'm honest, but I always got on with the thick kids as I wasn't much better. 
I wondered whether he would acknowledge me or not as you never know if you should or not do you. But we did, and I said I'd just left my wife and he told me how he had been single for four years since his girlfriend from Wakefield had got too clingy. Now I should explain that this old school friend also isn't Brad Pitt. Infact it's fair to say that he has large warts on his face as well as his eyes don't point in the same direction. I'm only stating the facts. Anyway it amused me when he regaled me of tales of his possessive girlfriend stalking him at football practice to check that he was indeed there. I could picture this old school friend carrying a shitty stick but found it laughable that he was ever beating women off with it. Having said that, when he said 'girlfriend' I pictured a really pretty girl, as one does. Then I thought what would a girl besotted with him look like? I imagined the pretty girl that I had at first pictured but seen through the bottom of a pint glass and dressed as if entering a 'Dirty Hillbilly' competition. Ahh that's more like it. There's someone for everyone I thought. Except me it would seem.