Today was going to be a struggle. I accepted that as I left to get my haircut before arriving at my ex's for my step daughters birthday. There was a strange atmosphere with us rolling around being a family for the day. My son and I played as my wife tried to speak to me with question after question, what did you do last night? What are your plans today or tomorrow? 
I felt bad saying I watched a film, but I can't afford to do much else. I took my stepson to the cinema and watched 'The Fighter'. It had emotional weight to it but I felt at times I was holding back the tears. I don't actually think it was about the film. When I find a good time I think I will need to try have a good cry before I can move along. We all went to Pizza Hut and were seated. Strange away my ex started to cry so we upped and went home. Being surrounded by happy families was too much for her. This led to a conversation in which I pointed out that in order to become friends again, we need to separate. We should have days where we don't see each other. Today was as if we hadn't broke up at all and it caused problems. 
This is difficult for me as I don't want to be with my ex but then I miss out on my son. He has been ok about me leaving so far thank god. That is my Achilles heel and I will keep that a secret.